Friday, July 26, 2013

Experience Your Own Goodness

We do not become "good" by trying to be "good" Often when we feel we need someone's love we become a slave for their love and approval. They shoot out a relationship frizbee and we run and catch it while doing a tripple-gainer with a half twist just to show how much we love them and this is still often not enough to have our goodness reflected back. 
We can only find the good in our relationships by nurturing the good inside ourselves because anyone outside of us is going to be temporary either by break up, death or some other form of an ending. There are many documented cases of people literally dying of broken hearts and we have probably all been there and thought that that would surely happen because love or the loss of love can be so painful. Let us be inspired by this because by finding the goodness that is within us this is the only way for that goodness to emerge to be shared with others and to be experienced as a stable state of being within us. 
We are capable of changing our state of being by focusing on being self-loving. When we operate this way, we may fall down from time to time but we will not break because we can find ourselves again, commit to ourselves again and open up to a new life. there are now so many people who need your love in many new ways. If a love falls away it opens up space for all those others who have been waiting for that vacancy in your life so that they may enter and offer you an even more meaningful love experience than the one that fell away. 
If we can love ourselves and nurture experiencing our own goodness life will reflect this back to us with more love. If you have the power to believe in this, you will manifest it.


Often times we think the way to solve our problems is to jump into action and force our will. We may feel that if we give any situation too much time that there will be a loss. Sometimes we have to have the patience to wait until our mud settles and the waters are clear before we can be sure or about anything in life. 
When we are feeling at a loss it can feel nearly impossible to use patience--our ability to wait and not act out in a negative or impulsive manner. Whenever we act out impulsively or negatively we damage others and we damage ourselves. We create a mess that sometimes can be so damaging to someone else that we fear it can not be remedied. This is why it is often the best thing to remain unmoving until right action arises on its own. 
This is about faith that the right action will arise on its own. You can be sure that whatever is out of balance has a need to balance at some point and that means that right action will arise on it's own. Therefore, do nothing. Remain unmoving until that time with your only focus being You, Loving Yourself, rebuilding your life or improving your life and let he Universe do the rest. Then when right action arises you will know that you are doing the correct thing for yourself and all involved. love yourself.


If we love ourselves then we will know who we are and who we are not. When we do not have an inner connection to ourselves we are like a kite floating on the unpredictable weather of life. When we are not internally connected we are making fear based decisions, making decisions based upon what other people tell us what is right for us, and making decisions that we think will get us what we want. We can never get what we want out of fear. We can never get what we want by someone else telling us what to do. We can only get what we want when we check within. 
The power to run our lives effectively exists within all of us, but so many of us allow the outside world to dictate our direction and we often give up or get rid of the very things in our lives that we really need because they are healthy for us. Fear creates reactivity, impulsevty and regret. These are three things which then bring upon great loss, depression and self-doubt. 
When we love ourselves, we know ourselves. We can listen to and consider the advise of others but only after we check in with our own compass, weigh the options from a place of health compassion and self-love and then we will always know what is truly best for us. Like the good witch said "She had the strength within her all along." Check within before you make decisions and in doing this you will not risk making decisions which only serve to make your life more empty.
The longing for love is in every person and especially in every child. If we did not get loved the way we needed to be loved as children we often grow up looking for love from others and often the wrong others. We can only recognize real love when we really love ourselves. We have to know what love feels like to be able to relate to it and accept it. 
If we fall in love with someone who does not love themselves the relationship will not be fulfilling because that person will have little love, adoration or true emotion to give. What they will do, however, is gladly receive your love and it will make them feel good. If you feel there is something vital missing in a love relationship it probably is. It is easy to get into to denial about this and think if you can just make this person happy and treat them well that they will become happy and treat you better. You then begin to lose yourself trying to love someone who really cannot love you back because they do not love themselves fully and the relationship will soon fracture. 
It is easy to think if you just change yourself enough that it will make someone else happier but this is never the case. The only person that can make anyone truly happy is that person him/herself. This is why loving yourself is so important. If you love yourself, the correct love will find you. 


The most difficult thing to do as a person is to set the boundaries you need to set so you can maintain and nurture your sense of self and self-esteem. Sometimes we have to say no when it is really hard to do so. 
Sometimes we feel that our parents or other significant loves must approve of who we are and what we do in order for us to feel accepted and loved. But why should they? Sometimes people just aren't capable of understanding who we are and what we do with our lives but that has nothing do with us. It has more to do with who they are and the level of consciousness within which they operate. 
We may feel that we cannot feel happy or comfortable with who we are unless we have their approval but why is that? What difference does their approval really make to who we are? It really makes no difference. If you love who you are and you believe in what you are doing in your life then keep doing what brings you joy, love and happiness. if you are getting criticized endlessly by someone you love or they are intrusive to your life then you will have to set the correct boundaries on them so that you can continue on your path to self love...just keep in my mind that their approval isn't necessary for you to be fully who you are. Love yourself.
The only way to truly love another is to first love yourself. If you do not love yourself you cannot have or create an equitable or enduring relationship. Some people think loving yourself is self-centered when in fact loving yourself is the starting place for being able to love others. The number one main reason you should be self-loving is that you embody the love from within you to offer to the world of your relationships. 
Each person has an inner light and if nurtured can be healing for those around them. If you love yourself you will protect that light from those who are like a moth to a flame just wanting to use it to get themselves out of their own darkness. You will know when you are being sucked dry when you are not being appreciated for your unique goodness
We do not want to be doing for others what they should be or could be doing for themselves. This is not about choosing to withhold help from someone you love it is the awareness that the best kinds of love are when you can accept and love a lover without having to manage his/her emotional baggage as well as your own. We all have to stand at ease within ourselves before we can stand to love another. If you want beautiful love...BE beautiful love.

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