Thursday, May 4, 2017
How to Sink a Love Bomb
You set boundaries (internally and externally - physically and energetically) and ultimately, you feel better being yourself. You don't need the escape that the love bomber pretends to offer as they groom you to be their source of narcissistic supply. You see right through their attempt to set you up so they can let you down, or exploit you in some other way.
You grow and you learn that these love bombers tap into your wound, your fantasy place from childhood neglect. They steal away your inner child. Appear to meet the unmet childhood dependency need, however, this is a child's fantasy that can never be fulfilled, therefore, you must grieve the fantasy. They always let you down with the discard phase. So it's important to protect yourself by taking care of yourself emotionally. This means you must GRIEVE the fantasy of getting all your validation needs met externally. Grieving allows you to take the loss and move forward. Grieving helps you to see reality as it really is, not through the eyes of you as a helpless child.
You can nurture yourself. You can save yourself by facing the emotional truth BEFORE you encounter a love bomber. You can count your own losses without having to face it again and again through repetition compulsion.
Grieve the fantasy to see the truth of this love bombing ideal. As make-believe as a fairy tale, stuffed animal, Santa Clause. Grieve the loss of this idealized fantasy replacement parent in order to see clearly and process, create narrative and attach to healthy others. Awareness is key. Remind yourself. This is a fantasy that can never be fulfilled by anyone and that is sad and painful, but in the words of Pia Melody, "You can handle your own pain." Taking care of yourself, validating yourself and being your own hero helps you withstand the wicked lies of the parasitic love bomber.
The love bomber leaves tell-tell clues that are unique to your individual wound. Learn to recognize the tells of your weakness to others in real time. It takes practice, but it is possible to figure out. Once you are unable to be love-bombed, you are empowered to own your own energy and direct your own life. No one can trick you into drinking their sweet sap that will eventually poison you. You are the winner of yourself. They will deliver one last attempt to penetrate your healthy self defenses, before they're off to find another host/target. They are desperate to feed their insatiable need for superficial superiority. Starve them of the opportunity. Let them sink as you rise!