The Language of Feelings (Video)

How to Meditate to Connect with Your Core Self [SelfLoveU Video]

Feelings, heart, somatic experiencing, integration, mindfulness, breath, pain, release, growth, healing, love, present moment, presence, higher self, truth, core, wounded self, body scan, hypnosis, relaxation, wounded child, trauma recovery, child abuse recovery, codependency, addictions, relax, freedom, spaciousness, release, emotional pain, wounds, abuse recovery, chakra, heart, heartmath

Core Wounds

Core wounds are wounds that occurred in childhood. These are wounds that happen when one is not tended to properly as a child through neglect, abuse or maltreatment. Parents can damage the core essence of their children without even knowing it. Some caretakers are deficit in their own needs and are unable to give to their child. In fact, the way our culture raises children leads to much core wounding among us all. Everyone has core wounds at some level--some have it worse than others.

The core wound is experienced as deep-level pain due to some unmet childhood development need.  This pain is triggered in current day situations when you encounter a similar situation or dynamic. It's the deep stuff that surfaces when you face difficult losses in life. It's the pain that is beneath the pain. The emotion that's fueling all emotions. It's the pain that drives one to drink, smoke, take drugs, gamble, shop or addictive relationships.

Core wounds include rejection, abandonment, betrayal, loss, injustice and the like. When our needs are not met as children, we experience the core wound and we experience toxic shame. We believe that because we were rejected or abandoned or that we lost a parent or a friend, that we are bad. We turn the external maltreatment internal and onto ourselves. The wound produces beliefs. These beliefs are what perpetuate the wound over and over and over until we die or the wound is healed.


People do anything to avoid their core wounds. Core wounds are the lie that says:

"You're not good enough."
"You're incompetent."
"Nobody loves you."
"You are worthless."

These voices in both your subconscious and conscious mind repeat over and over in myriad ways throughout your life unless they are healed. You will find yourself getting into scenarios again and again that prove your false beliefs to be true. Your core wounds are the fuel for false beliefs.

Healing the core wounds takes a lot of devastating work; much personal destruction and rebuilding. It is a painful process, but in the healing you find pieces of yourself you didn't know you needed. In the center of the core wound you find the parts of yourself that you needed in order to discontinue the wounding. These parts of you are frozen, blocked in a centrifuge of pain, shame, anger, rage, humiliation, rejection and self-hatred. This wound perpetuates itself like a cancer through your body, heart, soul and mind. This wound effects your perceptions, feelings, behaviors and life. The thing you need to protect you against this core wounding is located at the very center of the pain. The key to setting you free is found at the center of the wound. If you want healing, you have to go into the eye of the storm.

100 Elements of Intimacy

Months ago I wrote the article, 100 Things Intimacy Is Not. At the time, I was just learning, growing and improving and quite frankly, I couldn't have written the article you're about to read. This article is especially good if you've wondered what this love stuff was all about... and if you're interested in learning what intimacy is from a clueless person's perspective.

You see, that's what I was. Clueless. Love doesn't come easily for some people--okay, for most people. It took me a long time to get it.. First I had to simmer in caldron of "what intimacy is not" for a few years... Now, after much study, experience and soul searching, I'm happy to say, I'm finally figuring out what intimacy is. Woo Hoo! One small step for mankind.

Hope it helps you. Wish there would have been an article like this for me to read a long time ago... It would have saved me a lot of heartache. Oh well, better late than never. Smooches!

100 Elements of Intimacy (100 Things That Intimacy Is)

1. Intimacy is the communication of authentic thoughts and feelings among two people. (Can be more, but we're focusing on two today)

