tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-74545865187438107142024-03-14T11:50:08.652-07:00Self Love UUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger473125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454586518743810714.post-30334524695845359722022-11-11T15:19:00.000-08:002022-11-11T15:19:05.020-08:0025 Red Flags <p><b>1. When a person repeatedly tells you what to do. </b></p><p>You are a grown adult and you do not need other adults telling you what to do. You get to make your own decisions, and anyone who thinks that it is their job to boss you around is controlling, and if you like it, then you are giving up responsibility for your life to other people. STOP. <b> <br /></b></p><p><b>2. When a person interrupts you while you are speaking.</b></p><p>If you feel that you are regularly interrupted while you are speaking to a person, then it is true. It's really happening. Face that you're being interrupted and being squished out of conversations with this person and accept the red flag for what it is and don't try to change the other person into a healthy person who can relate on your level when it is clear that they can't even let you talk. </p><p>If you interrupt others when they are speaking, stop. Everyone needs to be seen, heard and understood. <b><br /></b></p><p><b>3. When a person doesn't listen to you.</b></p><p>When someone is
listening to you, you feel it, you hear it, you sense it, you know it.
When someone does not listen to you, it is a sign that the person does
not care and never will--it's best to let this person go and/or keep
them at a distance because they will never listen and it's damaging to
you to try to communicate and relate with someone who won't listen to
you.<b> <br /></b></p><b></b><p><b>4. When a person refuses to allow you to exist. <br /></b></p><p>If you feel like talking to the person is hard work, that sharing anything about yourself is very difficult, or getting a word in about what your life is all about is not easy and flowing, then you are dealing with an emotional stingy person. Communication should be easy, flowing and reciprocal. <b><br /></b></p><b>4. When a person tries to make you feel guilty for setting a boundary in the past. </b><p>Some people hang your boundaries over your head like you did a bad thing when you set it; you hurt them with your boundary, need for space and/or distance. </p><p><b>5. When a person texts you asking how you're doing, then doesn't respond when you respond to their text. </b></p><p>This is an annoying Red Flag. It's a pattern with some people and if they do this to you, it shows you that there is something wrong. Normal, healthy, loving friends and people who want the best for you don't leave you hanging via text. It takes 5 seconds to text someone and hold up the conversation. It should be a rare occurrence when you or your friend leave texts wide open with no response. *Super Irritating <br /></p><p><b>6. When a person tells you to go hang around or be with someone who has abused you in the past. </b></p><p>No one who cares about you would tell you or encourage you to go be with someone who has injured and hurt you in the past. <br /></p><p><b>7. When someone states the way they need you to be in order for them to feel comfortable. </b><br /><br />People who are toxic will share the quiet part out loud. This is usually a subconscious process, so they don't mean to do it, but they will give red flags to their red flags. They will say things like:</p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>"I need you to make less money than me because I would feel uncomfortable if you had more than me."</li><li> Oh that's great, "I can date you and my ex-wife will become jealous."</li></ul><p><b> 8. If someone brings up something negative about yourself that you shared. </b></p><p>People who love you and care about you and who are <i>for</i> you do not do this. The only person who would do this is </p><ol style="text-align: left;"><li> 1) Someone who is trying to gain power over you through making you feel bad and negging you; </li><li>2) Someone who feels threatened by you and feels the need to bring you down to make them feel better about themselves; or <br /></li><li>3) Someone who is playing power and control games. <br /></li></ol><p><b> 9. When someone only likes people who think exactly like they think.</b></p><p>It's human nature to be unique and have our own opinions and beliefs. If someone is closed to you having your own ideas and doing your own thing, then that is a red flag. </p><p><b>10. When a person does not text you back or call you back as they said they would.</b></p><p>I don't even need to explain this one. This is a huge indicator that the person you're talking to doesn't like you, respect you or give one crap about you.<br /></p><p><b>11. When someone calls you up to tell you their problems, but when it's your time to speak, they have to get off the phone. (This is a pattern)</b></p><p>No explanation needed. </p><p><b>12. When someone brags about their life. </b></p><p>A healthy, secure person does not have to brag about themselves. It's okay if a friend tells you about great things happening, but this should not turn into a nightly monologue about how great they are. </p><p><b>13. When a person is addicted to drugs. </b></p><p>You cannot have a relationship with someone who is addicted to drugs. You also cannot help a person who is addicted to drugs. An addict must help himself or herself. Getting involved with this person will lead you to a dark place--steer clear.</p><p><b>14. When a person flies off the handle and goes cray cray on you.<br /></b></p><p>Obvious red flag. <br /></p>dotjennahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12476981215479729444noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454586518743810714.post-77742644197905052752022-10-28T08:53:00.003-07:002022-10-28T08:53:16.513-07:0035 Manipulation Tactics of Toxic People <h3 style="text-align: left;">35 Manipulation Tactics of Toxic People </h3><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgU870m44Fn3VSRX1qwoY4VVc15fbjhJC8SkIYdg6llZ_5SNEXDnZEBdp4rjrQ6KWtty5qlgzxkqGrtlLXe2DtehEm55S2fDCJDlpJMFtQkTyBwGEvfcTmNfcNwCs_sc-QRMHGnraV12YjSjEYMJDxUIhDi2cwQqUzG0DRLmCQtoTYE61drUDHbRozGRw/s450/manipulation.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="408" data-original-width="450" height="290" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgU870m44Fn3VSRX1qwoY4VVc15fbjhJC8SkIYdg6llZ_5SNEXDnZEBdp4rjrQ6KWtty5qlgzxkqGrtlLXe2DtehEm55S2fDCJDlpJMFtQkTyBwGEvfcTmNfcNwCs_sc-QRMHGnraV12YjSjEYMJDxUIhDi2cwQqUzG0DRLmCQtoTYE61drUDHbRozGRw/s320/manipulation.png" width="320" /></a></div>By Jenna Ryan <br /><p></p><p>The Manipulator seeks one thing. Power and thus, Control. Control of your mind, your thoughts, your feelings, your cognitions. The controlling person wants to own a piece of your mind and sees you as their puppet, or tool. </p><p>The best way to steer clear of manipulation is knowing how you feel. Staying tuned to your feelings, and knowing why you feel the way you feel helps you to untangle the knot of manipulation.