Thursday, August 1, 2013

What is Your Value?

What is your value? How do you rate yourself in the scheme of things? How do you positioned YOURSELF in light of all the distractions and matters to which you must attend? Where are YOU in the equation? How do you fare? Are you at the bottom of your own mental list? Do you fluctuate depending on your mood? Are you knocked down when imperfections surface? Do you exist at all?

This is the question to ask.

There are schools of thought that would argue against self-ranking altogether, and I must admit, there is some merit in that. However, when it comes down to day-to-day living, there is a need to put priorities on everything. You, your needs, the needs of others, the needs of your family, society, the world. In determining which needs come first, you must somehow rank--despite what people say the negative aspects of ranking bring. At the end of the day, you only have so much life, so much time.

When it comes to you, what is your value?

Are you like a rock that can easily be passed by; is it easy to not notice you, or are you like a beautiful diamond that makes cars come to a screeching halt in order to gaze upon your beauty? I'm not asking from an external prospective. I'm not talking about your physicality. I'm talking about you, how you see you and how you treat you.

We are conditioned as children how to see ourselves. If our caretakers relished in our presence, honored our existence, made time for us, paid attention to us, showered us with love and affection, then we would have a healthy appreciation for ourselves today. This appreciation would be solid, not fluctuating, and would be sound. We would be able to forgive ourselves our weaknesses and shortcomings, knowing that love is not lost when we are human.

If, on the other hand, we were not appreciated, not loved, not cherished, not treasured in childhood, but, treated as a nuisance or burden, headache or mistake, then we will not have a very good opinion of our value as adults. How we are, how we feel about ourselves as adults, how we function in relationships, how we do what we do, all has roots in childhood. We were either loved and valued, or we were left wanting, needing and longing for validation.

In growing beyond the past into the light of our own self love, it is necessary to reparent ourselves; we must remind ourselves, tell ourselves that we are worthwhile, loved and appreciated. We must replace the negative messages going through our minds with positive, affirming, life-giving kindness that emanates from our own souls. We must get to a place where we can honestly meet our own needs and encourage the broken places inside our own hearts that never heard the truth. YOU ARE WORTHY.

Jenna Ryan 2013

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