2. Intimacy is the ability to disagree without being judged.

3. Intimacy is compassion for one another.

4. Intimacy is seeing the other as a separate person, not as an object.

5. Intimacy is being autonomous in relationship.

6. Intimacy is the ability to be vulnerable without shame.

7. Intimacy is acceptance of each other.

8. Intimacy is mentalization of the affects of yourself and the other.

9. Intimacy is emotional regulation (emotional self control).

10. Intimacy is not needing the other to make you feel any certain way.

11. Intimacy is a desire for the other to experience being heard.

12. Intimacy is reflecting how another is feeling.

13. Intimacy is sharing how you are feeling with another.

14. Intimacy is the human glue that bonds people together.

15. Intimacy is about being your true self, not someone you think your partner wants you to be.

16. Intimacy is not being afraid to admit your imperfections.

17. Intimacy is not being afraid of the reflection you see in your partner.

18. Intimacy is seeing the best in your partner.

19. Intimacy is trusting.

20. Intimacy is closeness.

21. Intimacy is not afraid to admit mistakes.

22. Intimacy is taking responsibility for your own needs.

23. Intimacy is asking for what you need without being attached to the outcome.

24. Intimacy is having a high enough self esteem to take risks.

25. Intimacy is about feelings, sharing, expressing, validating, understanding.

26. Intimacy is free from psychological defenses like denial, repression and projection.

27. Intimacy is the wisdom to see things as they really are, not as you want things to be.

28. Intimacy is the absence of resistance.

29. Intimacy is the courage to be known, even with all your flaws.

30. Intimacy is relaxing, even when you want to run away.

31. Intimacy is only possible for the emotionally mature.

32. Intimacy is not blaming yourself or the other person when things go wrong as things sometimes do.

33. Intimacy is being a mirror of your partners feelings.

34. Intimacy is about being able to share feelings that are both good and bad.

35. Intimacy is about considering the other person.

36. Intimacy is about self nurture, self care as well as other nurture and other care.

37. Intimacy is what first happens between a properly attached mother and infant.

38. Intimacy requires total honesty.

39. Intimacy promotes the individuality of both parties.

40. Intimacy heals the heart of painful past problems.

41. Intimacy fulfills each person an makes one whole.

42. Intimacy is clarifying what you think the other person is feeling.

43. Intimacy is taking the time to share your feelings with each other.

44. Intimacy is expressing your truth without waivering.

45. Intimacy is being able to tolerate the anxiety, fear of abandonment.

46. Intimacy is feeling the fear and doing it anyway.

47. Intimacy is possible only with a securely attached heart.

48. Intimacy takes work to maintain.

49. Intimacy is raw honesty with another human being.

50. Intimacy is the unfolding of humanity in the container of relationship.

51. Intimacy is respect for self and respect for the other.

52. Intimacy is equality for each person in the relationship.

53. Intimacy is apologizing for wrongs.

54. Intimacy is in facing barriers to deeper connection and making corrections.

55. Intimacy is forgiveness.

56. Intimacy is standing in the fire, strong enough not to be burned.

57. Intimacy is skill.

58. Intimacy is strength of character, personality and heart.

59. Intimacy is remembering that there are two sides to every story.

60. Intimacy is openness to life as it comes, not how you want it to be.

61. Intimacy is the ability to cope well with uncertainty.

62. Intimacy is spontaneous, real time engagement.

63. Intimacy is about growing internally and fostering growth of your partner in all ways.

64. Intimacy is wanting the best for each other, however that plays out.

65. Intimacy is nonjudgmental, open, honest and accepting.

66. Intimacy gives space for individual growth.

67. Intimacy is preferring one another.

68. Intimacy is seeing your partner's happiness as more important than your own.

69. Intimacy is having strong boundaries.

70. Intimacy requires a solid, secure self identity.

71. Intimacy is overlooking negative emotions in your partner and helping them through it.

72. Intimacy shows us that what we see in the other good or bad is actually what we harbor within ourselves.

73. Intimacy is dancing in step, being in sync, on the same page--attunement.

74. Intimacy is patience.

75. Intimacy is taking care of your own neediness and not expecting your partner to help.

76. Intimacy is most like unconditional love.

77. Intimacy is staying in the present moment.

78. Intimacy is not projecting your negative self views onto the other person.

79. Intimacy is bouncing back quickly after a disagreement.

80. Intimacy is being secure enough to mend ruptures to the relationship.

81. Intimacy is trusting the other person is doing you right.

82. Intimacy is not walking out on a fight.

83. Intimacy is holding the other tightly, and letting go freely.

84. Intimacy is detachment from needing one another to be any way other than who they are.

85. Intimacy is not looking for flaws, faults or mistakes.

86. Intimacy is believing in your partner and trusting they can work through their issues.

87. Intimacy is a cushion in a rough world.

88. Intimacy is an emotionally safe place where you are loved and supported.

89. Intimacy seeks to understand before trying to be understood.

90. Intimacy listens with empathy and heart.

91. Intimacy is a balance between autonomy and togetherness.

92. Intimacy is being real--not playing games or sticking to certain roles.

93. Intimacy is tolerant of frustration.

94. Intimacy is not keeping score.

95. Intimacy is expressing feelings of hurt, sadness, confusion to one another to avoid a build up of resentment.

96. Intimacy is taking care of yourself so you can give your attention to the other instead of spending energy trying to get something that you need.

97. Intimacy is knowing you are worthy of love.

98. Intimacy is maintaining ethical relations with one another.

99. Intimacy allows abundance to flow.

100. Intimacy requires that you love your own life.

Read this article too...
100 Things Intimacy is Not

What is intimacy?
How to have intimacy.
Intimacy issues.
Relationships
Improve Intimacy
Intimacy in marriage
Attachment, Attached
Connections
Fear of Intimacy 

Feel it to Heal It

Don't be afraid of the pain. Avoiding the pain in your heart does nothing but delay the inevitable. You are stronger than you think you are, and the pain is not as devastating as you think it is. If you'll just take the time to sit with yourself, to nurture yourself through the pain, you will find the most beautiful truth that is banging on the door of your heart. The pain you feel is a knock. Knock. Knock. There is something you should know. Something that will help you overcome. Something brilliant, beautiful and true on the other side of pain. Don't run. Don't hide. Don't medicate. Just accept, love yourself and allow yourself to be. It's your thoughts about the pain that make it so scary. Change your thoughts and embrace where you are--and things that were once really hard for you will become your greatest triumphs. Jenna Ryan

Life is a Classroom

By Jenna Ryan February 25, 2014

Life is a classroom where we learn to be who we are--extensions of the divine, of great love and awesome power to move mountains. ~ Jenna Ryan

Knowing is present tense. Faith is knowing even before manifestation. "Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen". Hebrews 11:1 Faith (believing before manifestation) is your power to create on this planet. 

Problems are distractions from the knowledge of your full power as the creator of your life. Strength comes by focusing your faith/power and overcoming obstacles. You have everything you need to fly RIGHT NOW. You're not missing a thing. You must only realize your power to make your own life happen. Lift off. You are pure potential. 

YOU. YOU. YOU are a vessel of power, a wellspring of answers, a universe of expansion lies within you. Go inside.

The understanding of the power of your thoughts is like fire, then electricity... You have untapped power inside of you.

Finding the right thought and holding it steady is like a treasure hunt leading to your destiny. #dotjenna #original 

That which to hate expands that which to love. Evil expands good. Death expands life.

As life has seasons, so does the spirit. As life has ages, so does the spirit. Divisions amongst God expands that which to love.

You were created to tap into the divine within and pour out its riches to the younger ones.

The way to fulfill your burning desires is not the way you think. No. It will take different thought--that you must find--to get there.

Whenever you are ready, your suddenly will come.

Your faith is your power to move mountains and manifest the truth of who you are, that burning desire in your heart.


You can spread your wings and fly right now simply by choosing to do so. You can choose the feeling & lightness as you soar to your dreams.

YOU can spread your wings and fly right now. Contrary to what you think, you don't have to go back to the beginning & get what you missed.

If you don't think it's holding you back, it's not. If you think it's holding you back, it is. So STOP IT.

Whatever you feel is holding you back is only holding you back because you feel it. Dismiss the notion and watch the obstacle melt away.

You are the very heartbeat of God.

Whatever obstacle you face, whatever thorn in your side is the weight which builds strength for fulfilling the purpose of your life.

Faith is knowing before seeing, feeling before being and believing before manifesting. ~ Jenna Ryan

FAITH is knowing BEFORE it reaches the 5 senses. Belief that moves mountains occurs in the realm of power that you can't see, taste, touch, hear, smell--yet...  




Mastery of the realm of possibility is the main purpose of life, tapping into the divine & expanding its power by faith unto manifestation.

Whatever you were born to carry out will require that you take the leap from the here, now and into the realm of possibility.

The burning desire in your heart to be more, do more, see more is a divine purpose that you were born to carry out.

Obstacles in your way represent the divide between what you see today and what is truly possible for your life if you raise your expectation

The leap of faith required to reach your dreams is a vast divide between knowing what you see now, and believing in your own power to create

Your dreams lie on the other side of knowing that you have the power to foster beliefs that align with your wishes to usher you in.

