Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Dumb Things That Offend the Narcissist

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  • A topic that you want to discuss.
  • You having rights. 
  • You feeling confident.
  • You feeling confident to determine what topics to discuss in your relationship.
  • You looking good.
  • Your life being great. 
  • You talking about your accomplishments.
  • You talking about what is important to you.
  • You discussing things you like such as art, intellectual pursuits, your travels.  
  • You discussing your emotions.
  • You sharing details of your life.
  • You having close relationships with others.
  • You enjoying your life. 
  • The way you hold your paint brush.
  • The way you cook dinner. 
  • The way you dress.
  • The way your sweatshirt has big giant lips on it.
  • The way you talk about a certain issue.
  • The way you're on your own path or course. 
  • The way you achieve at work with accolades and promotions. 
  • The way you perceive their manipulative actions as negative.
  • You being a separate person with separate needs.
  • You needing anything from them emotionally.
  • You calling them out on their bad behaviors. 
  • When you let them know you don't like something they do.
  • The way you live your life.
  • Your choice of religion.
  • Your choice of friends.
  • Your choice of jobs, careers, education. 
  • Your need for love, guidance, support. 
  • Your happiness. 
  • Your fulfillment.
  • Your self focus.  
  • You not buying into their agenda of whatever or whomever THEY think you should be. 

Depending on the type of narcissist you are involved with, this blood-sucking vampire may behave or react in the following ways to your "offense."

  • Silent treatment.
  • Gaslighting - Telling you that reality is something that it's not. 
  • Acting emotional, like you've just said the most hurtful thing ever when you said nothing negative to them at all. 
  • Raging 
  • Stonewalling 
  • Stealing your emotional mojo / focus. 
  • Making outrageous accusations. 
  • Give you a guilt trip.
  • Divert the argument.
  • Try to make you feel wrong or bad or ashamed. 
  • Take the side of someone who is against you.
  • Accuse you of doing them harm where no harm was done or intended. 
  • Playing the victim. 
  • Belittle you.
  • Refuse to acknowledge your ideas, or whatever you're discussing.
  • Act as though what you're saying is trivial.
  • Act as though what you're saying is disgusting, ridiculous and offensive. 
  • Monologues 
  • Attacking you.
  • Attacking others who have the same attributes as you.
  • Acting like they don't understand and need endless clarification.
  • Repetitive negative conversation patterns that don't do you any good. 
  • Asking you for something, help, emotional support.
  • Ranting and raving
  • Bringing up negative topics. 
  • Acting out, going on a tailspin, being a hot mess. 
  • Telling you what to talk about.
  • Shaming you for being yourself. 
  • Reminding you of a past mistake when you're at a high point.
  • Reminding you of a past mistake when you're at a low point.
  • Ignoring you.
  • Being distracted while you're talking.
  • Failing to validate your reality by active listening. 
  • Refusing to meet your needs.
  • Sulking.
There are many more things to add to both of these lists. Can you think of more??? 

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