Pain Brings Growth

By Sherrie Campbell, PhD

Life's pain invites us into developing ourselves into better, healthier, more realized people. That is the purpose of all pain. It is when we are in pain that we feel the most vulnerable and out of control. But, it is in our pain that we lose ourselves to find ourselves. The three most important things we need to be healthy are self-love, self-knowledge and self-control. Life's pain brings with it the opportunity for knowledge. We can gain knowledge through our painful times in ways that we could not gain it in any other way because when we are in pain we question ourselves, we question our choices, we question our relationships and the people we have chosen. It is easy to lose focus and resort to trying to control those outside of us to somehow ease our pain by having them feel responsible to fix it. We cannot control anyone outside of us and if we try we are not demonstrating self-control we are being manipulative. Being emotionally disciplined means keeping your stuff as your stuff. No one can really give you answers that will make you feel closure. Closure can only come from within when you decide to get deliberate and take control of fixing your own grief and your own sadness. Self-control is a way to emotional mastery. It doesn't mean you don't sob and cry, get angry or feel fear. It simply means that you have the self-control not to act these out on another person in an effort to make them responsible for you. You learn to take care of your own emotional business. This is maturity. This is self-loving. When you have self-control you begin to trust yourself and take care of yourself knowing you can get through whatever it is. The truth is always within you... so stick to you and love you and all your answers will come. They come in the silence.