Thursday, July 21, 2016

100 Ways to Break Codependent Thought Patterns

My last article, 100 Traits of Codependence, I gave you a list of codependent traits. This article will explore 100 ways to break the habit of codependent thought patterns. Codependency is an adaptation to a neglectful childhood environment where your dependency needs were not met. As an adult, it's crucial for you to reparent yourself and condition yourself to seek value internally where it really is, instead of externally where it definitely is not.
  1. Reparent yourself to think in more healthy ways.
  2. Get involved in CODA meetings (Codependents Anonymous) online or offline.
  3. Read books that encourage you to let go of codependent thought patterns.
  4. Meditate to learn to detach from your obsessive, compulsive thoughts.
  5. Learn to seek God of your own understanding and align with the source that is within you.
  6. Reach out to people who are healthy, kind and nurturing towards you.
  7. Seek real friendships over social status. 
  8. Take care of your inner child by allowing your inner voice space and room to exist.
  9. Listen to inner child meditation videos on YouTube.
  10. Read books about healing your inner child.
  11. Meet your own unmet childhood dependency needs by nurturing yourself.
  12. Let go of harmful people.
  13. Allow yourself to feel your feelings.
  14. Allow yourself to feel the pain and sit with the pain when you let someone you are addicted to go.
  15. Take responsibility for your life and stop blaming those mean narcissists, family members, etc...
  16. Set boundaries externally and internally.
  17. Withdraw from abusive relationships to protect your inner child from unnecessary pain.
  18. Stand up for yourself against bullies.
  19. Distance yourself from hurtful people.
  20. Open your heart to kind people.
  21. Close the door to on again, off again relationships.
  22. Refuse to tolerate disrespect in any way from any one. 
  23. Seek to meet your own needs.
  24. Seek to give yourself what makes you happy, what you want.
  25. Get educated on Codependency.
  26. Reduce the toxic shame you feel in all areas of your life. 
  27. Do exercises to reduce the power of your own inner critic.\
  28. Reframe your existing thought processes telling you that you're worthless with positive self talk.
  29. Reduce perfectionism with self talk that gives you kind space to be human, to be imperfect. 
  30. Become aware of what you're saying to yourself over and over again that causes negative feelings.
  31. Get a counselor online or offline. 
  32. Get involved in a support group.
  33. Learn to listen actively to others without taking on their problems.
  34. Learn to feel.
  35. Learn to express your feelings with safe people.
  36. Reach out and take risks by daring to share your truth with others.
  37. Give yourself more credit, encourage yourself, give YOU a pat on the back.
  38. Be nice to yourself.
  39. Do the things that bring you joy.
  40. Focus on what you want, not on what you don't want.
  41. Break down childlike thought patterns of wishful thinking, tunnel vision, catastrophizing.
  42. Break down your own defenses such as projection, repression and denial.
  43. Be honest with yourself about your own contribution to your situation.
  44. Focus on yourself. 
  45. Put your needs first.
  46. Put space between you and other people that are way to close to you now.
  47. Set boundaries with people who annoy you.
  48. Terminate relationships with abusive people.
  49. Engage in I AM Statments and positive affirmations about your worth, value and competency.
  50. Refuse to partake in the drama triangle with other people.
  51. Figure out your values and learn to make decisions for your life based on your value system, not the values of other people.
  52. Dare to think for yourself and to live the life that you choose.
  53. Terminate toxic relationships with family members who are controlling or abusive.
  54. Detach from the emotional process of others.
  55. Keep a journal describing your feelings and recording your progress.
  56. Try art journaling in order to help your inner child express pent-up feelings of pain, sadness, despair, helplessness, hopelessness.
  57. Grieve your losses from childhood and the losses you've endured from being abused as a child.
  58. Face the fact that you were abused as a child if you're experiencing codependent patterns as an adult.
  59. Face that fact that even though you thought you had a happy childhood, that something was missing if you are codependent today. 
  60. Admit that you are codependent and that you need help to recover.
  61. Engage in affirming self talk whenever you find yourself comparing yourself to others for external attributes.
  62. Learn to be happy for other people who have good qualities, rather than feeling worthless for the good qualities of others.
  63. Meditate to get in touch with your true self. 
  64. Try body recovery with yoga, dance, boxing, working out, running, etc...
  65. Stop yourself from incessant complaining or whining.
  66. Let all your feelings out in a safe environment (counseling, with a close friend, self discovery).
  67. Rebuild yourself from the inside out by being your own best friend and reparenting yourself. 
  68. Turn your life over to your higher power.
  69. Recognize the negative voices in your head and figure out where those voices came from and put those voices in their place.
  70. Realize that you are an adult now, that it's 2016 and you have resources you did not have as a child, so you're capable of so much more today than ever before.
  71. Respect the boundaries of others.
  72. Make amends to those people who you have hurt.
  73. Make a personal inventory of yourself, including your character defects and your qualities. 
  74. Figure out where you are abandoning yourself by taking care of others, then meet your own needs no matter how painful it is to face the truth and let go.
  75. Take time away from relationships to get the healing you need inside.
  76. Stop judging people for who they are, and for being different from you.
  77. Start to notice the ways in which you regularly put yourself one-down or one-up in your relationships.
  78. Pay attention to the way you feel inside when someone is talking to you.
  79. Stop shaming yourself for every little thing that you do. 
  80. Pay attention to shaming self talk and overcome it with these words, "I am worthy even though my car breaks are squeaking." or "I am worthy even though that woman has abs of steel."
  81. Keep away from negative people who make you feel like crap.
  82. Walk away from a conversation in which you feel put down and without personal power. 
  83. Own your own value and worth by allowing yourself to be happy and enjoy life.
  84. Break the patterns of the past by focusing on positive, happy thoughts. 
  85. Think on your own without deferring to the dogma of other people or institutions. 
  86. Figure out the difference between when you're engaging in a codependent way verses a healthy, interdepedent way.
  87.  Say no when you mean no and yes when you mean yes.
  88. Live your life with integrity.
  89. Do not gossip about other people. If you have a problem with someone, go to them directly or if that won't help, then terminate the relationship.
  90. Detach from controlling and manipulative people.
  91. Relax and destress.
  92. Stand up and walk on your own two feet.
  93. Stand up and walk away from anything that takes more than it gives.
  94. Catch yourself in your compulsion for people pleasing behaviors. 
  95. Protect yourself with boundaries.
  96. Set limits for yourself internally.
  97. Practice good self care.
  98. Keep your personal business to yourself and do not share with unsafe people.
  99. Have compassion for hurtful people, but don't hang out with them.
  100. Have compassion and acceptance for yourself. 

No comments:

Post a Comment