<br /></p><ol style="text-align: left;"><li>Love Bombing / Bait & Switch<br /></li><li>Flattery/ Mimicry<br /></li><li>Rug Pulling</li><li>Guilt Tripping</li><li>Playing the Victim</li><li>DARVO - Deny, Attack, Reverse, Victim, Offender</li><li>Gaslighting</li><li>Giving Commands </li><li>Silent Treatment </li><li>Wounded Bird - Poor Me<br /></li><li>Lying and Deception</li><li>One-Upping</li><li>Virtue Signaling </li><li>Self Righteous Religiosity</li><li>Bringing up Past </li><li>Pushing Buttons</li><li>Game of Uproar <br /></li><li>Pretending / Acting</li><li>Smear Campaigns <br /></li><li>Hovering <br /></li><li>Playing Dumb <br /></li><li>Denial <br /></li><li>Propaganda <br /></li><li>Recruiting </li><li>Triangulation <br /></li><li>Name Calling</li><li>Moving the Goalposts <br /></li><li>Generalization & Hyperbole</li><li>Word Salad</li><li>Re-Writing History </li><li>Negging & Digs </li><li>Diminishing & Dismissing </li><li>Harassing and Stalking </li><li>Invalidation</li><li>Blaming</li></ol><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>dotjennahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12476981215479729444noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454586518743810714.post-76049382849285707642022-10-25T23:37:00.011-07:002022-10-26T13:30:28.691-07:00Pulling the Rug <p><b></b></p><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdWwJKu778oTxPQovOmkdXbMNJqzNE6aS2U60LgYBFefW6R4q5jDsjw2Xzpq350HpkQC1qn38OS34iv3MLSsr0oEhF0yjlIY0cW0CYjJzouEhLEll4r1bS-DfzE0HcTK_XCRTJqcpiGD5nb7m70U8MEIwQV2C5I_dOLyQUqoZ1zDzldlWwQ0BJ9LaPhQ/s257/uploads_1513369085897-Unknown-1.jpeg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="196" data-original-width="257" height="244" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdWwJKu778oTxPQovOmkdXbMNJqzNE6aS2U60LgYBFefW6R4q5jDsjw2Xzpq350HpkQC1qn38OS34iv3MLSsr0oEhF0yjlIY0cW0CYjJzouEhLEll4r1bS-DfzE0HcTK_XCRTJqcpiGD5nb7m70U8MEIwQV2C5I_dOLyQUqoZ1zDzldlWwQ0BJ9LaPhQ/w320-h244/uploads_1513369085897-Unknown-1.jpeg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table><b><br />Psychological Abuse and Manipulation Tactic <br /></b><p></p><div><b>"Pulling the Rug"</b> is an intricate power and control siege of the perpetrator by a unknowing victim. </div><div> </div><div>Pulling the Rug is a covert abuse tactic used to disintegrate, confuse and control the target <span data-dobid="hdw">without their knowledge, and with the target's naive cooperation. The tactic uses an intricate <b>manipulation matrix </b>of guilt, fantasy and shame triggers to render the target powerless, and to take over the solar plexus. <b> </b></span></div><div><span data-dobid="hdw"><b> </b></span></div><div><span data-dobid="hdw"><b>Rug Pulling</b> involves building fantasies using key words and phrases as well as taking specific actions that (if resolved) meet the unmet needs and deep emotional wounds in the target. These words, actions, behaviors work within the target to quickly dissolve defenses and give quick access to deep recesses of the psyche. </span><span data-dobid="hdw"> </span><br /><span data-dobid="hdw"></span><span data-dobid="hdw"></span></div><div> <br /></div><div><b>Pulling the Rug </b>occurs when someone builds up your expectations
and abruptly (or subtly) begins to pull the rug away in an attempt to
trigger your sense of shame and self doubt, ie: control your emotions
and cause you to feel pain. <br /></div><div><br /></div><div>This is a power play that is part of the push/pull dynamic, but with much more sinister motives of the perpetrator and dire consequences to the victim. <br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Pulling
the Rug involves engaging the attachment system of another person
through deceptively building up false hopes, making false promises, and
then, unilaterally deconstructing the attachment through off-handed
comments, intermittent silence and generalized failure to deliver.</div><div><br /></div><div>The <b>"Pulling the Rug"</b> process involves six distinct parts</div><div> </div><div></div><div><b>1. </b><b><u>Setting the Rug</u></b> -<b> </b>Love Bombing<b> - </b>Using words and phrases and actions that solve deep inner need that lays wounded and dormant in the target. The love bombing is the bait that leads the victim into the trance of the fantasy that their needs of external validation (impossible to meet externally) will finally be met and resolved through the actions (false and deceptive promises, word salad) of the Manipulator. </div><div><br /></div><div><b>2. <u>Building on the Rug</u></b> - The Rug Giver (RG) starts to build fantasies around the Rug Puller (RP) who is doing the love bombing. The RG starts making future plans, raising expectations and relying on the RP's continued contribution to the game. The RP builds his or her life, thoughts, feelings, behaviors and in extreme cases, gives money and resources to the RP. <br /></div><div> </div><div><b>3. <u>Slow Pull</u> - </b>Slowly stop using said phrases, making said promises, or leading, guiding directing toward original objective to meet said need. This process involves intricate, covert positioning by the abuser that is often undetected by others, including the victim. Slight-of-hand tactics include: devaluing, diminishing, shaming, disrespecting and ignoring. The process involves intermittent reward / punishment, thus making the victim feel addicted to the RP. Devaulation Phase.<br /></div><div><br /></div><div><b>4. <u>Rip</u> - </b>When the rug is completely ripped away suddenly, unexpectedly, leaving the victim dangling, shattered on the floor with a broken heart and broken dreams. This is the discard stage. <br /></div><div> </div><div><b>5. <u>Protest of Victim</u> </b>- Victim protests the behavior through a variety of means, only to be left with a hand full of ashes. The victim finds that there is no rug at all, and it was their own (perceived) foolishness that led to the whole debacle, and the process begins again. <u><br /><br /></u></div><div><b>6. <u>Replacing the Rug</u> </b>- The rug is replaced again and again, for as long as the victim will tolerate the behavior and fall prey to the game. <br /></div><div><br /></div><div><b>Pulling the Rug</b> requires two participants. There is the Rug Giver and Rug Puller. The Rug Giver gives the Puller the access through lack of awareness and deep inner wounds and unmet needs. </div><div><br /></div><div>The <b>Rug Giver</b> holds the power that the <b>Rug Puller</b> wants. If the Rug Giver wants to get out of the Gordian Knot of the game, then he or she must simply refuse to take the bait. The seductive bait is an intoxicating elixir of serotonin given in the form of deceptive emotional connection through false promises, soothing word salads and pretense. In more extensive, enduring cases, actions of self sacrifice may be taken by the <b>Rug Puller</b>, in anticipation for the ultimate sadistic tug and final pull of the entire rug, leaving the contents placed atop in shambles. <br /></div><div><br /></div><div>The game repeats <span><span data-dobid="hdw">ad infinitum, until the Rug Giver wakes up and sets boundaries, or the Rug Puller finds another target. The game is always a mystery, hidden under a cloak of covert possibilities. <br /></span></span></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>dotjennahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12476981215479729444noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454586518743810714.post-24676303032736309322022-05-21T08:59:00.001-07:002022-05-21T08:59:12.181-07:00Your Treasure Chest <p> </p><div>By Jenna Ryan</div><div><br /></div><div>I tell my coaching clients who are struggling. I
tell them, deep inside your being, there is a treasure chest of gold,
and that treasure chest is you, hidden under layers and layers of dirt.
