Friday, June 20, 2014

Attraction is a feeling. Love is a Promise

by Grenville Phillips, president of Walbrent College. ( 

The most common source of problems in relationships is that the couple misinterpreted their mutual feelings of attraction as love. This normally results in the couple trying to keep up appearances after about 5 years, and wondering where the love went. It is important to know that attraction is an emotional feeling that may fade, while love is a promise that has nothing to do with attraction. Love is a promise to do 4 things.

1. To accept everything that you know and do not know about her now.

2. To accept her regardless of what happens in the unknown future as you both age - for better or worse, richer or poorer, sickness or health for as long as you both shall live. Even if she is disfigured by an accident or crippled by illness, you accept her.

3. To forgive her later. Since neither of you is perfect, you both depend on each others' forgiveness.

4. To encourage her to improve. This 4th one gives purpose to your relationship - otherwise it will get boring.

If you are both ready to make and keep these promises to each-other, then you are ready to love. When you keep them, you demonstrate your love for each-other. After you formally make your promises at your wedding, you complete or consummate these promises with sexual intercourse.

Every time that you subsequently have sexual intercourse, you reinforce your promises – it is truly a wonderful and mutually satisfying experience. If you have sexual intercourse before making your promises, then you show her that you are capable of justifying forsaking her for a younger, shapelier rival when she gets older. If you are able to restrain yourself when your attraction for her is at its highest, then you show her that you are capable of resisting the rival that will inevitably come.

Source: Attraction is a feeling. Love is a Promise.

No comments:

Post a Comment