Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Understanding Manipulation

When people manipulate you, they do it consciously. Manipulators are not on the defensive, but rather, on the offensive--attacking you.

Manipulation Tactics Part 2: Rationalization / Excuse Making

Manipulators obstruct values of social interaction. They also use power and control as weapons to get what they want. Manipulators make rationalizations and excuses.
Rationalization is the person saying that they hear that you don't like the behavior, but they're not going to change. When an abusive person is called out and they rationalize their behavior, no matter how convincing, what they're saying is that I hear what you're saying, but I'm justifying that I am doing is okay even if it's not okay.
When it comes to a wrong behavior, there is no excuse. A disturbed character will make a case to try to still look good, and manipulate you into accepting their excuse.
Manipulators rarely answer a direct question. They're good for putting you on the defensive, making you feel like a bad guy for confronting them.

Monday, April 28, 2014

Keep Moving Forward

Sherrie Campbell, Ph.D.

If we hold onto what is old and outdated, no longer nurturing, or fulfilling we block our future. It can be hard and painful to let go of what we are used to, but if what we are used to is no longer fulfilling then to stay hoping for fulfillment to return puts us in a lack of movement. Hope becomes our dope. When we move forward we let go of wanting people to become better versions of themselves and we commit to being better versions of ourselves. Changing ourselves is the whole purpose. When life changes we have to believe that great things are about to happen, much greater than what we were living in before. It may not show up immediately but if we commit to loving ourselves, we will be "ready," and the new lock-and-key life matches will present themselves, and we will be so glad we left the life which was too small and constricting for us. We often stay in the old because we can't see that something better will come because after we leave anything we enter in the grey area. For whatever reason, the grey area of uncertainty is very painful for us. Without a focus on loving ourselves, it feels like limbo. When we are here it is simply the space between the old and new. If we commit to making this grey area productive with self-improvement the new amazing things will come to us more quickly. Do your inner work. Leave what is too small. Be brave into the grey area and make your life extraordinary. Love Love Love Yourself!

Sherrie Campbell, Ph.D.

When life is pushing you have to keep on keeping on. Life is supposed to do this to us, and it will happen all throughout life. The expectation that life will someday "even out" is a dangerous thought, as it sets us up for disappointment when our next painful growth opportunity arises. We seem to grow the most when we are in pain, and so as much as it is uncomfortable and we hurt from it, this is always an opportunity to get connected to our spirit, to our resilience, the refinement of who we are and who we want to be. It is healthy for certain time periods to simply shut life down, so we can take inventory on how we are participant, not a victim, in our own pain. When we can see these painful times as "evolvement courses" then we can give our pain a new idea, a new thought, a new purpose. Once we give our pain this new thought, we can get into action. We can get into the action of changing and shifting who we are how we operate in the world. If we are being pushed around by life and we cannot see the end of the pain, we have to get deliberate in our own idea of our pain, change our perspective to forward-moving-progress, so we can rise from our decent. When we rise..there is nothing like it. We rise on all levels. Those who are around us and those whom we have chosen to leave will get to see what it is like for someone to get knocked down..but who will get right back up. Focus on Getting Up! There is only one way in which time moves and that is forward so if you don't get up, you are obstructing life's flow...if there is no flow you cannot heal. So, get up, get going, look within, don't blame...refine yourself. Love yourself facebook...that is what it is all about.

100 Things Intimacy is Not

    Have you ever asked yourself, WHAT IS INTIMACY? If so, you're smart because intimacy is one of the most precious, evolved experiences known to man. It's the most connected kind of love you can have, and something that we humans are hardwired to seek. Unfortunately, many of us are ill equipped to be truly intimate and real with one another. There is so much baggage that's been passed down to today's human race. So much mental illness, abuse, false beliefs and other crap--few get the benefit of true intimacy. 
    In exploring the concept of intimacy, I've decided to start with all the things we try to pretend are intimacy, but which are no where near true connection. In fact, this list contains many maladaptive behaviors that push intimacy and true love away--far away. 
    Take a look at this list and see if any of these issues plague your life, and if it does, take all the time in the world to fix it. True intimacy is worth all the work you have to do on yourself to get there. Happy Loving!