This dirt is the lies that you believe about yourself from the messages
and words and actions you've received.</div><div><br /></div><div>Inside this treasure chest, bound by chains is a beautiful being. It's YOU. It's beautiful you
and the truth of who you are. This you is banging on the sides of the
chest, wanting to get out. This is the pain. The pain points the way to
your true self, so therefore, lean into the pain (through grief) and
allow yourself to go towards the pain and begin the process of digging
her out. Layer by layer, tear by tear, day by day.</div><div><br /></div>And
then she starts to realize who she is, and the chains break, and she
gets out of the chest, and she rises up out of the ashes and is able to
see truth clearly, and everything makes sense.dotjennahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12476981215479729444noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454586518743810714.post-69520952640453691402021-11-25T16:19:00.008-08:002022-04-17T13:32:14.575-07:00New Website - JennaRyan.com<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioI3WupPYJhEX_aew3XhDy8Tv0KbBlADbjf26AyVY7nRB-rTwUmIroSlMmmlUu9WzTyaW1D4FM86YGn_LzkvI4FatdLiVUTtd_V9HBJsEokYSVSYqt2hkMY49_b3TPq0_4Q3FakICdFVVB/s2048/Screen+Shot+2021-11-25+at+6.20.32+PM.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1048" data-original-width="2048" height="164" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioI3WupPYJhEX_aew3XhDy8Tv0KbBlADbjf26AyVY7nRB-rTwUmIroSlMmmlUu9WzTyaW1D4FM86YGn_LzkvI4FatdLiVUTtd_V9HBJsEokYSVSYqt2hkMY49_b3TPq0_4Q3FakICdFVVB/s320/Screen+Shot+2021-11-25+at+6.20.32+PM.png" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p>Visit my new website <a href="http://jennaryan.com/">Jenna Ryan.com</a> for the latest news about Jenna Ryan, books, podcasts, blogposts and more. </p><p> </p><p><a href="https://www.instagram.com/realjennaryan/">Jenna Ryan on Instagram</a></p><p><a href="https://www.firstplacerealestate.net/">Jenna Ryan Real Estate Agent</a></p><p><a href="https://www.firstplacerealestate.net/">Jenna Ryan Realtor</a></p><p><a href="https://www.firstplacerealestate.net/">Jenna Ryan Frisco Real Estate </a></p><p><a href="https://www.firstplacerealestate.net/">First Place Real Estate</a></p><p><a href="https://www.firstplacerealestate.net/">Jenna Ryan Realtor</a></p><p><a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIjkAuhe8yFngsHC6RHNBhw">Jenna Ryan YouTube</a> </p><p><a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYCO71btTHRO_mCYPkm_OzQ">First Place Real Estate on YouTube</a></p><p><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/jennaryanrealty/">Jenna Ryan LinkedIn </a><br /></p>dotjennahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12476981215479729444noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454586518743810714.post-32870261449055571502021-11-24T17:58:00.005-08:002021-11-24T17:58:54.881-08:00Mass Psychosis & Hypnosis<p> </p>
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/A8i6zv5zK3I" title="YouTube video player" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>dotjennahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12476981215479729444noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454586518743810714.post-23527634507216604332021-11-07T23:48:00.003-08:002021-11-07T23:51:24.324-08:00How to Deal with Hater Raids and Cancel Vultures and Woke Mobs in 2021<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJArd3PA7Iovf84mLCzOidlapEVigmWxew9MOVsvVwExqbMoxhT1Xk703n8q6uTfpAyryciLqQRxw08PX6APq_Jih6pqnmWtLJW7cYiNl3ElXuvpcdWd7T_P7ad5flhRxYdipGL8HNlgrK/s846/16642d8dc962653636fba270b55d84cd.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="846" data-original-width="564" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJArd3PA7Iovf84mLCzOidlapEVigmWxew9MOVsvVwExqbMoxhT1Xk703n8q6uTfpAyryciLqQRxw08PX6APq_Jih6pqnmWtLJW7cYiNl3ElXuvpcdWd7T_P7ad5flhRxYdipGL8HNlgrK/s320/16642d8dc962653636fba270b55d84cd.jpg" width="213" /></a></div><br />I am working on a process for dealing with <b>Haters</b> in the media, social media and in real life. <b>Haters </b>are people who disagree with you, don't like you, are offended by you, and they are trying with all their power to distract you and to cause you to doubt yourself. A hater wants you to give up, go away and vanish. A hater wants to crush you to a powder. The more you shine, the more the hater wants to stomp out your light. The hater is filled with envy, bitterness, resentment and likely misinformation about who you are and what you do. <p></p><p>Think of an online hater as a stalker. <b>Haters</b> ARE stalkers and they are harassing you, and potentially harming your business. Unfortunately, due to the current political climate, the internet is becoming increasingly hostile. Haters are a fact of life when you are famous, infamous, creative, or doing anything outside-of-the-box. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdBtEIMf4fk1q96sCqAdJt_uq91w2V-JziWcpv70pQzphgQniJs4xJkFQyqeeL8tEfQ59UGAEqmxBNpgPoyVLk25uD3TGYdwT5_5SB94XE8uYxjExBSMGr5HGAtNOzZjpXmDVb1ln3ClEA/s710/screen-0.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="710" data-original-width="710" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdBtEIMf4fk1q96sCqAdJt_uq91w2V-JziWcpv70pQzphgQniJs4xJkFQyqeeL8tEfQ59UGAEqmxBNpgPoyVLk25uD3TGYdwT5_5SB94XE8uYxjExBSMGr5HGAtNOzZjpXmDVb1ln3ClEA/s320/screen-0.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />The goal of the hater is to stop you, so your goal in dealing with haters is to NOT let them stop you, distract you or cause you to doubt yourself. Haters may also want you to conform to their way of thinking, feeling and believing about the world. Many haters are adverse to independent thought. Whatever the motivation of the hater, the same rules apply. Following is a list I'm creating for dealing with haters day-to-day on social media. <p></p><p>This list may become more important as the communist-style social ranking system is implemented in the United States and throughout the world. This social ranking system will grant haters more power than ever to destroy your reputation, your business and your peace. People who are wise will realize that you are special if you are being attacked by haters. It is a compliment--albeit a very annoying compliment--to be attacked relentlessly by haters. If haters hate you, it means you are doing something right. <br /></p><div><ul><li>Never, ever, ever respond to haters unless they have a legitimate concern about your work. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEip4XIEca3gQ2MIDdeBHqVoQommiSsPxZs076JhfrHqTAUh0gRN-nHxyhkrRr4oomclzSi8-npxOnI5E-dbyqyCPKuo4DTtUlA7DHoaJACcR0rQqM3KPjqeJ1bUTZn5t7AOPF6XEoTKGhiW/s768/poster-love-hate-768x752.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="752" data-original-width="768" height="313" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEip4XIEca3gQ2MIDdeBHqVoQommiSsPxZs076JhfrHqTAUh0gRN-nHxyhkrRr4oomclzSi8-npxOnI5E-dbyqyCPKuo4DTtUlA7DHoaJACcR0rQqM3KPjqeJ1bUTZn5t7AOPF6XEoTKGhiW/s320/poster-love-hate-768x752.jpg" width="320" /></a></div></li><li>Do not fight with haters on any platform (new rule) I know it's difficult, but stick to this. <br /></li><li>Do have united front. Do not answer haters without connecting with me and we will be creating<br />a united narrative that we want to distribute on my terms. <br /></li><li>Do not let haters distract you or take you off track, or keep you from producing your shows, music, content and message. <br /></li><li>Do not perform for haters in any way shape or form.</li><li>Do not create content for haters. <br /></li><li>Ignore haters, give them the silent treatment, go <b>NO CONTACT</b> with haters. </li><li>Act like they do not exist. <br /></li><li>Mentally reframe hatred from people on the internet. Take all hate as a compliment and use it to increase your reach and gain notoriety. <br /></li><li>If you are getting a ton of hate, this means you are doing something right. </li></ul><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIwRANoYw8OF3fryXZZhD4kzJc8Od0f_J_KRyi8ceFaNtKLQntQTTvRaV6TOucOcrWRkVw8h5IUs8B5EdTZotRaW5RSWZ2aagrmEdj9Wx6hvryika7XOmBpkwQKeeDeKWkFzm7g7Ro9yQ5/s768/quote-power-768x768.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="768" data-original-width="768" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIwRANoYw8OF3fryXZZhD4kzJc8Od0f_J_KRyi8ceFaNtKLQntQTTvRaV6TOucOcrWRkVw8h5IUs8B5EdTZotRaW5RSWZ2aagrmEdj9Wx6hvryika7XOmBpkwQKeeDeKWkFzm7g7Ro9yQ5/s320/quote-power-768x768.