Monday, December 9, 2013

How to Honor Yourself

If something in your life isn't honoring you, then it simple doesn't deserve a seat at your table. It is healthy to let go. Sherrie Campbell

This quote from Sherrie, Campbell, PhD got me thinking. What is "honor." How is honor shown? How do others honor us and how do we honor ourselves?


Honor: High respect, esteem. A privilege. To regard someone with great respect. To fulfill an obligation or keep an agreement. 

Honoring yourself is the place you must start. If you want to be honored by others in this life, it all starts with you honoring yourself first. Perhaps you weren't raised to honor yourself. Maybe you weren't honored as a child. If not, you have work to do in learning to honor yourself, starting with why you are worthy of honor.

Why You are Worthy of Honor

You are worthy of honor because you exist. If you have breath in you, you are a living being on this planet with inherent value. The gauge is--are you alive? If you are, then you have value. Nothing that you've done or didn't do in your life can ever diminish your value and worth as a human being. You can add nothing to your value and take nothing away. The only limiter of your own value is your own belief. If you BELIEVE you are not valuable, then you will not be valuable. If you do not believe you are worthy on honor, then you will not be worthy of honor. Your own belief is the gauge by which you see yourself and the world sees you.

What About You is Worthy of Honor

You are worthy of honor, but who are you? You are comprised of a body, a mind, a soul and a spirit. The essence of you is worthy of honor. What's more, your thoughts, feelings, needs and wants are also a part of you, and thus these intangible parts of you are worthy of honor. One who is worthy of honor is worthy to be esteemed. Your thoughts, feelings, beliefs, needs, wants, body, mind, soul and spirit are ALL WORTHY OF HONOR! This means the following:
  • Your ideas should be valued and given consideration.
  • Your thoughts are important and should be treated as such.
  • Your feelings matter and should be given space to be.
  • Your wants are important and should be considered.
  • Your needs are honorable and should be met. 
  • Your body is a treasure and should be treated very well.
  • Your mind, soul and spirit are worthwhile and precious. 
 This means that you should take heed to what you are thinking, feeling, believing, make sure you are thinking healthy thoughts, believing true things and that your feelings are being properly expressed. Honor your needing and wanting--don't deny yourself anything that you need. Reach out to get your needs met assertively. Take risks, treat yourself like royalty (without being self centered and while having compassion for others).

Honor Your Existence

It is an honor that you exist on this planet. You are valuable, like a precious jewel. You are unique and there is no other you. You deserve to be honored. You are a child of God. There is no need to take the seat of dishonor, as one who is disrespected, as one who is not living up to your own expectations.

Make Sure Others Honor You

You cannot make someone honor your existence. They will either honor you or they won't. You can never prove your worth to anyone. If a person does not honor their own existence, they will be closed off to honoring yours. If a person is self-centered and incapable of seeing your needs, thoughts and feelings as important, then there is nothing you can do. This is sad, but you cannot change them. They can only change themselves. You can only walk away, if you are to keep your dignity.

Others should honor you in the following ways:
  • Be respectful of your feelings.
  • Keep their word with you and honor their commitments to you.
  • Apologize and make amends to you if they hurt your feelings.
  • Treat your feelings as precious and try to not hurt you.
  • Listen to you when you speak.
  • Not insult you or belittle you.
  • Not send messages through actions that you are not important.
  • Praise you and make you feel special.
  • Support you in times of need.
  • Forgive you for wrongs when you apologize.
The list goes on and on. Honor is about not playing games; it's about giving space to another person as important, valuable, precious, worthy of respect. We must not only expect others to honor us, but we must first honor ourselves. Others will learn how they can treat us by how we treat ourselves and how we honor others. If we honor ourselves and honor those around us, this sends the greatest message. 

Not Used to Being Honored

What if you were raised by a family who didn't honor your existence. Maybe your birth was an accident, or the situations in your family were so bad that your parents were incapable of making you feel honored. If this is the case, you may have a dishonorable attitude. You may think that you are unworthy of honor. These feelings can be beneath the surface. In fact, some people who act like they're the greatest actually feel the worst about themselves. If you're not used to being honored, you may find it difficult to honor yourself, and receive honor from others.

There is no better time than RIGHT NOW to start honoring yourself. Start with how you talk to yourself. Say good, nice, encouraging things to yourself. Support yourself with healthy relationships, get counseling, join a support group--do whatever it takes to get yourself to the place where you honor everything about yourself. You deserve it!!! 

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