  1. Intimacy is not an interaction based on power and control.
  2. Intimacy is not between two relationally unequal people.
  3. Intimacy is not dictating how the other person should think, feel or be.
  4. Intimacy is not manipulating someone to pay attention to you.
  5. Intimacy is not playing games.
  6. Intimacy is not one-sided.
  7. Intimacy is not conditional love.
  8. Intimacy is not judgmental.
  9. Intimacy is not an ego boost.
  10. Intimacy is not an attempt to prove your worth with another person's acceptance.
  11. Intimacy is not painful.
  12. Intimacy is not trying to please another person by morphing into someone else.
  13. Intimacy is not silence, withholding or withdrawing.
  14. Intimacy is not demanding your own way.
  15. Intimacy is not pleasing a person at all costs.
  16. Intimacy is not fusion.
  17. Intimacy is not alienation.
  18. Intimacy is not going along with what the other person wants at all times.
  19. Intimacy is not punishing another for not doing what you want. 
  20. Intimacy is not afraid of closeness.
  21. Intimacy is not found in those who cannot love themselves.
  22. Intimacy is not a reason to hide your true self.
  23. Intimacy is not perfectionism. 
  24. Intimacy is not possible when you're giving into shame.
  25. Intimacy is not objectification of another person. 
  26. Intimacy is not a trophy wife.
  27. Intimacy is not narcissistic.
  28. Intimacy is not a crutch.
  29. Intimacy is not enabling a person to remain in their addictions. 
  30. Intimacy is not lying and conniving. 
  31. Intimacy is not running away.
  32. Intimacy is not exploitation. 
  33. Intimacy is not all or nothing. 
  34. Intimacy is not fear of rejection.
  35. Intimacy is not invalidation.
  36. Intimacy is not refusing to meet half way.
  37. Intimacy is not rejection.
  38. Intimacy is not demanding the other person to change. 
  39. Intimacy is not fixing one another. 
  40. Intimacy is not jealousy.
  41. Intimacy is not found in multiple affairs.
  42. Intimacy is not deception.
  43. Intimacy is not pornography.
  44. Intimacy is not lust. 
  45. Intimacy is not obsession.
  46. Intimacy is not addiction.
  47. Intimacy is not infatuation.
  48. Intimacy is not turning your back on the other. 
  49. Intimacy is not expecting one person to meet all your needs.
  50. Intimacy is not where you expect someone to be your whole world.
  51. Intimacy is not where you expect someone to be responsible for your truth.
  52. Intimacy is not a rescue mission. 
  53. Intimacy is not selfishness.
  54. Intimacy is not rigid.
  55. Intimacy is not a free-for-all.
  56. Intimacy is not disrespectful.
  57. Intimacy is not a demand or requirement on another. 
  58. Intimacy is not afraid to apologize. 
  59. Intimacy is not being worried about who is right.
  60. Intimacy is not ignoring hurts. 
  61. Intimacy is not about acting one way when you feel another.
  62. Intimacy is not about emotional explosions. 
  63. Intimacy is not about image. 
  64. Intimacy is not about dependency.
  65. Intimacy is not something you will die without. 
  66. Intimacy is not romantic love, though romantic love can certainly be involved.
  67. Intimacy is not sex, though sex can increase intimacy. 
  68. Intimacy is not walking out on a fight. 
  69. Intimacy is not hiding your true feelings. 
  70. Intimacy is not meeting the dependency needs of your childhood.
  71. Intimacy is not treating the other as less than. 
  72. Intimacy is not name calling and abusing. 
  73. Intimacy is not triggered from your unconscious. 
  74. Intimacy is not a list of rules and dogma.
  75. Intimacy is not pretending to be someone you're not. 
  76. Intimacy is not accepting inappropriate behavior in the other.
  77. Intimacy is not about hiding from the truth.
  78. Intimacy is not anxious and waiting for the other shoe to fly off.
  79. Intimacy is not insecurity.
  80. Intimacy is not longing.
  81. Intimacy is not confusing. 
  82. Intimacy is not impatient.
  83. Intimacy is not ego based. 
  84. Intimacy is not something you can force.
  85. Intimacy is not found in most relationships. 
  86. Intimacy is not critical of one another.
  87. Intimacy is not distrustful.
  88. Intimacy is not afraid to let another in.
  89. Intimacy is not stagnant. 
  90. Intimacy is not two people with one body.
  91. Intimacy is not between two lonely people.
  92. Intimacy is not automatic. 
  93. Intimacy is not engulfment.
  94. Intimacy is not your fantasy.
  95. Intimacy is not fear of abandonment.
  96. Intimacy is not built up resentments.
  97. Intimacy is not projections. 
  98. Intimacy is not ego-defenses. 
  99. Intimacy is not the approval of the other.
  100. Intimacy is not being thin or rich or good-looking enough for love.
(c) Jenna Ryan 2014

