How to Secure Your Insecurities

The source of insecurities are negative, false beliefs that you hold about yourself that are contrary to your true essence.

Insecurities are tied to False Beliefs,
False Beliefs are tied to Conditioning,
False Beliefs are false because it is contrary to your true essence.

Any childhood messaging or learning that contradicts the truth of your essence--that you are pure love, valuable and incomparable in worth, and a powerful co-creator of life on this planet--causes pain and dysfunction in adulthood.

Anything you believe that is contrary to the truth that you are love, lovable and loving causes pain and dysfunction. The key to healing your insecurities is to encounter the true essence of who you really are. The reason your insecurities exist is because you question your own value. When you realize who you are, when you know who you are, your insecurities melt away like ice in the warm sun.

Insecurities are evident to those around you. When your insecurities are evident, it causes one to feel shame. No one wants to be seen as not believing they are worthy. Everyone puts on a fake mask of pretending to feel something that they do not feel.

Insecurities call for you to make up for your deficiencies to others. One way you try to make up for those places in which your personal worth is in question is via proving yourself to the world, and with people-pleasing behavior.

Your insecurities represent your internal beliefs, those core beliefs which you've determined your own individual worth as a person. These core beliefs are wrapped in layers of fear that the world will find out the truth--that you are in fact worthless and you know it. When this fear is triggered, the insecurity works overtime keeping the truth from yourself and everyone else.

You cannot hide insecurities. Insecurities show loud and clear to those who are not insecure. Insecurities drive much of our activity, including social media and blogging!!!

No one is completely secure. The only security is in knowing who you really are, without having to add anything or change anything about your true essence. Our culture does not raise children to be aware of their essence. Child rearing customs assault the child's security of knowing who they really are and the power that they hold to effect the world in lieu of compliance and conformity. Children today learn that their value is in following the rules and dictates of their parents, not in discovering their true powerful essence.

The key to securing your insecurities is to dig deep into yourself to find out what wires are crossed. Find out what lies you believed that are contrary to the truth that you are divine. The key to finding out where the lies are, since such core beliefs are embedded in the unconscious, is to look at your current dysfunction.

• What makes you run and hide?
• What makes you take a drink?
• What makes you addicted to that man or woman?
• What makes you check out?
• What makes you want to smoke?
• What makes you cry?

Your daily behavior reflects your core beliefs more than many realize. In order to get beyond negative core beliefs and to replace those beliefs with truth, you must do the work of figuring yourself out. Find out what you're believing about yourself that is untrue. Be fearless in your searching inventory of yourself. Don't allow yourself to hide and cower from the truth of reality, the truth of how you really feel. Ask questions, wait for the answers. You are powerful, more powerful than you know.
 

 

Worthiness Comes from Authentic Being

The only place worthiness can ever take place is within your own inner being, regardless of the conditions outside of you. We never have control of conditions outside ourselves. We only ever have control of our own beingness, and how that beingness is manifesting itself through us. (Melanie's words)

Any time you are acting in a way that is non-authentic to gain something that you need internally through external sources, you are insulting your soul and wounding yourself by validating core beliefs which are false and contrary to your true core essence which is source--divine love. (my words)

WOUNDING OCCURS WHEN YOU FAIL TO PERCEIVE YOUR TRUE WORTH AND TO ACT IN ACCORDANCE WITH YOUR INNER TRUTH. THIS WOUNDING BEGINS IN CHILDHOOD, CONDITIONS ONE TO DO IT TO HIMSELF OR HERSELF UNTIL DEATH OR HEALING TAKES PLACE. (my words)

Healing of core false beliefs requires release of energy/emotion frozen, repressed, stuffed, dissociated, denied from original wound, and a realization of truth of your true inner nature. This is redemption. This is salvation. This is truth. Your truth recognized is evolution and is our purpose on this planet. Anything other than understanding the true essence of your true nature is a lie, is false and leads to perpetual wounding, insecurity and confusion; reliance on external sources and codependency. Anything that would block the understanding divine true love that dwells on the inside of you, the healing source that is with you all the time is that which is false, negative and damaging to your soul. (my words)

Notes & Revelations from Melanie's talk on manipulation

The False Self

The False Self.  I've come to understand the False Self as a part of yourself that tries to be something other than who you are in effort to gain acceptance and approval from others. This is the heart of codependence. When you're more concerned with what others think of you than following your own truth, you are codependent on outside input.

Another term for this condition is having an external locus of control. This state is very painful because one can never control the actions and reactions of others. If you're self-love and identity hinges on what others think, you're self worth fluctuates depending on whether you're accepted, rejected, approved or disregarded.

The False Self is the part of you that is playing a part. Your mask. It's the part that is trying to earn approval, to get love. The False Self cannot ever get love because true love flows from within, from your very essence. The False Self can only get false love which is conditional and leaves you feeling invisible and empty. ~ jlr 


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Sharing our wounded ego selves is sharing who we have created ourselves to be to have control over getting love and avoiding pain. There is no reality, no truth, no authenticity to our ego wounded self. Authentic connection is not possible from an inauthentic part of ourselves. No matter how much you may want the joy of authentic connection with your partner or others, it cannot occur until you authentically connect with yourself.

~ Dr. Marget Paul

Connection

The problem is that we cannot authentically connect with another unless we are connected with our authentic selves. If we are not defining ourselves from within, then we consistently attempt to define ourselves eternally, by doing whatever we can to have control over getting love, approval, attention, sex, agreement, and so on. We confuse true connection with the momentary good feeling that comes from getting what we want from another. We think that relating to another from the wounded ego part of ourselves and getting what we want to feel externally validated is connection. It is not.

Connection with another is a mutual experience of sharing our authentic selves with each other and each receiving caring, understanding, and support - the mutual feeling of being received and cherished for who we each really are. It is truly one of the highest experiences in life. But this wonderful experience is not possible unless we are both able to share as our authentic selves. It is only when we are deeply connected with our own feelings, our own thoughts, and our own inner knowing/spiritual guidance that we can authentically share ourselves. 


Dr. Margaret Paul