Do You Need Approval from Others?

When you need approval from others you are operating with an AGENDA in your relationships. Your need for approval blocks the path to true intimacy. If you want to have fulfilling relationships, then you need to already have approval within yourself before interacting with others. Trying to get approval at every turn is arduous, exhausting and selfish. You may not be intentionally hogging the show, after all, you are respecting the person enough to want their approval, but your hard work to win approval sucks the life out of everyone around you.

The truth is, you don't need anyone's approval. You just need your own. For some reason, when you're trying to get the approval of others, you've placed too much importance on them. You've projected your own personal need for your own approval onto them. You've given their opinion of your worth more value than you're own opinion of your worth when you're aiming to get their approval. No one needs to approve of you, but you.

We all engage in approval seeking behaviors. The more we try to get the approval of others, the more cut off we are from others. The less we feel we need the approval of others, the more mature we are, and the more capable we are of having healthy, mutually beneficial relationships. If you stop trying to get approval from others, you have time to stop and take notice of them. You can empathize with them, learn more about them, engage with them more deeply. No need to try to get your unmet dependency needs met as you go. Take care of your own stuff on your own time. When you're relating with others, keep your personal self worth needs off the table.