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><a href="https://www.notsalmon.com/2015/03/21/why-you-have-haters/" target="_blank"> https://www.notsalmon.com/2015/03/21/why-you-have-haters/</a><p></p><p> </p><p> </p></div>dotjennahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12476981215479729444noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454586518743810714.post-33353186000649768432021-11-06T09:15:00.003-07:002021-11-06T09:27:35.864-07:00Web Kindness.org <p>I'm creating a new non-profit organization called "<a href="https://WebKindness.org"><b>WebKindness.org</b></a>" that will be up and running as soon as my programmer completes it. This website will be dedicated to educating people about bullying, smear campaigns and manipulative web content. </p><p>This blog post will contain my tweets at my new Twitter account, <a href="http://Twitter.com/kindnessweb">http://Twitter.com/KindnessSeb</a></p><h2 style="text-align: left;">Tweets <br /></h2><div data-contents="true"><div data-block="true" data-editor="fbs1s" data-offset-key="ebndr-0-0"><div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr" data-offset-key="ebndr-0-0"><span data-offset-key="ebndr-0-0"><span data-text="true">Since I've been brutally attacked online, I have learned to use discernment when reading info. Anything that insults another person directly for superficial characteristics shows me it's a smear and the content is suspect. </span></span></div></div><div data-block="true" data-editor="fbs1s" data-offset-key="3tuis-0-0"><div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr" data-offset-key="3tuis-0-0"><span data-offset-key="3tuis-0-0"><br data-text="true" /></span></div></div><div data-block="true" data-editor="fbs1s" data-offset-key="c7ps6-0-0"><div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr" data-offset-key="c7ps6-0-0"><span data-offset-key="c7ps6-0-0"><span data-text="true">Jenna Ryan</span></span></div></div><div data-block="true" data-editor="fbs1s" data-offset-key="1cco0-0-0"><div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr" data-offset-key="1cco0-0-0"><span data-offset-key="1cco0-0-0"><br data-text="true" /></span></div></div><div data-block="true" data-editor="fbs1s" data-offset-key="3aem1-0-0"><div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr" data-offset-key="3aem1-0-0"><span style="color: #1d9bf0;"><span data-offset-key="3aem1-0-0"><span data-text="true">#smearcampaigns</span></span></span><span data-offset-key="3aem1-1-0"><span data-text="true"> </span></span><span style="color: #1d9bf0;"><span data-offset-key="3aem1-2-0"><span data-text="true">#webkindness</span></span></span></div><div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr" data-offset-key="3aem1-0-0"><span style="color: #1d9bf0;"><span data-offset-key="3aem1-2-0"><span data-text="true"> </span></span></span></div><div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr" data-offset-key="3aem1-0-0"><div class="css-1dbjc4n"><div class="css-901oao r-18jsvk2 r-37j5jr r-1inkyih r-16dba41 r-hbpseb r-bcqeeo r-bnwqim r-qvutc0" dir="auto" id="id__1qolll3hl2n" lang="en"><span class="css-901oao css-16my406 r-poiln3 r-bcqeeo r-qvutc0">Always get the whole story before making a judgment about another person. Not everything on the web is true. Some stuff is posted to inflame you and make you hate another person. It's called a smear campaign. Don't fall for it. </span><span class="r-18u37iz"><a class="css-4rbku5 css-18t94o4 css-901oao css-16my406 r-1cvl2hr r-1loqt21 r-poiln3 r-bcqeeo r-qvutc0" dir="ltr" href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/smearcampaign?src=hashtag_click" role="link">#smearcampaign</a></span><span class="css-901oao css-16my406 r-poiln3 r-bcqeeo r-qvutc0"> </span><span class="r-18u37iz"><a class="css-4rbku5 css-18t94o4 css-901oao css-16my406 r-1cvl2hr r-1loqt21 r-poiln3 r-bcqeeo r-qvutc0" dir="ltr" href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/webkindness?src=hashtag_click" role="link">#webkindness</a></span></div><div class="css-901oao r-18jsvk2 r-37j5jr r-1inkyih r-16dba41 r-hbpseb r-bcqeeo r-bnwqim r-qvutc0" dir="auto" id="id__1qolll3hl2n" lang="en"><span class="r-18u37iz"> </span></div><div class="css-901oao r-18jsvk2 r-37j5jr r-1inkyih r-16dba41 r-hbpseb r-bcqeeo r-bnwqim r-qvutc0" dir="auto" id="id__1qolll3hl2n" lang="en"><span class="r-18u37iz"><span data-offset-key="eif9f-0-0"><span data-text="true">"SMEAR LANGUAGE - Language that is used to disparage another person for their thoughts and opinions in effort to make others think they are less-than-human and less than they are. Smear language is objectification of another person and is manipulation & bullying."` - Jenna Ryan </span></span><br /></span></div></div><span style="color: #1d9bf0;"><span data-offset-key="3aem1-2-0"><span data-text="true"> </span></span></span><span data-offset-key="3aem1-3-0"><span data-text="true"> </span></span></div></div></div>dotjennahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12476981215479729444noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454586518743810714.post-19230113429054610652021-10-18T19:57:00.003-07:002021-10-18T19:57:56.929-07:00living with abusers <iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/K4YZoNxSZNU" title="YouTube video player" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>dotjennahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12476981215479729444noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454586518743810714.post-73875329799241220792021-10-18T15:59:00.003-07:002021-10-18T15:59:45.670-07:00rumination | combatting repetitive thoughts <iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/o1G4JFuLlO8" title="YouTube video player" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>dotjennahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12476981215479729444noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454586518743810714.post-13123885228444568342021-10-18T13:34:00.001-07:002021-10-18T13:34:10.864-07:00infantilisation | a regressive abuse <p> </p><iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/c39F04inLJ0" title="YouTube video player" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>dotjennahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12476981215479729444noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454586518743810714.post-84704785520163291182021-07-18T21:50:00.005-07:002021-07-18T21:53:14.516-07:00Flying Monkeys <p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvqvNGl6oGNodd_R-osX-UD2VG3HTBThiZ6HwuFWKBC7gu9POC6HYskG0IzXZ0_48a4r9GkmyQwVv0we4Ba4n-PSPcuAem9TnkkjsBWwTi4qMYVPKWOZtuj3E3FyElAjmbzkUWLOojC4HW/s1400/1-qK9834pIhlIEbdqTFCEbCw.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1134" data-original-width="1400" height="324" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvqvNGl6oGNodd_R-osX-UD2VG3HTBThiZ6HwuFWKBC7gu9POC6HYskG0IzXZ0_48a4r9GkmyQwVv0we4Ba4n-PSPcuAem9TnkkjsBWwTi4qMYVPKWOZtuj3E3FyElAjmbzkUWLOojC4HW/w400-h324/1-qK9834pIhlIEbdqTFCEbCw.png" width="400" /></a></div><p></p><p><a href="https://wingsofthedove.medium.com/the-cowards-behind-the-scene-b4d9727f5101" target="_blank">Flying Monkeys</a></p><p><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWHABscxaq2_4Ej6ri6642FYtqmoCG2h4VNt8R1le_vvT6X6VzCN_Feos-1pi1CZS8cVlftfK25mhYBKdB10iWc3h2eOoVfGbXxg_jAL8A_GWI1L6eKuRVUud3W1ac6y9gnh2BUIy2Bpjm/s648/Screen+Shot+2021-07-18+at+11.52.20+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="644" data-original-width="648" height="398" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWHABscxaq2_4Ej6ri6642FYtqmoCG2h4VNt8R1le_vvT6X6VzCN_Feos-1pi1CZS8cVlftfK25mhYBKdB10iWc3h2eOoVfGbXxg_jAL8A_GWI1L6eKuRVUud3W1ac6y9gnh2BUIy2Bpjm/w400-h398/Screen+Shot+2021-07-18+at+11.52.20+PM.png" width="400" /></a></div><br /><p><br /></p><p></p>dotjennahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12476981215479729444noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454586518743810714.post-2769459330793705732021-03-11T13:58:00.004-08:002021-03-16T22:13:13.338-07:00Isaiah 40:29, 30<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhU5FD3wxYIM84ny-Ha-dx0dVP6kZSHJ-IjcOqYuxnpuGxXUTdHiFFj5k6E-xZt77Qh0zHICZOoGKkPcYCwM_WRu5dQHJC738XUSWOcTvDkBFpcavFSRvQK-PHvrTWX8hLN_3MpGHuMF8Y6/s1080/isaiah-40_2931.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhU5FD3wxYIM84ny-Ha-dx0dVP6kZSHJ-IjcOqYuxnpuGxXUTdHiFFj5k6E-xZt77Qh0zHICZOoGKkPcYCwM_WRu5dQHJC738XUSWOcTvDkBFpcavFSRvQK-PHvrTWX8hLN_3MpGHuMF8Y6/s320/isaiah-40_2931.png" /></a></div><p></p><p><a href="https://jenna-ryan-photos.blogspot.com/">Jenna Ryan Photos</a> </p><p><a href="https://jenna-ryan-photos.blogspot.com/">Pictures of Jenna Ryan</a></p><p><a href="https://jenna-ryan-photos.blogspot.com/">Jenna Ryan Realtor </a></p><p><a href="https://jenna-ryan-photos.blogspot.com/">Jenna Ryan Real Estate</a><br /></p><p></p>dotjennahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12476981215479729444noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454586518743810714.post-77032489862539695742021-03-11T07:15:00.002-08:002021-03-11T07:15:16.122-08:00Holding Onto Your Truth when People Don't Approve of You<p>We all crave approval. We all want to be a part of a group. We want to feel as though we belong, and that we're loved and appreciated. It's natural to desire approval. The problem occurs when your identity is wrapped in what people outside of yourself think about you or your actions. It's important to stand your ground and maintain your personal integrity regardless of what others think of you or their perceptions of you.