Ways to Abandon Yourself

What does it mean to abandon yourself? Many people who have issues with self love have a tendency to abandon themselves and give up who they are very easily. But what does that mean? You are you, so how can you abandon the person that you are? I thought it would be helpful to have a list to get started. In the coming months we will be delving into this theme continuously. It's time we bond and connect to our true selves and stop abandoning ourselves. We need to keep hold of who we are so we can live our best lives.

Ways to Abandon Yourself

• Ignoring your inner voice.
• Allowing opinions of others to change your mind and/or direction.
• Allowing actions of others to make you feel guilty or ashamed. 
• Denying or minimizing your feelings.
• Not paying attention to yourself, your needs, your health.
• Eating candy and junk when you're hungry for nutrients.
• Smoking, drinking or taking drugs.
• Not speaking up for yourself.
• Not standing up for yourself.
• Allowing your own defenses to block your progress.
• Using your energies toward anything not conducive to your highest good.
• Ignoring the cry of your heart to improve or change in any area.
• Disregarding your qualities.
• Judging yourself as less than another.
• Doubting yourself.
• Blaming yourself.
• Dissociating from reality.
• Denying your true feelings.
• Dimming your sparkle to make another comfortable.
• Putting up with disparaging treatment.
• Ignoring yourself. 
• Sabotaging your success.
• Focusing on the feelings, actions of another person.
• Trying to control the perceptions others have of you.
• Trying to prove yourself or win approval.
• Daydreaming too much; fantasizing.
• Being obsessive, compulsive or delusional.
• Being bombarded with excess shame.
• Having an external locus of control.
• Lacking in self care and self compassion.
• Lacking boundaries. 
• Chasing after someone who rejected you.
• Expecting the worst.
• Thinking the world is a bad place. 
• Having to be in control.
• Being perfectionistic.
• Beating yourself up for mistakes. 
• Negative thinking. 

Uncovering Perfectionism

What a relief!!! Perfectionism seeps into the crevices of life, lurking in places you never realized. Some people are perfectly sloppy or perfectly messed-up... It's not just for those with clean houses and tight bodies. Look for it any time you find yourself feeling unworthy. Perfectionism is you striving to attain approval from an internal construct that lives in your mind from childhood somewhere; it's a negative core belief based on a lie you accidentally swallowed. Maybe it was passed-down? People deny it all the time. 

The need to be perfect may seem to benefit you, of course, or you wouldn't do it--but in the end, it ravages your life and leaves you destitute. Any time I'm feeling off, I search my thoughts for hidden perfectionism... What mistakes am I afraid to know about? What humiliation am I avoiding by hiding my weaknesses? You'd be surprised where you'll find it. Uncovering it and exposing your true self underneath is liberating, but takes work and practice. Every day I have to remind myself--"Face it, you're not perfect and you never ever will be, so stop holding yourself back and just be who you really are..." It takes A LOT more courage to be you than it does to be perfect.