100 Things That Intimacy Is

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Part 2: 100 Ways to Lose Yourself in a Relationship

Part 1: Losing Yourself in Relationship

Losing yourself sucks. Believe me, I know. I've lost myself by following my own whims... Finding yourself is much better. Once you do find yourself, make sure you never again do these things:

100 Ways to Lose Yourself in a Relationship
  1. Idealizing your partner and thinking of him/her all the time, ignoring yourself. 
  2. Trying to please your partner instead of standing your ground.
  3. Bending your identity to become what you think your partner wants.
  4. Letting hormones take over and letting your physical boundaries go too soon.
  5. Trusting too much in someone who has not proven to be trustworthy yet.
  6. Overlooking behavior that is abusive or unacceptable. 
  7. Thinking wishfully about a future that is yet to be determined. 
  8. Overthinking the relationship, making it the central concern of your life.
  9. Thinking that a relationship will be the cure for all your problems. 
  10. Allow him or her to manipulate you in any way.
  11. Ignoring your own feelings, thoughts and beliefs while focusing on his or hers.
  12. Fantasizing about how things could be instead of seeing what really is. 
  13. Believing the lie that another person can make you happy.
  14. Thinking too much about him or her, ignoring your own needs. 
  15. Not speaking your truth for fear of rejection from the one you supposedly love. 
  16. Failing to set boundaries with your lover which serve as markers for your identity. 
  17. Willingness to go with the flow, ignoring your inner truth just to keep the peace. 
  18. Allowing yourself to believe that this person is your world.
  19. Failing to keep your own interests intact. 
  20. Stop communicating with your friends.
  21. Playing up all your shortcomings while pumping up that of the one you "love." 
  22. Being afraid to make your partner angry for fear he or she will leave you. 
  23. Not standing up for yourself. 
  24. Needing approval from outside yourself.
  25. Trying to get needs met by your partner that should have been met in childhood. 
  26. Playing games with your partner by, playing the victim, persecutor or rescuer. 
  27. Getting overly emotionally involved with your partner, not leaving anything left for you.
  28. Competing with other people in your partners life, including exes. 
  29. Changing for your partner.
  30. Trying to change your partner. 
  31. Trying to fix your partner. 
  32. Trying to control your partner--attempting to make him or her love you. 
  33. Holding on when you should be letting go.
  34. Failing to detach as the natural ebb and flow of a healthy relationship requires.
  35. Clinging onto your partner, following his or her every action. 
  36. Being afraid you will lose your partner. 
  37. Allowing yourself to become obsessed with the object of your affection.
  38. Seeking your worth from the one that you love. 
  39. Disengaging from your usual interests.
  40. Doing every single thing together.
  41. Spending every waking moment together. 
  42. Sacrificing your values in order to stay in relationship. 
  43. Being afraid to share your needs and wants. 
  44. Not setting limits on the behavior or your love. 
  45. Allowing your partner to abuse you without consequences. 
  46. Being desperate. 
  47. Thinking that you don't deserve this person.
  48. Not loving yourself enough to stay strong, grounded and connected inside--to yourself. 
  49. Avoiding topics of dissension with your partner, even those that are important to you. 
  50. Expecting your partner to do all the thinking. 
  51. Quitting your job and becoming financially dependent on your partner. 
  52. Filling up your emptiness with your partner instead of learning from your own pain. 
  53. Compromising your principals in order to make your partner happy.
  54. Enabling your partner to be addicted to drugs, alcohol, food, sex, gambling, etc...
  55. Question everything you do. Ruminate about your so-called "mistakes."
  56. Going along with whatever he or she says, even when you disagree.
  57. Allowing your partner to tell you how you should feel, be or act. 
  58. Tolerating useless criticism or rants that are hurtful to you. 
  59. Ignoring rude behavior. 
  60. Forgetting the things you used to love to do.
  61. Thinking if you could just love that person enough, he would see that you are perfect. 
  62. Thinking he or she has just never been loved, once they get a bit of your love, all is well. 
  63. You make excuses for his or her bad attributes. 
  64. You're dating a bad boy.
  65. He's married.
  66. You settled.
  67. He/she keeps you sober. 
  68. Keep on wanting him after he/she rejects you.
  69. Keep thinking he/she is the best thing that ever happened to you in your life. 
  70. Try to hide your flaws and appear perfect all the time. 
  71. Beat yourself up (self talk) for always saying the wrong thing. 
  72. Avoid expressing your dissenting opinion. 
  73. Be afraid of them rejecting you and leaving you if you show your true self. 
  74. Fear rejection. 
  75. Hide your true self. 
  76. Spend inordinate amounts of time scheming about how to get him to do something. 
  77. Make every single waking thought about you involve him somehow. 
  78. Try to relive the fantasy of receiving the unconditional love you never got. 
  79. See his / her potential rather than their right here and now. 
  80. Ignore red flags.
  81. Always take the blame. 
  82. Idolize him or her as if they are way above you.
  83. Lie down and be a doormat. 
  84. Let your world surround around his or her texts, voice mails or phone calls.
  85. Make yourself 150% available at all times. 
  86. Never disagree with him or make him mad. 
  87. Spend time figuring out ways to be of value to his life. 
  88. Stop thinking about what matters to you and start worrying about what he/she wants. 
  89. Take him back no matter how many times he/she rejects you.
  90. Beg him or her to stay.
  91. Ask for nothing for yourself.
  92. Give everything you've got. 
  93. Have sex without commitment. 
  94. Think that you're the lesser sex. 
  95. Stop wearing red lipstick because he doesn't like it.
  96. Cook, clean and do his laundry. 
  97. Pretend you're smiling when inside you're dying. 
  98. Ask him/her to tell you what you want. 
  99. Fail to set limits.
  100. Beat yourself up instead of taking your own side.
Society, our culture and our upbringing teaches us to be dependent upon a lover, as if we are nothing without someone else beside us. The truth is, you are nothing if you think you are nothing and that is it. We've been taught wrong. It is unhealthy to think that another person completes you. This mindset will lead you to the gutter of codependency and wicked badness. Don't go there. Learn to be a whole person first. Hold your own. Love yourself.  Rock the world. XO