The bridge from feeling to knowing is the pathway to the divine, owning the power that lies within to create a life that you dreamed up.

If you want to feel the satisfaction of the manifestation of your heart's desire, you must know it before it comes to past.

Satisfaction is the feeling that comes when you experience your heart's desire. To reach for your hearts desire, you must only line up with the FEELING of satisfaction BY FAITH. 

Satisfaction is a feeling that comes from seeing the evidence before it manifests.

Feeling is reaching, knowing is grasping. You feel your way to knowing.

Faith is the feeling before knowing.

Knowing is present tense. Faith is knowing even before manifestation.

You FEEL loving another because you can't get out of yourself and truly know the other. (Not in the actual sense), but you KNOW their love.

How does it feel to be loved? You don't feel it. You know it.

FEELING leads to knowing. 

Feeling is on the path to knowing. #dotjenna #original

Knowing is the solid form of feeling.

Life is a classroom that teaches the willing who you are, and the power that lies hidden within. You must seek it to find it. Find it by searching for the right thoughts, feelings and beliefs.

You Create the World You Live In

I found this on the instagram of a really amazing Yogi. yoga_girl - Funny thing is, it is my thoughts almost exactly... It's what I wanted to say, she said it now so I don't have to. This is true!!! 

Keys to Having a Good Life

You create the world you live in. The people you encounter on your path are there not by chance, but because you brought them to you. The experiences you are having and the situations you are facing are here because you made it so. You are a powerful being with the possibility to manifest anything you like, but most of us do this unconsciously. (I say, by default because we don't realize our own power...)

Depending on what you focus your thoughts and your energy on, your life situation will change - for better or for worse. What does your life look like right now? Are you at peace and content with where you are? Are you manifesting a life of love? Or are you manifesting a life of fear? By becoming aware of your thoughts and realizing the power you have over your life situation, you can start to manifest good instead of bad. 

Focus on what you want to create instead of what you lack. It's very logical - by thinking negative thoughts (I am not good enough/I don't have enough/I am unhappy) you will have a negative outlook on life, thus attracting more negative experiences into your space. It's a viscous cycle, and you need to stop it right away. Begin from where you are. 

 There is beauty in your life. Connect to it. Be positive and grateful for the blessings you have. Be here. Don't dwell in the past. Stop thinking in terms of "should have" "could have" or "it would have been better if" - You are where you are! You cannot change what was in the past. Why focus on something you cannot possibly do anything about? What you can do, however, is change your present. It's here, where you are. This is it. Life is now. 

Change your life situation by being compassionate, by staying positive, by forgiving, by focusing on love and light and space and gratitude and abundance and happiness. What you direct your energy towards, you attract more of. Meditate on the magical, breathtaking beauty of the world and soon that magic will be part of your everyday life. So. 

What are you manifesting today?

You Can't Flow if You're Frozen

Walking by a fountain today in McKinney, Texas, I saw this 1/2 frozen fountain. This thought hit me:

You can't flow if you're frozen.

I wondered what this fountain was signaling to me for my life. In a way, it is an answer to a question that I've been asking. What blocks me from allowing goodness to flow into my life???

It's true! You can't allow good things to come into your life if you're operating system is plagued by false beliefs that are out of alignment with the truth of who you are or still left over from your past. You can't receive the goodness that life has to offer if you are carrying frozen feelings that you have yet to face.

If you have frozen feelings stuck in your heart's chambers, then the fountain of your life cannot express its full potential. The outflow of love, grace, beauty, mercy, peace, joy will be distorted, much like the photo of the partially frozen fountain to the right. 

You see, you are responsible for what is coming to you. If you like how your life is--I mean, really feel incredible peace, joy, contentment and elation--then you are in the right place. If you feel that you're in a struggle to get the results that you want and to feel good inside, then your negative emotions are a signal. Negative emotions are an indicator that something in your belief system is out-of-alignment with your truth. You've got some junk in your trunk.

So the key is to allow your feelings to thaw out and release the energy of the past that is blocking the goodness from flowing in your life. Blocking you from giving. Blocking you from receiving. Distorting your view of reality. Distorting your view of yourself.

If you want to live, truly live, then you must thaw out. Let yourself heal.

 * * * * *  * * * * *  * * * * *  * * * * *  * * * * *  * * * * *  * * * * *  * * * * *  * * * * *  * * * * *

Here's a piece that sums it up well: 

When emotions go unexpressed, they freeze in time. What this means is that we often respond to a present day situation with a backlog of stored frozen emotions from our past. This is inappropriate, obviously, but that doesn't mean the emotions are lying. All it means is that in order to be able to respond and feel truly in the present with all of our resources, we need to heal all the old trapped, frozen emotions we have locked up in the attic. 

Our Pathway Home - Lies About Feelings

The Winning Feeling

Your mind can't tell the difference between imagination and reality. Visualizing that you're winning in every area programs your mind to win. Getting into the ZONE and staying in the ZONE as much as possible day and night is an ideal goal for living a happier life, and completely within your grasp.

This ZONE is nothing more than a place where you FEEL GOOD. It's a place where YOU WIN. The ZONE is the place where you have that WINNING FEELING. 

You can program your mind to experience that WINNING FEELING every day of your life, and overcome every obstacle with ease. In fact, if you wish to get ahead in any area of your life, you MUST cultivate a higher, more positive mindset, which includes beliefs, thoughts, emotions which lead to positive action. 

I've been learning by listening to Abraham Hicks, that when you FEEL GOOD you attract more situations into your life that feel good. You are a vibrational being. The energy that you give off is what you get back, every time. If you feel that you are a winner, you will win naturally. If you feel depressed and unworthy, you will fail naturally. There is no way around it. You must cultivate a higher vibration, that is a higher level of feelings if you want to pull yourself up from the feelings of unworthiness to that of a capable human being who wins at everything you do.

Biofeedback research on athletes tells us that their brain cannot tell the difference between actually playing a winning game or imagining they are winning  game.

6 Steps to Creating that Winning Feeling 

1. Recall previous experiences of having that winning feeling.

It doesn't matter how small the winning feeling was. Keep a journal entry of every winning feeling you encounter. Keep notes of when you were blissfully happy, winning in your life. This may just be a passing moment, or it may be a huge victory. Keep these thoughts and especially FEELINGS at the forefront of your mind every day. Those feelings need to be cultivated all the time in your life. Stay in the ZONE. 

