Relationship Tip #28 - Is Your Date a Player? Is he just looking for sex?

Relationship Tip #28 - Is Your Date a Player? Is he just looking for sex?

By Carolyn Bushong

1. Does he say he's just looking for a friend or a good time or a casual date?
   Interpretation: Often he means: "I don't want a relationship, just casual sex." Tell him you that being friends first is great, but ultimately you want a long-term relationship, & that if he doesn't you don't really want to go out with him.
2. Is he too focused on you physically (your description or full body shot if online)?
   Interpretation: He can't see past that & isn't really interested in anything else. Tell him you agree that there needs to be honesty about looks, but that he seems a little too focused on that for you.
3. Does he use racy language or want to share sexual histories or want to know what turns you on in bed.
   Interpretation: Someone who talks about sex wants to have sex and is testing you to see how comfortable you are with the come-ons. If you allow it, he will assume that it will happen soon.
4. Does he suggest you watch a movie at his house or yours?
   Interpretation: "Forget the getting to know each other part, let's get on with it!" Let him know that coming to his place seems inappropriate at this stage of the game and that dinner and drinks (each driving their own car) sounds much better.
5. Does he ask you to meet him late at night (after 9pm)?
   Interpretation: "Let's skip the dinner and drinks and get to the good and inexpensive part of the date." Just say no and say you'd rather get together when you can meet after work or at least by 7pm.
6. Does he call and try to get together last minute?
   Interpretation: He's disrespectful of your time, self-involved, and probably horny. Just say, "Sorry, but I could make plans with you for a different night, but I need to know ahead of time. Shall we plan something now for later?"
7. Does he look you in the eye, or at your chest and/or other body parts?
   Interpretation: He knows what he wants, and it's not romance. Just see this as a clue and try to direct him to any topic except sex.
8. Does he try to rush it, wanting to get together before you've had a chance to talk on the phone and get to know each other? Does he want to get together several nights in a row or spend a long weekend together?
   Interpretation: He's impatient and thinks, "Let's get to know each other quickly so we can get to the important part." Let him know you want to take it slow, meeting once and waiting a week or so to get together again

A PLAYER is someone who is in the game because he loves the game of "conquest." When dealing with a player, be sure you don't play along. Don't let him rush you, or be suggestive, or act inappropriately, as he will take advantage of the situation and you will end up angry at yourself that you fell for it. It being that he was very interested in you, not just in the sex. Taking it slow is the only way to be sure he's not a player!