Boundaries: Willing to Walk Away

A boundary can only be set once you are free from the fear of abandonment and rejection. This means that you must have a safe cushion of self love around yourself in order to remain calm and connected within your own heart, which is your truth. If you stick with yourself--rather than abandoning yourself--then you can withstand the arrows that inevitably come when you must stand up for yourself by setting a boundary. The truth is, as an adult, you cannot be abandoned. You have the ability to care for yourself, whether you realize it yet or not.

If you are more afraid of rejection, and more fearful of abandonment than you are of maintaining your dignity, then you will not set boundaries. Setting a boundary is drawing a line between you and another person. It is feeling comfortable expressing how you feel about the actions or inaction of another person. It's about sharing your truth, even if your truth is uncomfortable or inconvenient for the other person. It's about sharing your truth and setting limits on others, even at the risk of losing the relationship, if that's what it takes. If the other person refuses to abide by your limits, you must be willing to walk away--from anyone at any time. You must feel confident in your ability to make it on your own.

J. Ryan


Why Some Boundaries Don't Hold Up for Newbies