2. Apply that feeling to the present moment or some future activity.
3. Suppose it will happen.
4. Use negative emotion as a challenge & substitute negative emotion for positive.
Program your mind (like Pavlov's dogs) to associate a negative feeling with a positive one.  Your mind is like a computer. If you provide it with a different program, it will execute a different routine.
5.  

  

You Create Your Own Reality

If you don't know that you are the creator of your own reality, that you are the director (and actor) in your own personal movie called "Your Life, then you go into default, where life just gives you the negative crap you think about.

Theory of Mind

Dr. Dan Siegel- On Integrating the Two Hemispheres of Our Brains

I Do Not Like Green Eggs & Ham

I just had an epiphany as to what this book is really all about. This Dr. Seuss classic, "Green Eggs & Ham" symbolizes the right of every free human being to choose what they like or what they don't like. Growing up as a kid, I was unable to express my likes and my dislikes. I had to like everything that my stepfather gave to me, even if it was crumbs. I had to pretend to like stuff I really didn't like at all. When you grow up without owning your truth, your preferences, likes, wants and even needs get lost somewhere inside your own heart. You lose connection with yourself.

Part of my healing involves re-connecting with my inner truth. Figuring out my likes and dislikes, and being able to stand firm in my own feelings. It's not about caving to the desires of others, but about sticking to your own desires and learning to fight for your own happiness. Good parenting teaches a child that her desires are important. What she wants is important. She doesn't have to just "take what you give her and like it," but that she can ask for something else. She's allowed to protest. She's allowed to dislike.

It may sound simple to some people, but getting in touch with your likes and dislikes within the context of human relationship can be hard if you were not allowed to express your preferences in childhood. If you can't express what you like and what you do not, things get silly. You end up accepting things that are in nowise good for you, and you end up being hurt. A healthy person can assertively expresses when he doesn't like something and is able to stand by that conviction regardless of opposition.

Unfortunately, the book takes a turn for compliance in that the Cat ends up trying the Green Eggs and Ham and liking it. So the moral of the story is not the right to own up to your likes and dislikes, but rather, not to dislike something you've never tried. Oh well. For me and my life, I'll take the first half of the book. It's okay not to like something, it's okay to stick to your truth, it's okay to express your preferences. Be who you are and don't let anyone change you--unless you want to change.

I am Sam

I am Sam
Sam I am

That Sam-I-am
That Sam-I-am!
I do not like
that Sam-I-am

Do you like
green eggs and ham

I do not like them,
Sam-I-am.
I do not like
green eggs and ham.

Would you like them
Here or there?

I would not like them
here or there.
I would not like them
anywhere.
I do not like
green eggs and ham.
I do not like them,
Sam-I-am

Would you like them
in a house?
Would you like them
with a mouse?

I do not like them
in a house.
I do not like them
with a mouse.
I do not like them
here or there.
I do not like them
anywhere.
I do not like green eggs and ham.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.


Would you eat them
in a box?
Would you eat them
with a fox?

Not in a box.
Not with a fox.
Not in a house.
Not with a mouse.
I would not eat them here or there.
I would not eat them anywhere.
I would not eat green eggs and ham.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.

Would you? Could you?
in a car?
Eat them! Eat them!
Here they are.

I woould not ,
could not,
in a car

You may like them.
You will see.
You may like them
in a tree?
d not in a tree.
I would not, could not in a tree.
Not in a car! You let me be.

I do not like them in a box.
I do not like them with a fox
I do not like them in a house
I do mot like them with a mouse
I do not like them here or there.
I do not like them anywhere.
I do not like green eggs and ham.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.

A train! A train!
A train! A train!
Could you, would you
on a train?

Not on a train! Not in a tree!
Not in a car! Sam! Let me be!
I would not, could not, in a box.
I could not, would not, with a fox.
I will not eat them with a mouse
I will not eat them in a house.
I will not eat them here or there.
I will not eat them anywhere.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.


Say!
In the dark?
Here in the dark!
Would you, could you, in the dark?

I would not, could not,
in the dark.

Would you, could you,
in the rain?

I would not, could not, in the rain.
Not in the dark. Not on a train,
Not in a car, Not in a tree.
I do not like them, Sam, you see.
Not in a house. Not in a box.
Not with a mouse. Not with a fox.
I will not eat them here or there.
I do not like them anywhere!

You do not like
green eggs and ham?

I do not
like them,
Sam-I-am.

Could you, would you,
with a goat?

I would not,
could not.
with a goat!

Would you, could you,
on a boat?

I could not, would not, on a boat.
I will not, will not, with a goat.
I will not eat them in the rain.
I will not eat them on a train.
Not in the dark! Not in a tree!
Not in a car! You let me be!
I do not like them in a box.
I do not like them with a fox.
I will not eat them in a house.
I do not like them with a mouse.
I do not like them here or there.
I do not like them ANYWHERE!

I do not like
green egss
and ham!

I do not like them,
Sam-I-am.

Your Own Happiness

By Jenna Ryan

You and me--we--are responsible for our own happiness. It's easy to get things confused. Our culture tells us that people, places and things are the source of our joy, our bliss and our happiness. The truth is hard to find, yet so simple. Each of us are responsible for our own happiness. Just like you can't love or be loved if you don't love yourself, no one can make you happy if you don't create your own happiness.

We all have choices. Sometimes it may feel like we have no choice but to be sad, and in some instances it's okay to be sad. Pain is a part of life. Ultimately, however, it is up to you to build your own happiness. You can't find it safely and securely outside of yourself. You yourself must plant and cultivate happiness in your own life and heart.

How do you do it? This is your responsibility, my responsibility, each of us is on this earth to understand the meaning of true happiness, peace, love, bliss and fulfillment. We are born dependent, but when we leave this earth, if we are to be mature and complete butterflies, we should have learned to recreate within our own hearts feelings of fulness and completeness to the extent that we are free.

Happiness is an inside job. :)

What Mindfulness Is to Me

Mindfulness has helped me a great deal in my healing from issues in my life. It is through mindfulness that I figured out who I was, and organized my identity. Mindfulness to me is not the same as it is on all the Zen blogs and new age websites. Mindfulness to me is about being aware of my present state of mind, feelings, emotions, physical sensations, thoughts and intuition. Mindfulness is about being open and connected within myself. I can't tell you all the benefits I've gained from this practice! Mindfulness has been one of the most important tools for my healing and personal growth.