</p><p>There are times when people, family members or groups of people try to label you and degrade you and shower you with disapproval. This may make you feel ostracized. It may make you feel unloved, unappreciated, and unsupported, especially if the people who disapprove of you are vocal about it, spreading lies about you and engaging in smear campaigns to make you look badly. This can really hurt on a deep personal level, especially if you are a people pleaser already.</p><p>So the key is to be able to take flack, and to notice negative feedback, but not internalize negative feedback and smear campaigns into your identity. It's important not to take disapproval personally. Everyone has their own opinion and their own values. Sometimes your values will clash. Sometimes people will lie about you and smear you to others, and those people will believe everything they hear without knowing anything factual about the situation. </p><p>People may formulate negative opinions about you based on the gaslighting of other people, who try to paint you in a negative light by gossiping about you constantly. You cannot get people who believe lies about you or who have a bad opinion of you, or who are envious of you to like you. No matter what you do, people who are not on your side are never going to see the light through you pleasing them. You cannot prove yourself to people who are committed to having a bad opinion of you.</p><p>So what can you do when you stand your ground and others disapprove? The best thing you can do is support yourself and draw near to people who are supportive of you. Not everyone is going to like you, and that is okay. Not everyone will have your passion, and that is okay. Not everyone will have your drive and determination, and that is okay. You are who you are no matter what anyone else says. Stay true to who you are and take feedback with a grain of salt if it is hateful, defamatory and false. You are beautiful and no one can take that away.</p><p> Lot's of people will not approve of you if you are amazing; they may have reason to hate you for your good qualities. If that is the case, or if they're angry and nasty, then let them go. Or as the Bible says, "shake the dust off your feet". Open your heart to those you love and the things you love and continue to thrive where you are. Stay true to your values and give yourself room to make mistakes. No one is perfect, and we all have the right to be who we are in this world. </p>dotjennahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12476981215479729444noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454586518743810714.post-10303717270998304602021-02-25T13:47:00.001-08:002021-02-25T13:47:16.318-08:00Jenna Ryan Quotes - Communism & Collective Conscious<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKYwktDclKoIhVmN38NkxxVYoMghVgtyuoFte5Tiaw7JzYiHIxVlm2NunREqP_TEkIstyomSHkiKnqjTZAJpkONbP9V6F54IFq37z6uDq6K_yZ75M3kRuVrOEeNDs0x2RmZ9eSMH4IDp6J/s883/communism-collective-consciousness.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="629" data-original-width="883" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKYwktDclKoIhVmN38NkxxVYoMghVgtyuoFte5Tiaw7JzYiHIxVlm2NunREqP_TEkIstyomSHkiKnqjTZAJpkONbP9V6F54IFq37z6uDq6K_yZ75M3kRuVrOEeNDs0x2RmZ9eSMH4IDp6J/s320/communism-collective-consciousness.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p></p>dotjennahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12476981215479729444noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454586518743810714.post-48564403252029859832021-02-24T12:19:00.002-08:002021-02-24T12:19:26.161-08:00How to Handle Being Brushed Off By People Who Don't Approve of You<p>There may be times in your life where you're brushed off, dismissed, ignored by people who you feel do not approve of you for one reason or the other. This can create a bit of cognitive dissonance, whether you're a people pleaser or not. It feels like you're being ostracized when a person acts rejecting towards you. and doesn't treat you with open arms and kindness. </p><p> If you feel like you're guilty of doing something wrong--or you feel like that person thinks you've done something wrong, you may take their actions personally.You may feel a sense of shame for being who you are; you may feel compelled to prove yourself to that person and try to earn their respect.</p><p>Stop right there. You cannot earn anyone's respect if they've already made up their mind about you. It's impossible. You cannot change someone's opinion of you if they choose to see you in a negative light. Trying to change their mind digs a deeper hole for you. Trying to change their mind makes you act in ways that make them one-up and you one-down. Balance is not found in a relationship where you're trying to prove yourself. </p><p>If you find yourself tempted to try to prove yourself to another person, take a step back. Think about it. This person has an opinion of you based on their own perception, which has nothing to do with who you are as a person. If that person cannot see you objectively, without the imprint of their own projections, then that is not your problem. At the end of the day, you are who you are--a beautiful person--and you are worthy of love and respect. </p><p>You have to know that from within and expect it from others, no matter what the media, social media, your neighbors or haters say about you. You have to know that you are a person of integrity, honor and value and that you do not have to convince a single soul that you are worthy. </p><p>If someone chooses to see you as beneath them for whatever reason, save your breath trying to show them otherwise. You will be wasting your time. They are the ones having a problem in their viewpoint. You are still you and you can still shine and you are still amazing regardless of anyone else's opinion. At the end of the day, people who treat you poorly aren't worth proving yourself to anyway.</p><p>Say goodbye to proving yourself to others. You are worthy just as you are; even if Joe Blow thinks you suck. He doesn't know you, and ultimately, he doesn't have anything to do with your life. Live your life the best you can. Keep progressing and putting out good into the world. </p><p>Points to keep in mind:</p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Other people's opinions do not define you in any way.</li><li>You can achieve your goals and dreams without the approval of others.</li><li>Disapproval from another person is their problem, not yours.</li><li>If someone doesn't approve of you, it's not your fault--don't take it personally.</li></ul><p>Don't let people who disapprove of you stop you.<br /></p><p>You approve of you and that's all that matters.</p><p><br /></p>dotjennahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12476981215479729444noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454586518743810714.post-78674717657828873892021-02-06T16:49:00.003-08:002021-02-06T16:52:01.565-08:00Jenna Ryan is Not a Terrorist <p></p><p>From "<a href="https://givesendgo.com/Jennaryan">Free Jenna Ryan</a>" </p><p><br /><b>Jenna Ryan</b> is raising money for her legal defense. She was at the Capitol on Jan. 6th 2021 to peacefully protest against election fraud. She did not commit violence, but rather was praising the Name of Jesus at the gates of the powerhouse of the world. The media is smearing her without due process. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOobSFmJoZRSED5v12pVZBfG7XQk3KwslI-R8LJ0WOUyqYtqXg5qtuGWCzAaMTPSjk8MKSpIz6ep0sGYzjq7gGsipI_4h_rpPEjwidNxoPE3Gok5rLe7G-tOV36CvAOocue9xNbUAvnbe4/" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="138" data-original-width="292" height="151" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOobSFmJoZRSED5v12pVZBfG7XQk3KwslI-R8LJ0WOUyqYtqXg5qtuGWCzAaMTPSjk8MKSpIz6ep0sGYzjq7gGsipI_4h_rpPEjwidNxoPE3Gok5rLe7G-tOV36CvAOocue9xNbUAvnbe4/" width="320" /></a></div> Jenna is not a terrorist but a freedom loving Patriot who needs your help. Her legal bills are high. She needs an adequate defense at trial in Washington DC against false accusations. She willingly sacrificed her name, image and business to speak out for what she believes in--the flag, freedom and the USA. <p></p><p> Jenna is not living in fear, but is filled with peace and joy. God is blessing her with courage and strength, hope and resolve. Your prayers are appreciated, needed and requested. </p><p>God is good and He will supply all our needs according to His riches and glory. Philipians 4:19 Thank you for your contribution and I pray that God will richly bless you in your giving. IN JESUS NAME. Amen. </p><p>****************************************************** </p><p>Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you. Matthew 5:10, 12
</p>dotjennahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12476981215479729444noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454586518743810714.post-40758725583873996602020-07-27T10:07:00.002-07:002020-07-27T10:30:52.988-07:00Research for My First Book...
