Thursday, June 8, 2017

Listening to Your Intuition

INTUITION: The ability to understand something immediately, without the need for conscious reasoning. (Google)

It's vital that you learn to listen to your intuition. Your intuition is your number one defense against abuse from others. Your intuition speaks to you loudly and clearly, but you cannot hear it unless you've been taught to hear it.

You are born with instincts. You are born with an intuition. Along the way, you can lose track of this vital tool that is yourself, that protects and guides you in myriad ways. You are born with feelings. Your intuition IS your feelings. Your feelings tell you exactly where you are at all times, however, many of us are dismantled from our intuition as children in our development.

Reasons We Ignore Our Intuition
  • We are taught that our feelings don't matter.
  • We were fooled into believing the illusion that other people know what is best for us.
  • We continue to act as though our feelings don't matter.
  • We ignore our feelings as unimportant, stupid, crazy, wrong. 
  • We seek out the advice of others because we don't trust ourselves. 
  • We don't want to rock the boat. 
  • We have negative core beliefs about our worth and value.
  • We were invalidated as children and we continue to invalidate ourselves today.
  • We invalidate our gut feelings. 
  • We need love so much, we're willing to abandon ourselves. 
  • We were taught that our intuition is wrong, faulty, incorrect.
  • We were taught to put the feelings of others ahead of our own.
  • We were unplugged from our intuition by people who wanted us to serve their needs.
  • We were taught to disregard our intuition by parents who wanted to control us.
  • We were taught to disregard our intuition by an abusive upbringing.
  • We were taught that our feelings are stupid, shameful and should not exist.
  • We were taught to put the intuition of manipulative people ahead of our own.
  • We were taught by our culture that we should follow the group. 
  • We were taught by the church to think our feelings are bad and that we are sinful.
I am sure there are other reasons why you may have unplugged from your intuition. That's all I can think of right now, and you get my gist. I'm saying that your intuition is like an alarm system, a guidance system rolled into one. Your intuition is who you are and without it, you can't function properly.

Typical Advice to Ignore Your Intuition
  • Get over it. (Total selfish disregard of your need for understanding of your feelings)
  • You're too sensitive. (Gaslighting you in effort to make you question your truth)
  • You're too needy. (Blatantly shaming you for your feelings)
  • It's not about you. (Trying to guilt and shame you for your feelings)
  • I don't know where this is coming from. (Like your feelings are alien)
  • You live in the past. (Like 5 minutes ago when you were bashed, doesn't matter anymore)
  • I don't know what you're talking about. (Gaslighting, denial of truth)
  • Don't cry or I'll give you something to cry about. (Emotional Abuse)
  • I'm sorry you took it that way. (Invalidation of your feelings) 
Reconnecting with Your Inner Truth

Getting in touch with your intuition is about getting in touch with your feelings. This requires work for most of us. Because in the way of getting in touch with your feelings, there may be a lot of grief work that needs to be addressed. You will also need to deal with loads of toxic shame that took the place of your true self as you were being denied a voice.

Your intuition is the backbone of your voice. Your ability to speak up for yourself and set boundaries and limits with others is guided completely by your intuition. You have to learn, or re-learn how to attune to your intuition if you were abused as a child, or treated improperly, or neglected in any way, or if you failed to properly move on to autonomy through your developmental years. You will have to attune to your intuition by knowing your true feelings, and then taking action to protect yourself.

Your intuition is your first line of defense in this world. It will tell you IMMEDIATELY when something or someone is not right for you. Your intuition will protect you from abusive people. It will keep you safe and keep you on the right track; helping you progress to your highest potential.

What I've learned about my intuition throughout my healing journey is to heed it. No matter what, I've learned to go with my intuition above all things I see, hear with my senses. No matter how good something seems, if my intuition is ruffled, I know that the situation is not for me. I've learned to listen to my intuition and set boundaries around myself when my intuition feels a certain way.

When you get to know yourself, you start learning how you feel when things aren't right. You track your experiences, your inner feelings through the mindfulness process. You track what's going on... And you protect yourself by walking away from a situation, or doing a fire drill, bringing out extra security officers (in your head) and really sitting back and slowing down.

Example: I was intrigued by an opportunity to go on a nice trip to Costa Rica with a relatively well known speaker. It was to be a fabulous trip with daily yoga, workshops, site seeing, and a room with an ocean view. I was very interested and seriously considering going on the adventure. However, when I contacted the organization, the woman who served as the intake person was rude, dismissive and arrogant towards me. She was talking down to me and she was unhelpful and unfriendly. I could feel anger welling up in my otherwise peaceful heart. I'd had an amazing day... Yet, this woman's series of emails were getting increasingly disrespectful. She was pressuring me and failing to answer simple questions.

BOOM. That was all the information I needed to know. My intuition told me. STOP. Do Not Go! I realized that I could complain to her superiors. However, I intuitively knew that this was my own heart giving me warning to stay away from this organization altogether. It is my internal guidance system telling me that this is the wrong way to go. Period. I've probably saved myself a lot of grief, disappointment and abuse.

Now, there is a chance that this organization will contact me with niceties and try to start over with me again, however, I will not accept anything from them. My intuition has already given me the warning. I've learned the hard and long way that when I get that gut reaction about something, or involvement with someone, that I need to listen to my heart and STAY AWAY. Even if it means passing up an opportunity for growth, even if it means passing up a relationship, even if it means walking away from someone or something. If my intuition speaks like that--so clearly, I know it's time to walk away and focus on something more fruitful.

What a wonderful gift it is to be cued into your intuition!

What a wonderful gift it is to be able to walk away from anyone, anytime who is disrespectful to me!

What a wonderful gift it is to be myself and follow my own path!

I think this is a valuable lesson. I am learning more every day to stop, feel, listen and take action on my gut reactions, even when I'm being Love Bombed, even when it may seem inappropriate for me to not attend an event. It's valuable that I please myself, and live by my own values and truth. May you do the same.

  • My feelings matter.
  • My feelings are correct.
  • My feelings deserve consideration.
  • My feelings guide me along my path.
  • My feelings need to be experienced.
  • My feelings need to be considered.
  • My feelings need to be expressed.
  • My feelings are who I am.
  • My feelings serve as a fire alarm for my life.
  • My feelings will never lead me astray.
  • My feelings are right.
  • My feelings are worthy of my trust.
  • My feelings deserve room to exist.
  • My feelings are normal.
  • My feelings are my intuition. 
Your feelings protect you from abuse. Your feelings warn you. Your feelings keep you from being a doormat if you listen to your own heart and take action. Taking action involves first becoming aware of your true feelings, and then validating your own feelings. You have to back yourself up and believe in your own feelings before you can trust your intuition. Your gut feelings will always tell you when someone or something is wrong for you--even if it seems so right. You know the truth--you just need to listen to it.

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