You Already Are...

YOU ALREADY ARE the person it takes to achieve your goals. You just need to remove everything in your mind that tells you your not. Remove all resistance. Remove all doubt. Stop thinking habitual thoughts of failure. Allow your brilliant self to shine. Allow your Higher Self to align with truth. Allow yourself to receive the blessings. Get out of your own way. Visualize yourself as you truly are--a baller, shot-caller, today, this moment, right NOW.

You Create Your Own Reality

If you don't know that you are the creator of your own reality, that you are the director (and actor) in your own personal movie called "Your Life, then you go into default, where life just gives you the negative crap you think about.

Accentuate the Positive

By Jenna Ryan
 
Humans are problem solvers. We're evolving and advancing. When we see a circumstance or a person, our first inclination by default is to see what's wrong, to see what needs to be fixed. Most of what we see in others is what we don't like in ourselves. We can't bare to see junk in ourselves, so we project it onto others and hate them for it. The problem is, looking at the problems causes us to attract more problems into our lives. It's called a rut. Our attention/intention/focus is where we bear fruit. If you sow by looking at only the negative aspects, you will reap negative fruit. However, if you train your mind to focus on the positive in everyone and everything, with appreciation and gratitude, then you're not only loving yourself by not projecting gunk all over the place, but you're loving everyone else which boomarangs back to you--AND you are attracting more positive into your life. If you sow gratitude and appreciation, you will reap more of that which you're thankful for. So make lists of the positive things about others.... Bask in gratitude and greatfulness. This is what I'm remembering and focusing on today. It's going to be an AMAZING DAY!!!

You Already Have It

The peace you want, the joy you want, the contentment you want, the attention you want, the affection you want, the love you want--you already have it. It's all inside of you. If you've ever had the ability to feel blissfully in love, that feeling is still inside of you. If you've ever had the the experience of feeling utterly safe and content, you still have that too--on the inside of you. Every feeling, every state, every way you want to feel is inside of you...

You don't have to wait for the perfect circumstances to tap into these feelings within your heart. The only reason you are not experiencing ultimate bliss is because you've told yourself you can't have it. You've put restrictions on these feelings, exalting some outside accoutrements and denigrating others.

Sure, certain things in our lives bring great joy, peace and satisfaction, such as success and intimacy, but the feelings that such states invoke are inside of you and in your control. You can tap into such feelings if you free your mind to experience what you want RIGHT NOW.

Everything is a projection. The manifestation of our lives is a projection of what we allow. Our mindset, beliefs and thoughts frame our world. We assign value to different states and occurrences. If we want to tap into blissful feelings today, we must only change what we tell ourselves about the values of external forces. We can learn to be joyous in everything, even in our trials. After all, we are in control of our thoughts, and we are in control of the values we place on the input.

Facing reality is paramount. Much dissatisfaction comes from wishing things are different. Reality is what it is, we can't control it. We can, however, control how we react to it, and when we change ourselves to appreciate what is, we can also assign value to that which is. We have control of what's inside of us.

When we live peacefully, hopefully and gratefully in our present reality, things around us WILL start to change. Our vibrational patterns, or level of faith rises when we are free from discontent. As our energy rises to higher levels of knowing, we begin to attract things in our life that match where we are, almost as if by magic.

Your life is where it is because of what you're telling yourself about reality. You tell yourself you must have this or that in order to be happy, so you stay sad today. When you live like this, all the Universe brings to you is more of the same sadness. It brings you what you want, and obviously if you're telling yourself your sad because you don't have what you want, then sadness is what you're choosing. We choose our external circumstances by the thoughts and subsequent feelings we have about our existing situation. Be sure to *Think Up* to *Rise Up* to the next level.

You have everything you need to live the life you've always dreamed of... the only problem is getting out of your own way, using insight to see where you're drawing negativity to yourself with your thoughts. It's time to be free of all the conditioning of negative nay-sayers. You are in control, your perception is your reality. You create your world and choose how to think and feel.

Realize your power. Realize who you are. No, it's not easy to face reality, but the sooner you do, the sooner you can master yourself and create your own existence. Everything you want, everything you need, everything you ever wanted is already on the inside of you. You create your world. You are creating your world right now! Take time to gain insight as to how your thoughts, and your understanding of how you control your thoughts make or break your life. You are in control. You create your reality.

Ways to Abandon Yourself

What does it mean to abandon yourself? Many people who have issues with self love have a tendency to abandon themselves and give up who they are very easily. But what does that mean? You are you, so how can you abandon the person that you are? I thought it would be helpful to have a list to get started. In the coming months we will be delving into this theme continuously. It's time we bond and connect to our true selves and stop abandoning ourselves. We need to keep hold of who we are so we can live our best lives.