No matter what, your relationship 
should always expand your life, not shrink it.

Lisa Firestone, PhD

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Losing Yourself In Relationships

Do you ever lose site of who you are? Losing yourself involves the feeling of being swept-away. It's where sound mind leaves off and compulsion takes over. Years ago, I found myself wanting to disappear into a lover. I wanted to be married. I wanted to feel better. I wanted to escape, to no longer deal with the pain of my aloneness. I wanted someone to rescue me and make all the decisions for me. I was so out-of-touch with who I was, I wanted to hide in someone whom I felt was wiser than me. I willingly handed over the reigns to him, forgoing self-responsibility, self care, self respect and along with it my dignity. It was easier for a while, but eventually the repercussions were a disaster. 

When you lose yourself in a romantic relationship, you tend to wake up one day saying, "Where am I?" You can find yourself living the life of someone else. No matter how hard you try to disappear and melt away into romantic bliss, one day you will inevitably wake up to find that you want yourself back. You may be like me--I had no other choice but to get myself back because he fell off a deep end. Once there was no one to tell me what to do, I had to take the reigns once again.

Getting yourself back can be arduous, as I learned through my divorce. The key is learning to hold onto yourself from the very beginning, and to never again allow your identity to be usurped for anyone, anything or any reason. You've got to be TRUE TO YOU

If you don't love yourself, it will be easy to lose your identity in your relationships with others, including your romantic relationships, friendships, acquaintances and even strangers. I've learned to love myself little-by-little through soul searching, reading, counseling and loving support of others. I've realized that it's a never-ending healing journey to become your true self... and that learning to love yourself involves staying connected with your truth at all times. Loving yourself means standing up for who YOU are, how YOU feel and what YOU need rather than bending without boundaries and pleasing others to gain approval.

This article has been brewing in my heart for more than a year now. I can't believe I'm finally writing it! Inspiration to write it came from my recent soul-searching, and also this statement by one of my favorite authors, Dr. Margaret Paul of "Inner Bonding." 

"How often do you take good care of yourself until you are around another person with whom you are in a relationship? How often do you disconnect from yourself and then hope to get love from another? You will feel abandoned whenever you disconnect from yourself, and the other person will feel pulled on to fill you up. Today, practice staying inwardly connected all day."

 I study much of Dr. Paul's work, and have found it to be very insightful, especially her concept of inner bonding, because in order to stay connected to yourself, that's exactly what you have to do! BOND INSIDE. You have to stop allowing your valuable love, time, attention and energy flow out of your heart and onto something else in hopes of getting what you need, and instead direct your own life-force, your thoughts, feelings, attachments into your own self. You must tap into your own life-source, your own God-likeness, your own Higher Power as your source for delight and well being.

