Self Love Beyond Pain

If your SELF is filled with pain, you may reject that pain (not wanting to feel it) and along with it, you reject parts of yourself. Think about it. Your emotional pain is attached to--bound to--parts of YOU. Have you ever considered that the emotional pain you hide, deny and reject actually consists of some good stuff too? Like a dirty shirt that just needs a good washing...

Inner discomfort is attached to parts of you that you need. Parts of you that need you. When you run from pain, it's like refusing to clean your house. Pain is not as scary or bad as you imagine. Your feelings of hurt are often a signal that there is something you're ready to face, to heal from and to overcome.

You may try to medicate your pain with addictions. You may run to anything outside of yourself... drugs, alcohol, another person, love, sex, gambling, work, the internet.. Anything to distract you and to keep your mind off the nagging pain at the pit of your chest. The pain which is, in fact, your True Self crying out for attention, time and understanding.

Only YOU can answer the cry of your heart. It may feel like the pain will resolve once you fulfill your fantasy of wholeness that your pain has projected like an oasis in your heart, but that is a lie. The only way to stop the pain is by facing it, feeling it, processing it and letting it go. Once you do, you find pieces of you that the pain was holding onto. Pieces of you that are valuable. Pieces of you that you need. Pieces of you that deserve your own honor, attention, respect and love. Forgotten pieces of your very own self that you've left by the wayside because it was intertwined with pain.

Pain is anything other than complete Self Acceptance. Anything other than joy and jubilation at the thought of your existence, your day, your life. Pain is anything that interferes with fulness and wholeness. That pain must be cleared out, accepted, acknowledged and grieved. Stuffing your pain down only leads to depression and physical symptoms. It's only by being honest with ourselves, and brave enough to face the truth of our own discontent, that we can begin to reconcile ourselves inside.

Pain will not be denied.

J. Ryan
July 2013

Control vs. Loving Action

Today, put two sticky notes wherever you are that say: "What am I trying to control or avoid?" and "What is the loving action toward myself - what is in my highest good?" Whenever you feel any stress, ask these questions and allow the answers to come through you from your higher Self.
Are you aware of how you treat yourself that causes some of your stress?

Dr. Margaret Paul, Inner Bonding

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This week, be on the lookout for the overt and subtle ways you try to control your feelings and control others feelings and actions. Take all judgment off being controlling so you can learn. How do you avoid your feelings? How do you try to get others to like you or do what you want? While the wounded self believes controlling bring safety, it actually causes much distress within yourself and within relationships, so noticing it gives you the opportunity to be loving to yourself and others rather than controlling.  

Dr. Margaret Paul, Inner Bonding

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Anger at others is often a projection of some way you are not taking loving care of yourself. Use your anger to learn, not to avoid.

 

Dr. Margaret Paul, Inner Bonding

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Inner Bonding

I love the work of Dr. Margaret Paul of Inner Bonding. Her writing and insight are extraordinary and touch the center of those suffering from self worth deficits. Here are a few of her posts that speak to me today.

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Do not be dismayed when you find yourself facing the same issues over and over. We all experience this - it is just different levels of the same soul's lessons. Each time, embrace the issues with compassion.

Have you found the same issues coming up over and over?

Dr. Margaret Paul

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Open to learning about what your anxiety is telling you about your false beliefs & about trying to control what you can't control. Dr. Margaret Paul

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You are a great gift, a child of God. Your soul is love. When you discover this, you will know who you are and why you are here. Dr. Margaret Paul

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What is more important to you, safety or aliveness? What is more important to you, safety or intimacy? What is more important to you, safety or integrity? What is more important to you, safety or courage?

What is more important to you than safety?

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One  of our biggest challenges is to let go of trying to control what we cannot control. Accepting what is, is what brings inner peace. Dr. Margaret Paul

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Anxiety and control are intricately linked. When our intent is to control that which we cannot control - others and outcomes - we will always feel anxious. Our anxiety is telling us that we are off base - that we need to take loving action for ourselves rather than continue to try to control.

By Dr. Margaret Paul
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One of the most important questions you can ask throughout a day is "What loving thought or action is in my highest good right now?"

 

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We all want connection, but we can't connect with others when we are  disconnected from ourselves. Love yourself, then share your love. DM

Inner Bonding Tag - Washington Post