This blog post contains research needed for my first book that I'm writing. Exciting times!
I found this website and thought I would share. Would also like to have it here on my blog for a deep dive later. Lots of valuable thoughts, concepts, quotes, etc...
https://sites.google.com/site/empathytraininglitreview/benefits/healing
You deserve the best, the very best, because you are one of the few people in this lousy world who are honest to themselves, and that is the only thing that really counts. Freda Kahlo
Pain, pleasure and death are no more than a process for existence. The revolutionary struggle in this process is a doorway open to intelligence. Freda Kahlo
dotjennahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12476981215479729444noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454586518743810714.post-9111490038335932912019-12-13T17:14:00.002-08:002019-12-13T17:14:43.685-08:00How to Steer Clear of the Narcissist Snake Pit / Drama FieldMark my words. I'm coining this phrase. "Drama Field" deals with narcissistic type of games, drama, etc... Stay away from it for your own health!
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/lijkwDcT680" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>dotjennahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12476981215479729444noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454586518743810714.post-55634188620665120692019-12-11T09:52:00.000-08:002019-12-11T09:52:01.290-08:00Beware of Overly Nice People Who Try to Bust Your Boundaries <iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/F-aBM4xsQNE" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>dotjennahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12476981215479729444noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454586518743810714.post-57486847235331627792019-12-04T14:54:00.002-08:002019-12-04T14:54:51.117-08:00The Narcissist Cons You Into Believing You're Worthless <iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/mMQK1h5nCvI" width="560"></iframe>dotjennahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12476981215479729444noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454586518743810714.post-50038963584104989432019-09-26T16:05:00.000-07:002019-09-26T16:05:25.221-07:00Differentiation & Healing from Attachment Trauma <br />
This is amazing content I am reposting, courtesy of the following Instagram Page: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/wiseheartpdx/" target="_blank">@Wiseheartpdx </a><br />
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<b>THIS IS NOT MY ARTICLE. IT IS COPIED FROM INSTAGRAM POST!!! </b><br />
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<b>IT'S SUPER GOOD!!! </b><br />
<h1 class="_7UhW9 fKFbl yUEEX KV-D4 fDxYl " style="border: 0px; caret-color: rgb(38, 38, 38); color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 28px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 32px; margin: -5px 0px -6px; overflow: hidden; padding: 0px; text-overflow: ellipsis; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: nowrap;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHuuxZpsV_bYW6rEigUJ6AXbpINvHx_4AtfoNo3DAxOVhoaS6D_k4-C-rwTThoHoVzqcV4lJ1rp3Jq1ZgHE8vlxPUFeIZr3OsZHtAIC1kxg_kSY7UFV9hdJZmAfq732-m1cPUkwSk3_FLr/s1600/Screen+Shot+2019-09-26+at+6.00.34+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="512" data-original-width="510" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHuuxZpsV_bYW6rEigUJ6AXbpINvHx_4AtfoNo3DAxOVhoaS6D_k4-C-rwTThoHoVzqcV4lJ1rp3Jq1ZgHE8vlxPUFeIZr3OsZHtAIC1kxg_kSY7UFV9hdJZmAfq732-m1cPUkwSk3_FLr/s320/Screen+Shot+2019-09-26+at+6.00.34+PM.png" width="319" /></a><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , "blinkmacsystemfont" , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">"From a process orientation, differentiation is an active, ongoing process of connecting to and honoring your own experience, acting in integrity with your values, and engaging in collaboration with others to meet needs. When differentiated, you are able to identify your needs and preferences in any given situation and to speak up for them when necessary. You regularly and explicitly clarify boundaries. You are able to manage the reactivity and discomfort that comes from either risking greater intimacy or potential separation and conflict. ⠀</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , "blinkmacsystemfont" , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">⠀</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , "blinkmacsystemfont" , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Differentiation could be described as being who you are in the presence of who they are. If you are someone who thinks you are more connected to yourself and happier when you are not in an intimate relationship, you may have developed your individuality but likely have difficulty with differentiation.⠀</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , "blinkmacsystemfont" , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">⠀</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , "blinkmacsystemfont" , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Here are some core skills and behaviors that signify and support differentiation to cultivate and watch for:⠀</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , "blinkmacsystemfont" , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">⠀</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , "blinkmacsystemfont" , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">1. Groundedness and clarity about your identity; confidence in your innate goodness and lovability⠀</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , "blinkmacsystemfont" , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">⠀</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , "blinkmacsystemfont" , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">2. Self-awareness, self-empathy, self-regulation/soothing remain accessible and consistent throughout a given day⠀</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , "blinkmacsystemfont" , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">⠀</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , "blinkmacsystemfont" , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">3. Self-responsibility: an ability to share unmet needs without blame, criticism, or demands⠀</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , "blinkmacsystemfont" , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">⠀</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , "blinkmacsystemfont" , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">4. An ability to meet differences with with respect, curiosity, empathy, or celebration⠀</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , "blinkmacsystemfont" , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">⠀</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , "blinkmacsystemfont" , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">5. An ability to listen with empathy in interactions you perceive as difficult or challenging⠀</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , "blinkmacsystemfont" , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">⠀</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , "blinkmacsystemfont" , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">6. An ability to make changes within or to end relationships in which collaboration and mutual respect are not met⠀</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , "blinkmacsystemfont" , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">⠀</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , "blinkmacsystemfont" , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">7. Consistent engagement in activities and behaviors that support your thriving⠀</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , "blinkmacsystemfont" , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">⠀</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , "blinkmacsystemfont" , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">8. Having multiple trusted strategies to meet any given need; not expecting to meet any need with just one person or one strategy ⠀</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , "blinkmacsystemfont" , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">⠀</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , "blinkmacsystemfont" , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">9. A consistent sense of meaning and purpose⠀</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , "blinkmacsystemfont" , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">⠀</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , "blinkmacsystemfont" , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">10. A consistent and confident sense of autonomy and agency ⠀</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , "blinkmacsystemfont" , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">⠀</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , "blinkmacsystemfont" , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">11. An ability to express authentically while considering the needs of others and risking conflict ⠀</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , "blinkmacsystemfont" , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">⠀</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , "blinkmacsystemfont" , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">12. Mindfulness practice: noticing your experience with compassion; having an ability to identify your intention, feelings, needs, and requests in any given moment</span>dotjennahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12476981215479729444noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454586518743810714.post-79027002066464994622019-08-07T16:09:00.000-07:002019-08-07T16:10:41.883-07:00Glossing Over Disrespect<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEig3cIsLy3HcP29h-CM0E1OZrrGJdx5hvl8vYtRmE3Zv5iJalgcK9hiudNzMMHE6mPlxJUHdm-yAtuUPSGFJ5hXOz2hiKVHY3FlrKXZnPXUx9X6rgJmP7ea50VCe54KnEjXU7Xq6pyjkUWE/s1600/89881907-close-up-of-golden-shiny-glossing-glitter.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="866" data-original-width="1300" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEig3cIsLy3HcP29h-CM0E1OZrrGJdx5hvl8vYtRmE3Zv5iJalgcK9hiudNzMMHE6mPlxJUHdm-yAtuUPSGFJ5hXOz2hiKVHY3FlrKXZnPXUx9X6rgJmP7ea50VCe54KnEjXU7Xq6pyjkUWE/s320/89881907-close-up-of-golden-shiny-glossing-glitter.jpg" width="320" /></a>When you are prone to entertaining narcissistic behavior in others, you are a people pleaser, a doormat, or any version of the same, you are probably used to glossing over disrespect in your close personal relationships. It comes with the territory.<br />
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<b>GLOSSING OVER DISRESPECT</b><br />