When I'm talking about Mindfulness, I'm talking about several things, so I'll try to describe here. First, Mindfulness to me means awareness. Awareness of everything, such as:

• How I'm feeling
• How my body feels when I feel this way
• Where the pain is
• Where the joy is
• What I'm thinking
• What I'm doing
• How others are responding to me
• Where my emotion at any given moment is residing in my physical body
• What I'm telling myself about certain situations
• My inner critic, internal judgments
• My needs, wants & desires
• My best interests overall
• Anxiety, Fear, Panic, Negative emotions
• Happiness, Joy, Bliss, Positive emotions
• Substitutes for feelings
• Addictive Behaviors, Habits, Patterns
• Relating with others
• Intuition
• Internal Warning Sensors  
• Cognitive distortions
• Internal contradictions

Mindfulness for me goes a step beyond awareness, to the realm of trust. Trusting in these sensations, feelings and intuitions of myself... Mindfulness helps me to establish a foundation of trust, security and belief in who I am, what I need and my right to be, feel, know and do at any given moment. Mindfulness is my core-root of beingness, the seat of my soul, the wise part of me that watches and rules (whenever possible) over my cognitions, beliefs and feelings.

Mindfulness to me is an internal guidance system that I need to stay tapped-into if I am to operate my life in my own best interest, which in effect, serves the best interest of others. It was only once I learned to be the "observer" of myself that I was able to comprehend who I am, how I feel about specific experiences, and how to guide myself toward my highest good. It's a learning process. I'm still growing...

The practice of Mindfulness helped me discover who I am. I did not know who I was until I started being mindful, paying attention and focusing on my feelings, thoughts and bodily sensations. The more in tune I am with my internal workings, the better I am able to function effectively and keep myself intact in face of emotional harm.

If you are raised in an abusive environment, one that is invalidating to your soul, you may not be connected to the internal guide within your heart. This was me. I was detached from who I was because my feelings and sense of self respect were not validated and fostered in me as a child. It was only after I learned to TRUST my own internal sensations that I was able to operate effectively and to protect myself from boundary violations. Learning to trust myself also helped me to know what I needed and to get my needs met.

You Already Have It

The peace you want, the joy you want, the contentment you want, the attention you want, the affection you want, the love you want--you already have it. It's all inside of you. If you've ever had the ability to feel blissfully in love, that feeling is still inside of you. If you've ever had the the experience of feeling utterly safe and content, you still have that too--on the inside of you. Every feeling, every state, every way you want to feel is inside of you...

You don't have to wait for the perfect circumstances to tap into these feelings within your heart. The only reason you are not experiencing ultimate bliss is because you've told yourself you can't have it. You've put restrictions on these feelings, exalting some outside accoutrements and denigrating others.

Sure, certain things in our lives bring great joy, peace and satisfaction, such as success and intimacy, but the feelings that such states invoke are inside of you and in your control. You can tap into such feelings if you free your mind to experience what you want RIGHT NOW.

Everything is a projection. The manifestation of our lives is a projection of what we allow. Our mindset, beliefs and thoughts frame our world. We assign value to different states and occurrences. If we want to tap into blissful feelings today, we must only change what we tell ourselves about the values of external forces. We can learn to be joyous in everything, even in our trials. After all, we are in control of our thoughts, and we are in control of the values we place on the input.

Facing reality is paramount. Much dissatisfaction comes from wishing things are different. Reality is what it is, we can't control it. We can, however, control how we react to it, and when we change ourselves to appreciate what is, we can also assign value to that which is. We have control of what's inside of us.

When we live peacefully, hopefully and gratefully in our present reality, things around us WILL start to change. Our vibrational patterns, or level of faith rises when we are free from discontent. As our energy rises to higher levels of knowing, we begin to attract things in our life that match where we are, almost as if by magic.

Your life is where it is because of what you're telling yourself about reality. You tell yourself you must have this or that in order to be happy, so you stay sad today. When you live like this, all the Universe brings to you is more of the same sadness. It brings you what you want, and obviously if you're telling yourself your sad because you don't have what you want, then sadness is what you're choosing. We choose our external circumstances by the thoughts and subsequent feelings we have about our existing situation. Be sure to *Think Up* to *Rise Up* to the next level.

You have everything you need to live the life you've always dreamed of... the only problem is getting out of your own way, using insight to see where you're drawing negativity to yourself with your thoughts. It's time to be free of all the conditioning of negative nay-sayers. You are in control, your perception is your reality. You create your world and choose how to think and feel.

Realize your power. Realize who you are. No, it's not easy to face reality, but the sooner you do, the sooner you can master yourself and create your own existence. Everything you want, everything you need, everything you ever wanted is already on the inside of you. You create your world. You are creating your world right now! Take time to gain insight as to how your thoughts, and your understanding of how you control your thoughts make or break your life. You are in control. You create your reality.

It's Nothing Personal

It is not your fault when someone treats you badly. If someone rejects you, dishonors you, ignores you, yells at you, abuses you, abandons you or puts you down it has NOTHING to do with you.

“We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are.”

― Anaïs Nin

If you have a wounded heart, you may have a tendency to put people on pedestals, to idealize them and feel as though they're better than you. You may also try to get other people to fill in the blank spaces of your life, to give you worth where you feel like you have none. Then, when your "idol" devalues you or refuses to reciprocate your affection, you take it personally thinking that it's your fault he or she isn't good to you. You feel like you're bad and worthless just because the one you idolize isn't treating you right.

This simply is not true!

We are our reality, it's all a projection from within, so we see things as we are. What we don't like in us we will project in others in order to criticize them, to reject them, instead of dealing with it within us, but until we do it, we will not really know ourselves.

~ Paulo Renato ~

Healthy people with high self esteem are generally good to others. They don't go around devaluing people, they are open not closed, accepting and not rejecting. When you encounter someone who is selfish, rude and grandiose, it is not your fault. It does not mean you deserve it. You can't help the fact that she is a jerk! You can't control people that much!  Rude people exist. Hurting people hurt people. Just because you come across a hurting person who treats you badly and breaks your heart doesn't mean that you deserve it.

• It has nothing to do with your forehead wrinkles.
• It has nothing to do with your unkempt car.
• It has nothing to do with your muffin top.
• It has nothing to do with the fact that you're older.
• It has nothing to do with your style.
• It has nothing to do with your weight.
• It has nothing to do with your freckles.

