Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Self Soothing | Self Talk

Group Member: One of my exes, did this and that and the other... turns out me and my friend are texting the same guy... Now I'm upset and I want to befriend my ex again...

Jenna Ryan So you're upset and you need to soothe yourself but you don't know how... So you're going to put your vulnerable soul on the line by using a guy as a construct of your ego? That's not self love. That's setting yourself up for rejection. I feel sad to hear this.

Jenna Ryan When you're upset you need to soothe yourself (reparenting) with healthy, nourishing techniques and self talk. The last thing you need to do is be rejected by your ex.

I recommend that you practice Self Soothing

Group Member: Thank you Jenna Ryan. Very helpful!! I screen shotted it all on my phone. I believe my ex is going to reject my idea to hang out together.. 

Jenna Ryan Miss (    ) that's not what your inner child needs. She's crying out to you and it is abandoning to her for you to ignore and reject her tears and instead send her out to be eaten by the wolves of your exes who have already proven they're no good for her (you). It is your responsibility to take care of the little girl inside and not run to men for validation, love, care and comfort. You have it inside of you to do this for yourself, you just need to know how, then you need practice.

Jenna Ryan It hurts me so badly to know that you do not realize that you have the capability to soothe your own soul. This is something you should have been taught, but instead someone robbed you of this knowledge. It literally makes me want to cry because I know how badly it hurts and I lived with that pain since I was little. Thank goodness I've been healed. 

Group Member:  I don't even cry from it anymore.. I used to drink it away but that led to more problems. Maybe I should allow myself to cry once more.

Jenna Ryan Yeah. You've numbed yourself to it. The good news is that you can learn it now while you're young and save yourself all the years I had to go through it. Many wasted years!!! Also, let me tell you. The way you're feeling and stuff is not the way it has to be. There is healing that can be yours if you seek it. Your life would be completely better, all the things you want, if you learned yourself and healed yourself, all those things would come true. Life is beautiful and meant to be enjoyed. That's the secret people don't realize.
Group Member:  Jenna, sometimes it's hard to imagine life on the other side. I've been addicted to love since age 12, now I'm 22. I wouldn't say I've had many healthy relationships.

Well, start self soothing instead of friending your ex. :) 

Group Member: I will do whatever it takes to get out of this mess I've been stuck in.

Jenna Ryan The first time I did this self soothing thing, it freaked me out. I had been healing and dealing with my wounds, then I started going into a shame spiral one day... like I always did for years, feeling bad, putting myself down, reminding myself of how bad my life was, saying I was just going to fall down the pit and DIE. I actually caught myself saying this!!! Then, all of the sudden, driving down the road in Frisco, Texas, I heard a voice in my own heart say, "NO YOU WON'T." It was the sweetest, most loving voice I'd ever heard. It was MY OWN VOICE INSIDE. I couldn't believe it. My kind voice cradled me. It caught me. It stopped me from falling. This was the most beautiful experience... This voice speaks to me every day now. It's beautiful and you need to find your own. 

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