There is no other way to be happy in this world other than to be happy within yourself. You can't lose yourself in relationships and come out okay. When you lose yourself, there is always dire consequences. You may feel relief from pain and agony in the short run, but in the long run, baby you will pay for ignoring your pain, and you'll pay again for running away. There are no shortcuts to healing and being whole. You have to go the hard way--by facing yourself, facing the pain and embracing what you see. You must accept yourself 100%. You must do the work of healing and recovery from the desire to want to melt into others.

Part 2: 100 Ways You Can Lose Yourself in Relationship

Part 3: 100 Ways to Hold Onto Yourself in Relationship

[coming soon]

Monday, April 21, 2014

Emotional Tunnel Vision

Emotional Tunnel vision in my life is when you focus on one thing without considering all the options. It's an obsession of sorts, when you focus too heavily on one person, one love, one issue, one solution, one problem, one way out.

Tunnel vision is a way that you sabotage yourself by over focusing on one detail of whatever it is you're focused on to detriment of all the other potentialities. Over-focusing on one thing can cause you to make mistakes in judgment.

If you were mistreated or abused as a child, you may have the tendency to become over-involved, emotionally over-invested in people and outcomes that healthy people can easily get over. Children who are maltreated get triggered into "fight or flight" mode easily. When the human body is in fight or flight mode, the mind becomes intensely focused on the thing that is a potential source of danger. The brain doesn't give up this fight or flight mechanism easily. As an adult, you carry the wounds of childhood with you, and this can include becoming triggered and over concerned about things that are not in your control.

Tunnel vision is when you focus on things outside of your control in an obsessive-fashion, to the detriment of all your options. You feel like this or that HAS TO HAPPEN in order for you to feel good, safe or secure... so you focus all your energies on this one thing while forgetting who you really are, and many times forgetting what other things are really important to you.

Tunnel vision can be considered to be a cognitive bias as well, when one focuses only one the negative of the situation while ignoring all the positives. It is the process of focusing on only one thing instead of remaining open minded. Paying too much attention to the details of a scenario you want to happen in your life, while not considering the big picture.

In the legal world of the judge and jury, tunnel vision is said to distort the perception of the evidence. It's a term for when the legal system distorts the evidence to suit their original leanings.

It's important that you remove your defenses and to keep the big picture in view when dealing with your own life. You don't want to limit yourself by thinking, feeling and acting on limited data--you want to operate from reality--which includes a multitude of options.

Many times what we think HAS TO HAPPEN is not what life has in store for us. We don't know the future, we can't say definitively what is the best path for us. We have to trust that life is unfolding precisely the way that it should and take our minds off the obsessions of what we think needs to happen, and be open to all the things in the world that may be ours.

Tunnel vision can get you stuck, and lead you away from your Highest Good. Take a step back, a deep breath and a broad view if you want to experience all that life has to offer. There are many roads to happiness... let yours unfold naturally with your eyes wide open.

When Vision Becomes Tunnel Vision - Psychology Today

Sometimes our minds are limited to seeing and understanding what our greatest outcome can be so we become resistant to any other way than how we see it. When we let go of attachments to an outcome, we allow room for things to unfold far beyond what we could have ever imagined it to be. Let go and allow the best to flow. 
-Kat Zaghi

Should You Vent Your Frustrations?

6 Virtues and 6 Vices of Venting - Love this article on Psychology today. Decided to save it here so I can read it again a few times, and also so my friends can read it too.

Friday, April 11, 2014

People Around You

As you raise your level of experience to a higher level of expectation, you will notice that certain people can't remain in your presence. If someone is negative and plays the victim and you're positive with a can-do attitude, you two are going to clash. If a person is envious of you and wants to see you fall, they're going to have a hard time with you loving yourself and going higher... They'll bounce.  The people in your life are those you are in sync with... They're there because you're keeping them there with your thoughts, feelings, beliefs and actions. If you have someone close to you who is not good for you, then that means there is something in you that thinks you deserve it. Maybe they are there to teach you something--show you something you need to know about yourself. As you go higher you will begin to repel those on lower levels and attract those on higher levels. Those who want you to fail are replaced by those who are secure in themselves and know that there is enough good for us all.