So often when we are rejected or hurt by another, we think it's something specific in us that is unlovable. We think (hopefully we snap out of it fast) that we need to mold ourselves into being what the hurtful person needs so as to be found worthy in their eyes. If we are found worthy by this person we idealize, then we mistakenly think we'll be worthy ourselves. Maybe if we go on a diet, do more yoga, wear higher heels, maybe then he will love me, be nice to me and see how valuable I am.

Hogwash!

Not only do we take it personally by thinking we are inherently flawed, but we also try to control the other person's perception of who we are by changing ourselves to suit what we think they want. This is the ultimate betrayal of self. You give yourself away and abandon who you are when you try to control others by changing into what you think they want you to be.

READ MY LIPS: It's not personal! It is not your fault. You're not too fat because someone doesn't love you. You're not rejected because you have a beer belly. Even if someone says that to you, the problem is inside their own heart, and they're just using superficial reasons as justification to abuse you. Trying to change yourself to make another person start treating you right is overstepping your boundaries. It simply cannot be done. You don't have that much power.

All you control is what's in YOUR DOMAIN. You can influence another person, but ultimately, people do not change unless they see the light and decide to change. Trying to change and control others is a huge reason for sadness and dismay. We need to spend more time tending to ourselves and controlling our own reactions. We need boundaries between what we feel we are responsible for in relation to others. We are responsible only for ourselves.

If you encounter a person with a character flaw, someone who puts you down, abuses you, withdraws or refuses to reciprocate the relationship on equal ground, this is not your fault. Not everyone is capable of a mature, equal and fulfilling relationship. Instead of taking it personally, face reality. Realize that what other people do and how they treat you is a reflection on them--not you.

Healing Frozen Feelings & Blocked Emotions

Frozen Feelings

Loving yourself is about getting to know yourself. When you get to know who you are, your true essence, that's when you realize that you are love. Everything in the world is made of love. Love is everything. You are in this world, so you are love. Your essence is divine love.

You may be thinking, okay, I get that I am divine love--I get it in my head, but I don't get it in my heart. In my heart I feel worthless, rejected, depressed. if that is the case, then you are out of touch with your true essence. Growing up, you probably never learned who you really are, and today, you are suffering from it.

If you do not know who you really are, it doesn't mean that you're worthless. Just because you don't know it's raining outside, doesn't make it so. You are love because you are, whether you know it or not. There is just something in the way of your view. Something is blocking your ability to see yourself, to perceive your valuable, true and beautiful essence.

What could it be? It can be a number of things. One thing that could be blocking your view of yourself is repressed emotions. Emotions are energy-in-motion that can become trapped inside your heart without expression. If you hold onto emotions, these emotions, this energy never dies, it only cycles in your psyche over and over again, many times below your conscious awareness.

Your perceived worth and value, that is, the way you see yourself is determined by your core beliefs. Your core beliefs are determined by the decisions that you made at a very early age, from the womb to seven years old. These core beliefs are positive and life-enhancing when your needs are properly met as a child. Positive core beliefs lead to feelings of positive self worth. However, negative core beliefs tear you down and keep you low. If you feel worthless (which is untrue), then you have negative core beliefs that see yourself not as who you really are--a being made of pure love, but for who you're not. If you feel worthless, if you disrespect yourself, it is due to poor core beliefs.

Core beliefs are created in childhood. When you have emotions inside yourself that were not dealt with in childhood, for whatever reason, these emotions never go away. Some emotions fester like a fiery furnace, hot with anger and rage. Other repressed emotions press you down, making your mood low and depressed. Other repressed emotions make you nauseous, others make your hip or other body part hurt. Emotions will not be denied! Emotions must be felt directly for the reason in which they were generated, or else they will come out in whack ways. Lots of ailments, relationship problems and emotional issues are rooted in emotions that were repressed when we were children.

The feelings of danger that are encoded in the unprocessed memories stored in the brain can be triggered by events in the present. - Francine Shapiro, PhD "Getting Past Your Past"

Other emotions are FROZEN. Frozen emotions are emotions that you were not safe to feel as a child. For example, a child may be told to "stop crying, or I'll give you something to cry about," or maybe a child had to be an adult before his or her time. These things cause damage to the heart of a child, even though the child can't let on. When a child has to keep a smile on his face to protect the heart of his mother, to keep her from feeling guilty for not being able to attend to his emotional needs, that child becomes damaged. Emotions are conjured by the abused child, but not necessarily released because releasing negative emotions might hurt someone or make their caretaker angry. Children are hard-wired for survival. Emotional repression is a tool that helps us survive... but it is not conducive to a happy, healthy, whole and full life.

Frozen emotions are emotions that occurred during childhood that were unacceptable to be felt. The parent did not allow room for such emotions, so the child has no other option than to keep these feelings frozen in his or her heart. Frozen emotions occur when a child is afraid, terribly afraid. Fear is a natural feeling that comes from the terror of potentially dying. A child will die without a caretaker, therefore, emotional abandonment and other types of abuse causes intense fear for a child.

The emotion of FEAR cause a distinct psychological and biological reaction in the human body. Three things happen in the threat of fear. 1. Fight; 2. Flight or 3. Freeze. This article is about the frozen kind. The fear that causes such terror that it freezes. Stuck.

This frozen emotion is caused by intense fear during childhood. It means that the child was deathly afraid of being abandoned, which means death. The child was deathly afraid of not being loved, which also means death to a child. (Children die, literally die from lack of love.)

The emotion stays frozen because the child is not safe to express his or her reality within her environment. Instead of expressing her reality and being validated for who she is, she puts on a show for the caretaker. This show is a mask which represents the False Self. This mask is not who she really is, but is what the caretaker needs her to be. It is only when she wears this mask that she gains the acceptance needed for her to continue growing up into adolescence. This is the acceptance that will do, however, that doesn't mean it is healthy. It's like a plant growing up with a disease. As long as she wears this fake mask and as long as the original emotions stay frozen in her heart, she will never fully bloom.

Along with the frozen emotions, stuck in her heart until she willfully allows for free expression later in her life, there is also pieces of her humanity broken off and silenced. Parts of her that are needed in life that she will not be able to access because it is tangled up with frozen, repressed emotion. Emotions that wanted to freeze, but instead acted happy, like nothing was wrong.

A good example of feelings being repressed and potentially frozen is when a child feels required to stop crying, for whatever reason. When a child is not honored and given space for the full expression of his or her self-compassion, he may freeze out of fear of loss of love and acceptance, and pretend to laugh, even though inside, he feels like wailing. This is how emotions are repressed.

