Tuesday, July 19, 2016


Codependence is a way of adapting to a childhood where your needs are unmet. It is the state of emotional immaturity. There is a lot of confusion about what it means to be codependent. You either are or you're not. You aren't codependent with one person and not with another. 

Admitting that you're codependent is the first step to healing. Owning up to your part in the drama triangle is required for healing. Blaming other people for your responses and reactions is the pathway to bondage. You have to stand up and own your own reactions and admit that you are part of the codependent dance... and also that your thinking patterns are codependent in that you try to get your worth externally. 

Just like a narc is always a narc, a codependent is always a codependent, until he or she gets healing. The narc is harder to heal because they don't admit they have a problem. The codependent who refuses to come out of denial is also on a rough road to healing. Recovery is about facing reality. You can only heal by letting down your defenses, facing the truth and seeing your own problem--and taking action to improve your own responses, behaviors, thought patterns and relationship choices. 

Codependence is about trying to get your worth externally. See this article 100 Traits of the Codependent.

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