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Try Easy

Like attracts like. If you're struggling, you attract struggle. If you're anxious, you attract more anxiety. If you're worried, you bring onto yourself the very things you're worried about. Energy follows intention. What you focus on is what you bring into your life. The key is getting to the place of EASE. Ease, relaxation, comfort, joy, bliss. It is from this high-flying place that you allow the things you want to happen. It's from your place of elation that you attract more of the same. It's okay to spend money on yourself. It's okay to enjoy the fruits of your labors. It's okay to buy nice things. The feeling you gain from the energy that is generated propels you to even greater feelings of contentment and success. The key is to do whatever it takes to GET OUT of the place of struggle, worry, anxiety and striving and GET INTO the place of ease, comfort and relaxed confidence. That's where the magic happens. You've got to feel it first--then it comes into being.

Summary of Abraham Hicks teachings 

Sunday, April 6, 2014

Anatomy of a Hater: How to Spot People Who Are Jealous of You

It's been said that, "Success breeds success," and this is certainly true. However, there's another side of success that is not talked about as often but occurs just as much and that is....Success also breeds resentment and jealousy.

As you rise in life and elevate your game, it's important to remember that no matter how well-intentioned, helpful or pleasant you are that there are some people who won't want to see you shine. In fact they are hoping to see you fall. So much so that they will try to dismiss you, diminish your achievements, pretend they don't see you rising, assassinate your character, discredit you, talk about you behind your back, use innuendos and sarcasm to try to get at you or attempt to eat from your plate without putting in the work to make the meal.

A jealous person won't come out and tell you that they are jealous of you, nor will they admit it to anyone else. Why? Their pride and ego won't allow it. Instead their jealousy will show up in the form of resentment, subtle put downs, constant criticism, open hostility, imitation, gossiping, playing down your accomplishments, an insatiable need to try and one-up you, not inviting you to certain events for fear that you will outshine them, not wanting you to come around their other friends for fear that their friends may actually see that you are a stand up kind of person and want to become your friend too, waiting on the sidelines wishing for your demise and last but not least...kicking you when you fall.

Jealousy comes in many forms. Sometimes a person will be jealous of your success or accomplishments, your persistence in pursuing your dreams, your charisma, your happiness and peace of mind, your faith walk, your strength, looks, resources, business savvy, your influence, your marriage, your family relationships, network of people you know or your ability to bounce back from adversity. And jealous people can exist everywhere - at work, in church, within your family, with your friends and even within your online social networks. See the thing is, when you have a deeper sense of self-esteem, resilience and purpose, it can intimidate others and cause them to resent you, often without even knowing why. Be that as it may, you cannot allow other people's issues with you to cause you to play your life small.

Jealousy is like a parasite. Once you allow it into your space it literally sucks the life right out of you. This is why it is key that the moment you encounter jealousy you cut it off at the head. Don't give jealous people any room in your life to impact you, any space in your head to discourage you or any power to rob you of your peace, purpose or destiny. Simply hold your head up high and continue to do you.

Whether you are dealing with a person who is ignorant, insecure, malicious or miserable, the best thing that you can do when a jealous person comes your way is to put as much distance as possible between you and that person. You cannot afford to allow jealous people to block your blessings and rain on your parade. An overtly jealous person can be easily identified, as he will single you out for competition in any and every endeavor you undertake. What is more dangerous is the covert jealous person who smiles in your face while shoving an ice pick in your back. This kind of person sits back and waits for the opportune time to badmouth you on the low or set up traps to trip you up along the way.

Saturday, April 5, 2014

Make Mistakes

The knowledge gained from making mistakes is invaluable. Too often people allow mistakes to catapult them in the opposite direction--away from original intent. What a waste!!! That's like giving up right before you strike oil. Pride. Ego. Perfectionism. It is in the MISTAKE that wisdom is born. That's how you get better at anything. It's in trying, trying and failing, failing that progress is made. Diligence. Endurance. Tenacity. Get your a** back out there. Make mistakes, don't let your mistakes make you.

(c) Jenna Ryan 2014

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Dignity in Dating

“Men use a formula to assign value to the women in their lives and a large part of that formula is derived from how much we believe that woman values herself. If you’ve been giving us all of you while requiring nothing more than our bare minimum then that negatively affects how much we believe you value yourself and we know in our heart we can never be with you. No matter how much we want to, we can’t build up the motivation to give you everything if we know you’ve been content with us giving you barely anything. We need to be challenged, we need to know that you’ll accept nothing less than everything.” - The Emotionally Unavailable Man