These frozen repressed emotions can be triggered later in adulthood. It shows most obviously when you have a fight with your spouse and you go berserk. Repressed emotions are obvious when you overreact, but there are other ways that repressed emotions rule your life that are very obscure to the untrained eye. When you continually choose unsuitable marriage partners, allow your boyfriend to cheat on you, can't stop drinking or gambling... the list is longer than you think. Most of the problems of human emotion are created in the formative years and rooted in repressed emotion. This is the core.

These frozen emotions that the child was not allowed to feel never go away. This is huge! These emotions stay buried, contributing to limiting beliefs and negative self views. It is not until this pent-up energy is expelled, expressed and processed in the presence of an understanding, safe and validating other that the emotion is released. Every emotion that you've never dealt with is still shut up in your heart. You can see the results in your daily life today. Your actions and reactions can be triggered by these frozen emotions, wreaking havoc on your life until you thaw it out and begin to finally heal.

How to Thaw Frozen Feelings

If you have issues in your life that are repetitive and you're unsure why, it could very likely be due to repressed emotions. Perhaps you have feelings that are frozen inside your heart like a cold block of ice. What do you do? How do you know the feelings are there? How do you connect with what happened to you so long ago when you were a little child? That's what I'm about to share.

First, let me explain the positive benefits of expelling repressed emotions. It's wonderful! Inside every bubble of blocked emotion tucked inside your heart is a piece of you. This part of you is repressed alongside the unfelt emotion. When you face the pain and allow the emotional expression of your truth, you will also release parts of yourself you never knew existed. You will gain clarity you never thought you could have. You will be strengthened to win victory over situations that have oppressed you your whole life. The benefits far outweigh the sacrifice.

1. Get to know your feeling self intimately. Spend time with yourself. Journal. Do art. Find out who you are and how you are thinking and feeling. Keep a record of your thoughts, your dreams, your actions and reactions. Dialog with yourself inside your mind about what events trigger what thoughts and feelings. Use Mindfulness to know how you are feeling at any given moment. Notice the physical sensations that you feel in your body such as tightness in your chest, certain tastes on your tongue, pains in your body. Be the observer of your person.

2. Stay consciously aware of negative life patterns. The key to knowing what emotions are repressed, which are frozen and which are on fire inside of you is to stay awake. Ninety percent of what happens inside of you happens in your unconscious. You are not likely aware in the here-and-now that you're upset because your father refused to play with you when you were little. Your brain will try to project that on other people, or blame some other culprit more readily available.

Patterns of negative behavior and reactions that seem uncontrollable can be a great clue to where your repressed emotions are. This requires brutal honesty and willingness to see the truth. It can be painful to look beyond your psychological defenses, but the results of locating these hidden emotions and expelling them completely is worth every effort. Your life will never be the same once you are free! All the problems that you've never been able to figure out will easily fall to pieces when you are free from blocked feelings. Look for clues in what is happening to you TODAY so as to understand what happened to you long ago that you never got to process.

3. Give yourself space to be, and to express your repressed emotion. Just reading this article starts the process of healing for your frozen emotions. Reading this article is a way of tending to your soul, of honoring the potential lost part of you that is attached to the hurt and pain that is frozen inside. Bravo to you for reading this far... Now, go a step further and spend time with yourself and let yourself know that it is okay to be real now. This is inner-child work. It is the process of you re-parenting yourself and telling yourself that although it was not okay to cry when you were little for whatever happened to you that hurt you, but that it is okay now. This is about being a loving adult to your inner-child and giving yourself room to express what's hidden deep inside.

Giving yourself space means turning from the ways you typically abandon and ignore yourself. This means staying sober to attend to the brokenness in your heart without medicating. This means staying home and allowing yourself to be alone with your feelings. This means taking time off work, turning off the TV, fasting from the internet, forgoing golf--doing WHATEVER IT TAKES to give yourself honor and space to feel and express what's deep down inside.

5. Seek the root cause of the painful emotions. You will have more clarity, understanding and release when you are able to pinpoint the actual cause of the original hurt. This could be something that happened to you on the playground as a kid, or something that your brother or sister did to you. Whatever the case, your emotions bring more clarity when you know the exact moment of impact.

6. Express the emotions. Once you've discovered the emotions to be released, you must find a way to express what is there. Your emotions are begging for release! Let it out! Cry, cry, cry, weep, do whatever you can to truly connect with the original source of the pain. You will know you've hit the mark when you can express the reason for the tears as being from long ago--like a child crying at the moment of being hurt. This is an incredibly cathartic experience! You will not be the same when it is over.


The process of expressing emotions is very interesting. At first, you may be afraid to lean into the pain and seek out these negative, hurtful emotions that scared you so badly that you've kept them hidden in your subconscious since day one--but let me tell you, there is nothing to fear!!! It is only when you are able to feel these feelings first hand that you will be free. Healing comes with the expression of emotions that you tried to ignore.


 7. Find supportive people to confide in. Your repressed, frozen emotions are not for everyone. You want to be careful who you share your innermost secrets with... however, there are people who are caring and loving and qualified to help you release your repressed feelings. This may be a support group online or off, a counselor, or a friend. Whomever you find to help you, make sure that person is capable of giving space and VALIDATING your feeling. Without sharing, you cannot fully process what happened. The emotions will not be fully released without the caring, validating presence of another person. We are healed in connection.

8. Find the negative core belief tied to the repressed emotions. Once you discover your frozen emotions, question yourself as to what beliefs stem from this pain. What lies did you believe about yourself as a result of holding your emotions inside. This is a fascinating process! Here is a list of potential negative core beliefs you may find tied to your repressed emotions:

• You cannot be vulnerable, weakness makes you unlovable.
• Never be alone because who you are is boring.
• No one will ever love you because you are damaged.
• You must be perfect to be accepted in this life.

These core beliefs are treacherous, and the reason for many of our failures. Getting to the root of these negative beliefs (which is repressed emotion) will help your heart to logically re-think what it believes. It may not happen overnight, but your mind will begin to seek proofs that these beliefs are not true (with your gentle guidance), and soon, once you are healed and free of the negative energy, you will find that your beliefs have totally changed.