Ways to Abandon Yourself

• Ignoring your inner voice.
• Allowing opinions of others to change your mind and/or direction.
• Allowing actions of others to make you feel guilty or ashamed. 
• Denying or minimizing your feelings.
• Not paying attention to yourself, your needs, your health.
• Eating candy and junk when you're hungry for nutrients.
• Smoking, drinking or taking drugs.
• Not speaking up for yourself.
• Not standing up for yourself.
• Allowing your own defenses to block your progress.
• Using your energies toward anything not conducive to your highest good.
• Ignoring the cry of your heart to improve or change in any area.
• Disregarding your qualities.
• Judging yourself as less than another.
• Doubting yourself.
• Blaming yourself.
• Dissociating from reality.
• Denying your true feelings.
• Dimming your sparkle to make another comfortable.
• Putting up with disparaging treatment.
• Ignoring yourself. 
• Sabotaging your success.
• Focusing on the feelings, actions of another person.
• Trying to control the perceptions others have of you.
• Trying to prove yourself or win approval.
• Daydreaming too much; fantasizing.
• Being obsessive, compulsive or delusional.
• Being bombarded with excess shame.
• Having an external locus of control.
• Lacking in self care and self compassion.
• Lacking boundaries. 
• Chasing after someone who rejected you.
• Expecting the worst.
• Thinking the world is a bad place. 
• Having to be in control.
• Being perfectionistic.
• Beating yourself up for mistakes. 
• Negative thinking. 

5 Ways to Stay Open Despite Rejection

By Pam Garcy, PhD
My Inner Guide.com
 

Just sharing some midnight thoughts with you about how REBT-CBT can help you survive if you happen to live with a very open heart...Using REBT and CBT to live with a more open heart, despite rejection.

Have you ever extended yourself, made yourself vulnerable, and then been rejected by another?

As a child, one of my influences was the late Dr. Leo Buscaglia & I loved his messages about being willing to take risks & be open about love.  Once in a while, after listening to Leo on PBS and embarking on our weekly visit to Luby's, I'd even ask my mom if we could invite lonely looking strangers to sit at our lunch table so that the strangers wouldn’t have to be all alone. Sometimes she'd even let me & how glorious it was to make a new friend and decrease the loneliness of another!

Even still, as a supposedly more mature adult, my heart often & almost always directs me to be just a little bit more open & take those risks which I'd call living from my heart.

When we listen to this courageous part, we find that we can have a radically open hearts. Yet, even in the spirit of love, kindness, caring, and compassion, I have inner conflict about the topic.  For example, I recently cared so much about a client, and I really wanted to check on the person.  I had to turn inward and really ask, “Do I call this person, leave this message, send this e-mail?” 

I certainly want to be thoughtful about what I do. The logical part of me does not want to scare another or do anything that could be deemed professionally inappropriate. I am fully aware that it is a privilege to be someone’s therapist, not a right & everyone is different.

But, within these boundaries, I find that the general pattern of my self-direction would be to say “yes” when it comes to me to extending myself in a loving, warm, open, and often expressive fashion. This open-book transparency isn’t always cool to everyone, my friends tell me. And sometimes in the aftermath of my openness, my knowledge of REBT has led me to realize that I need to do some solid shame-attacking, to balance out the feeling like my heart was breaking!

So, how can one live with a very loving and open heart, knowing that not everyone desires to receive this?   REBT says to live without shame.  And the shameless answer is, “Love on and learn to live with rejection.”

Here are 5 things REBT teaches which will allow you to love on despite rejection:

1. You may label yourself as a reject when you get rejected. Just because someone rejected you, this doesn’t mean you are a reject–you are simply a person who has had an experience of being rejected. Avoid rating your entire personhood based upon what happens to you!

2. There are definitely many worse things than being rejected. Think about it, feeling unloved, being treated like you're goofy, or being ignored by someone you love; sometimes when you do what feels right to you, you can still get rejected, fail to get the love you want, end up being treated like a goof, or get ignored. If you avoid lableing this as awful, you’ll cut down the pain a lot. To anti-awfulize, remind yourself that there are so many worse things that could have happened to you & start dwelling on what is still good, right, and okay in your life.

3. You may say that you shouldn’t feel what you feel, but you do feel what you feel, therefore you actually should feel as you do. To clarify, of course you’d prefer to feel better, but you feel as you feel because you think as you do! Until you think differently, you will feel as you feel, so demanding that you feel differently won’t change how you feel; it’ll just make you feel worse. Accept how you feel and know that it is exactly fine for now. If you’d like to change it, work on your distorted thoughts.

4. If you’re still standing, then you can stand whatever it is you’re saying you can’t stand!

5. You may be really outwardly expressive & not receive that beautiful expression of your love in return from the person you expressed it to. This may provoke thoughts in you such as “no one loves you back”. First of all, how do you know that no one loves you back? Second of all, sometimes people are in different head-spaces and heart-spaces, so they can’t or won’t express their love back ever & often won’t express it back right when you want it. Third of all, are you ignoring evidence that there are those who have told you they love you back?

When you feel badly, you’re more likely to spit out cognitive distortions. This is called emotional reasoning by David Burns, M.D. You basically think worse of yourself when you already feel badly emotionally.

So, dear ones, keep this in mind, keep working on your distortions, and keep living with a full heart and open mind.

Love to you all,

Pam Garcy, PhD

My Inner Guide.com