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Here is an example of a typical narcissist / empath interaction:<br />
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<b>STEP 1. Toxic disrespect. </b><br />
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This is where the narcissist, codependent or otherwise toxic person disrespects your personal boundaries. The toxic encounter is one in which the toxic person tries to use you as an extension of themselves by doing things, displaying behavior that shows blatant disregard for your feelings, rights, limits and boundaries. Examples include:<br />
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<ul>
<li>Criticizing you.</li>
<li>Giving you unwarranted advice.</li>
<li>Talking about a subject that is unpleasant in attempt to make you feel negative.</li>
<li>When a friend or acquaintance reprimands your child in your presence.</li>
<li>Your parent did something abusive to you repeatedly in childhood. </li>
<li>Any abusive behavior.</li>
<li>Talks about a subject you do not wish to discuss.</li>
<li>Continues behavior toward you that you have requested they stop doing.</li>
<li>Tries to talk you into doing something you don't want to do.</li>
<li>Talks behind your back.</li>
<li>Talks down to you.</li>
<li>Brags to you.</li>
<li>Makes a promise repeatedly, then lets you down.</li>
<li>Betrays you in any way.</li>
<li>Brings up your private secrets in public.</li>
<li>Makes a post on social media of a photo of you that you asked them not to post. </li>
</ul>
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<b>STEP 2. You Get Upset / Hurt / Angry</b></div>
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The next part of this toxic interaction is when you get upset due to the actions and behaviors of the toxic person. You are upset because your boundaries have been violated. Your anger and disdain is warranted--that's what this emotion is for; to tell you when you are being crossed or hurt. </div>
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<b>STEP 3. You Set a Limit </b></div>
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Next, you let the person know you are not okay with their behavior. You may ask them to stop. You may ask them to apologize, you may set a limit or a boundary. You let the toxic person know loudly and clearly that this behavior is intolerable. </div>
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<b>STEP 4. The Narcissist Stonewalls You</b></div>
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The toxic person doesn't want to discuss the issue! The toxic person does not want to hear anything you have to say. As far as the toxic person is concerned, YOU are wrong for being angry at them for hurting you. (See how twisted?!?!) The toxic person stonewalls you for daring to challenge their sense of entitlement. </div>
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They feel entitled to act in a way that harms you--they feel entitled to commit personal fouls toward you. In the mind of a toxic person, you have zero rights. Your only role in their life is to serve as a pleasing mirror, or a fawning doormat. Any reflection that you are individual, different or separate is unacceptable to the toxic person, narcissist or psychopath. </div>
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You're just not allowed to have your own feelings. Your own feelings are so offensive to the toxic person, they feel abused when you are angry or hurt from their actions!</div>
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<i>Some narcissists will covertly stonewall you--not letting you know they are doing it by still being available, or acting remorseful, but not actually feeling what they are portraying. This is a special kind of narcissist, that is of the most hidden type. </i></div>
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<b>STEP 5. You Try to Repair the Relationship </b></div>
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Feeling fearful, obligated or guilty (FOG), you decide to make steps to re-engage with the abusive person. Maybe you are fearful you will never find a lover so good, or a friend so fun, or maybe you're afraid of living life without being close to your mother, father, extended family. Maybe you feel socially obligated to be a nice person, or maybe YOU actually believe the gaslighting of the narcissist and think that you are the actual problem...</div>
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Maybe you reacted so strongly, that you are blaming yourself for the entire ordeal. Maybe you are questioning your own rights to set limits. Maybe you had a conversation with another unhealed empathy and he or she told you to repair the relationship. Maybe you felt lonely, guilty, or just felt a void from the person missing in your life--so you take the first step to repair the relationship, or you accept the abuser's attempt to repair the relationship with you. After all, that's what friendship is all about! Right? WRONG. </div>
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But we'll get to that later...</div>
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<b>STEP 6. You Don't Deal with the Original Issue</b></div>
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Now you move on, happy-go-lucky, but you never did resolve the original issue. You never came to terms with the narcissist about your right to exist, your right to matter, your right to have feelings, your right to set boundaries. </div>
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As far as the narcissist is concerned, it is 100% okay to disrespect you. You never dealt with the issue. You never called them out directly after your first signal of anger--instead, you chose the higher road and chose to remain friends, or lovers, or family... </div>
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You move on! You feel better! At least you have a friend. At least you have a lover. At least you have a family. Why not let "bygones be bygones?" After all, it is much better to be with a toxic person that to not be with anyone at all. Right? WRONG. </div>
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But we'll get to that later... </div>
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<b>STEP 7. You Have Signed An Unspoken Contract to Be Less Than </b></div>
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When your emotions signal that a person is disrespecting you and you let them know, and they ignore you, and then you remain friends without getting square on the original issue that caused your negative emotion, and you do not stand up for yourself, you are signaling socially that you are an underling.</div>
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If you are an empath, you know in your heart that there is no true underling, and you will gladly do what it takes to serve and love and get along. However, to the narcissist, your agreement to be an underling puts you in a less than position. It states the following:</div>
<div>
<ul>
<li>You do not have the right to call-out the narcissist. </li>
<li>Your feelings do not matter.</li>
<li>Your needs to be seen, heard and understood go out the window.</li>
<li>You do not exist. </li>
<li>You must put-up or shut up. </li>
</ul>
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You may think things have moved on, but things will never be the same. Once the narcissist has put you in a headlock and you continue to go along with the relationship, you are officially a puppet. You have agreed to be less than.</div>
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You may not realize this is happening because you are playing by different rules than the narcissist. You may allow this to happen subconsciously. You may allow this to happen because you are unaware of the dynamics of healthy relationships. You may allow this to happen because you were taught to accept this behavior in relationship and don't know of any other way. Whatever the reason that you go into this unspoken contract, you are in it whenever you allow a person back into your life without dealing with your own personal discomfort that resulted from their unrepentant behavior. </div>
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<b>Results of the Process of Glossing Over Disrespect </b></div>
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I think I'll stop this process at 7 because I really like the number 7, and I will continue with the topic of <b>Glossing Over Disrespect</b> with discussing what happens when you allow disrespect to be glossed over in your relationships. You become a pUpPeT. Here's what happens:</div>
<div>
<ol>
<li>You become controlled by the person who is able to be one-up above you.</li>
<li>Your relationship is officially unequal. </li>
<li>Your needs come second to the needs of the abusive person. </li>
<li>Your future interactions with this person become one sided.</li>
<li>You no longer have an identity in the relationship.</li>
<li>You agree to become an extension of the abusive person.</li>
<li>You agree that it is okay for you to be hurt and disrespected. </li>
<li>You stay in relationships that are abusive, toxic and unhealthy for you. </li>
<li>You forfeit your rights in exchange for a relationship with someone who plays a superior role. </li>
<li>You lose your voice, your right to say no or set boundaries. </li>
</ol>
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You may think you are better off allowing the abusive person back in your life. You may think life is better with this person rather than being alone, but what you don't realize, is that this toxic pattern is a lesson for you to learn. There are better ways of being and relating that do not require you to give up yourself and be a doormat. There are more effective ways of living on the planet with other humans than becoming a puppet who is controlled and externally validated. </div>
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<b>How You Become Controlled When You Gloss Over Disrespect</b></div>
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The narcissist dynamic is all about power and control--it is not about real love, authenticity, truth and respect. A toxic relationship is one in which you are controlled. When you fail to stand up for your rights and you continue to tango with an abusive person, you are giving up your power and control to this person and they are taking it. This is what is referred to as narcissistic supply. The narcissist loves empaths who are willing to give themselves up in response to their entitled demands.</div>
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If you can't stand up for yourself because you have an unspoken agreement with the narcissist that you don't exist, then you have given yourself over to the narcissist. If you don't exist, then you must ask the narcissist's permission to exist and are slowly whittled away into less than you ever thought possible.</div>
