The Fake Giver is one who pretends to be a giver, much like the malignant narcissist who flatters during the idealization stage. The Fake Giver pretends to be on your side, like they care about you, like they have empathy, like they have mounds of generosity in their soul, only to grab everything back like a stingy miser once they have you fooled.
The Fake Giver hooks you with the pretense that they care about you. If you're a giver like me, you are prey to people who will use and abuse you using covert tactics where they dangle the carrot of promised return in front of your face. Unfortunately, the return never comes and if you're naive to these types, you may end up with a negative balance of your own self esteem and removed from the path towards your highest good.
The hook is the way The Fake Giver pretends, fawns over you, offers you a ride, likes one of your photos on Facebook, sends you flowers, helps you move, calls every day... These actions are trust points that weaken your defenses and leave you open as easy prey for the unscrupulous pretenders out there.
- Overly enamored with you early on in relationship - If it's too good to be true, it usually is.
- Gives and then pulls back - This is intermittent reinforcement.
- Says things to get you to fall in love with them.
- Gives you products to entice you to purchase something.
- Pretends to be your friend, but has secret agenda.
- Makes offers to make themselves look good, while knowing that you would never accept.
- Buys you gifts or does selfless things for you without your reciprocation. (won't last)
The Fake Giver uses your love, kindness, compassion, empathy and neediness against you. He or she hooks you with intermittent reinforcement and other manipulative techniques. Before you know it, you find yourself obsessed with gaining the attention of one of these selfish weasels. Learn to recognize the Fake Giver. Start by confronting the lies during the emotional abuse grooming process (early on) to prevent being taken off track.