9. Connect with your spiritual source. You are a spiritual being. You cannot heal without connecting to the spiritual aspect of who you are. The spiritual is what makes you ethereal, eternal and is where the ultimate power to heal is found. Without being connected to your spiritual source of love, assurance, trust and knowing, you will get relief, but not ultimate healing. Ultimate healing requires an understanding of your divine nature. Healing and learning to love yourself requires a connection to the god of your understanding. Healing and growing into a mature, happy, healthy and whole human being requires that you realize who you are--a conduit of love. You must do whatever it takes to know, really know that!

Conclusion

Frozen feelings stay in your heart and control your life in negative ways. It's not that the feelings are bad, per say. Your feelings are feelings and each is valid and to be honored. The feelings are not bad, it's the repression and denial of these feelings that bring you pain. Feelings are energy that must be dealt with. Not dealing with feelings makes you contorted emotionally and can make the whole world seem whack. It is up to you as an adult to embrace your inner child, face the repressed sadness inside, and allow yourself space to unfold and experience what you rejected in you long ago. You cannot love yourself, you cannot see yourself, you cannot know yourself or anyone else to the fullest extent until you have felt all that you can feel.

It's time to thaw...

“In addition to reaching out for help, you will also need to reach within yourself. Your biggest ally will be your emotions. Through them, you will learn more about what really happened to you, how the abuse affected you, and what you need to do in order to heal. Your emotions will enable you to reclaim the self you long ago hid away.”

― Beverly Engel, The Right To Innocence 

Ways to Abandon Yourself

What does it mean to abandon yourself? Many people who have issues with self love have a tendency to abandon themselves and give up who they are very easily. But what does that mean? You are you, so how can you abandon the person that you are? I thought it would be helpful to have a list to get started. In the coming months we will be delving into this theme continuously. It's time we bond and connect to our true selves and stop abandoning ourselves. We need to keep hold of who we are so we can live our best lives.

Ways to Abandon Yourself

• Ignoring your inner voice.
• Allowing opinions of others to change your mind and/or direction.
• Allowing actions of others to make you feel guilty or ashamed. 
• Denying or minimizing your feelings.
• Not paying attention to yourself, your needs, your health.
• Eating candy and junk when you're hungry for nutrients.
• Smoking, drinking or taking drugs.
• Not speaking up for yourself.
• Not standing up for yourself.
• Allowing your own defenses to block your progress.
• Using your energies toward anything not conducive to your highest good.
• Ignoring the cry of your heart to improve or change in any area.
• Disregarding your qualities.
• Judging yourself as less than another.
• Doubting yourself.
• Blaming yourself.
• Dissociating from reality.
• Denying your true feelings.
• Dimming your sparkle to make another comfortable.
• Putting up with disparaging treatment.
• Ignoring yourself. 
• Sabotaging your success.
• Focusing on the feelings, actions of another person.
• Trying to control the perceptions others have of you.
• Trying to prove yourself or win approval.
• Daydreaming too much; fantasizing.
• Being obsessive, compulsive or delusional.
• Being bombarded with excess shame.
• Having an external locus of control.
• Lacking in self care and self compassion.
• Lacking boundaries. 
• Chasing after someone who rejected you.
• Expecting the worst.
• Thinking the world is a bad place. 
• Having to be in control.
• Being perfectionistic.
• Beating yourself up for mistakes. 
• Negative thinking. 

100 Ways to Love Yourself

1. Take time to be by yourself.
2. Schedule time just for you. 
3. Journal your thoughts.
4. Let go of mental stress. 
5. Take an inventory of the quality of your relationships.
6. Try something new. 
7. Express your emotions to someone safe.
8. Forgive someone you need to.
9. Stand up to your inner-critic. 
10. Stand up for yourself. 
11. Learn to set better boundaries. 
12. Delight in your daily duties that usually frustrate you.
13. Organize your life.
14. Reverse negative thoughts.
15. Resolve old issues. 
16. Get out of debt.
17. Read a book on CBT techniques. 
18. Turn off the news.  
19. Write down positive affirmations.
20. Create a quiet, private space in your home. 
21. Take a day off just for you.
22. Buy a new outfit. 
23. Write down how you feel. 
24. Learn NLP strategies for living a better life.
25. Remain open to new experiences.
26. Don't buy anything with credit cards.
27. Save money.
28. Require that people respect you.
29. Find a mentor.  
30. Take vitamins.
31. Make a new friend. 
32. Write a prayer of gratitude.
33. Find the wonder in your soul.
34. Read a book on a personal topic of interests you. 
35. Listen to the voice in your heart.
36. Respond to the voice in your heart.
37. Heed the voice in your heart.
38. Cook dinner for a friend.
39. Give yourself what you want.
40. Laugh like a child.
41. Set a goal for self-improvement.
42. Work-out.
43. Cook healthy meals for yourself.
44. Get your nails done. 
45. Drink hot tea.
46. Take a hot bath.
47. Paint your bathroom, bedroom or closet. 
48. Make your space comfortable.
49. Get your car detailed.
50. Take care of all the little extra errands in your way.
51. Ask a new friend to lunch. 
52. Create a special playlist for melancholy days.
53. Create a new playlist for cardio.
54. Try a new workout regimine. 
55. Book a vacation with your lover, friends or by yourself. 
56. Spend time in nature.
57. Go for a long, slow walk and observe the world around you.
58. Try yoga.
59. Get in touch with your inner-child.
60. Play.
61. Do artwork.
62. Make a clay statue. 
63. Organize your accessories belts, scarves, ties, earrings, cufflinks. necklaces.
64. Clean that spot in your home you've been avoiding. 
65. Make up your own recipe.
66. Think of something small you thought you couldn't do, then do it. 
67. Cook a steak on the grill.
68. Eat fruits and vegetables.
69. Take a class.
70. Expand your mind.
71. Read books. 
72. Get new photos done. 
73. Make new recipes in your juicer.
74. Ask someone for help.
75. Focus on the good within your heart.
76. Focus on the good within others. 
77. Notice how far you've come. 
78. Embrace daily chores with wonder and enthusiasm. 
79. Let go of the past. 
80. Improve your talent. 
81. Write your life story. 
82. Start a blog. 
83. Give your worry to God. 
84. Stretch
85. Run
86. Lift weights
87. Sit in the sauna
88. Get a massage.
89. Focus on yourself. 
90. Think about what you need (in all areas).
91. Notice how your feeling.
92. Practice mindfulness.
93. Pray
94. Meditate
95. Practice emotional detachment. 
96. Untie whatever chokes your life. 
97. Pull away from unhealthy relationships.
98. Say no.
99. Refuse to feel guilty.
100. Accept your feelings, both good and bad.