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Moral of this article? Stand up for yourself. Stay away from toxic people. When you learn how healthy relationships work and steer clear of toxic relationships, your life will be happier, and it will be worth the pain and loneliness of moving away from abuse. Good luck! </div>
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dotjennahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12476981215479729444noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454586518743810714.post-82259855513745579812019-08-07T10:40:00.001-07:002019-08-07T10:40:16.052-07:00Love Equals Respect <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjl1EL_rvWaVXNrtZD8VIJNnyICBAwMByBXRNkPYr86kj06dsPogwl99hdNxQmBoR-H6GXsKibyIhABkuqqifg1zBvSGuUxgMXZTCVZS98_RIHz-P_YwoLQryx4DFa45jFU0AwrHkd-Fa-W/s1600/Screen+Shot+2019-08-07+at+11.21.18+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="596" data-original-width="598" height="319" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjl1EL_rvWaVXNrtZD8VIJNnyICBAwMByBXRNkPYr86kj06dsPogwl99hdNxQmBoR-H6GXsKibyIhABkuqqifg1zBvSGuUxgMXZTCVZS98_RIHz-P_YwoLQryx4DFa45jFU0AwrHkd-Fa-W/s320/Screen+Shot+2019-08-07+at+11.21.18+AM.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Respect in relationship occurs in the flow of defining who you are and how you feel. If you are engaging with someone who refuses to make behavior adjustments In accordance with your moderate emotional comfort, or at least acknowledge that you have a right to feel disappointment, frustration, anger or any of your feelings... This shows a lack of respect for your humanity. This is not okay and is considered unempathetic and disrespectful. Someone who respects you and treats you well is going to make Room for your feelings, boundaries, requests. They're not going to stonewall, gloss over the subject or demand that they are right. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">A person who is capable of Loving is capable of seeing when they may be wrong. They are capable of self reflection. They can apologize or they can discuss the hurt feelings of another without feeling threatened. Loving someone unconditionally requires that you allow them space to exist Separately from you. You are not responsible for their feelings and when they hurt your feelings you can express yourself safely and be validated by them.They meet your needs to be seen, heard and understood. That is love.</span><br style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><br style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">This takes maturity that some people do not have. Some people cannot love because they cannot give you space to be, they must always be right and they cannot see things from your perspective because they don't have </span><a class="" href="https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/empathy/" style="border: 0px; color: #003569; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">#empathy</a><span style="background-color: white; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">.</span><br style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><br style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">If you come across a person like this it's better to keep your distance. Wish them well in love and light. You cannot change them or teach empathy. Being in a relationship with a person who does not give you space for your feelings, boundaries, makes you externally controlled; it is </span><a class="" href="https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/enmeshment/" style="border: 0px; color: #003569; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">#enmeshment</a><span style="background-color: white; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">--toxic. You are not responsible if your boundaries hurt them. It is your responsibility to take care of your own sense of self and stay on your own side of the fence. You cannot control how other people feel if your existence hurts them. That's </span><a class="" href="https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/codependency/" style="border: 0px; color: #003569; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">#codependency</a><span style="background-color: white; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">. Even though it hurts to walk away, you must do so for your own integrity.- Jenna Ryan 8/9/2019</span><br style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><br style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><a class="" href="https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/truth/" style="border: 0px; color: #003569; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">#truth</a><span style="background-color: white; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"> </span><a class="" href="https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/truthbomb/" style="border: 0px; color: #003569; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">#truthbomb</a><span style="background-color: white; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"> </span><a class="" href="https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/love/" style="border: 0px; color: #003569; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">#love</a><span style="background-color: white; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"> </span><a class="" href="https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/respect/" style="border: 0px; color: #003569; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">#respect</a><span style="background-color: white; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"></span><a class="" href="https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/friendshipquotes/" style="border: 0px; color: #003569; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">#friendshipquotes</a><span style="background-color: white; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"> </span><a class="" href="https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/friends/" style="border: 0px; color: #003569; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">#friends</a><span style="background-color: white; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"> </span><a class="" href="https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/lovers/" style="border: 0px; color: #003569; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">#lovers</a><span style="background-color: white; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"></span><a class="" href="https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/relationshipquotes/" style="border: 0px; color: #003569; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">#relationshipquotes</a><span style="background-color: white; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"></span><a class="" href="https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/relationshipgoals/" style="border: 0px; color: #003569; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">#relationshipgoals</a><span style="background-color: white; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"> </span><a class="" href="https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/relationships/" style="border: 0px; color: #003569; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">#relationships</a><span style="background-color: white; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"></span><a class="" href="https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/selflove/" style="border: 0px; color: #003569; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">#selflove</a><span style="background-color: white; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"> </span><a class="" href="https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/selfloveu/" style="border: 0px; color: #003569; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">#selfloveu</a>dotjennahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12476981215479729444noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454586518743810714.post-57955443223966898692019-07-11T19:24:00.000-07:002019-07-11T19:24:47.790-07:00Texting When You're Angry<div style="caret-color: rgb(28, 30, 33); color: #1c1e21; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
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My new rule is, if you can't call a person up to say something, don't text it. If it's inappropriate to call and say out loud, then it's inappropriate to text. The important thing to remember is keeping the relationship intact, or making a level-headed decision to set a boundary, or end it if necessary. You must treat the other person with respect, and you must love yourself enough not to push them away. </div>
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Reacting from anger<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: inherit;"> is a trigger that causes your system to go into fight or flight, and anything you say will only put up walls and trigger the other person to react from their own story. It's not like the recipient will say, "Oh hey, I suck! You're right." </span></div>
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You have to communicate for a Win-Win. It's not functional to text in anger. Functional relating requires you to hold the other person at the same high-level in which you hold yourself, even when you don't agree or they hurt you. Anything less is toxic. You can't control anyone but yourself. </div>
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You can be mad, but those are your feelings. You can't control anyone with angry texts. You can't fix it. You can only deal with your own emotions and make decisions based on clear-thinking, not fight-or-flight.</div>
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So if I've ever texted any of you in anger (friends), I'm growing out of that habit. Now that I realize it's not effective, I think it will be easier to put the phone down, journal or call a supportive friend. Reactivity really is about YOU, not the other person. <span class="_47e3 _5mfr" style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 0; margin: 0px 1px; vertical-align: middle;" title="heart emoticon"><img alt="" class="img" height="16" role="presentation" src="https://static.xx.fbcdn.net/images/emoji.php/v9/t6c/1/16/2764.png" style="border: 0px; vertical-align: -3px;" width="16" /><span aria-hidden="true" class="_7oe" style="display: inline; font-family: inherit; font-size: 0px; width: 0px;"><3</span></span></div>
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dotjennahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12476981215479729444noreply@blogger.com0