Friday, November 4, 2016

25 Ways to Stop Caring About a Hurtful Person

 This article contains healing crystals of understanding that I've gained along the way. It's hard to let go of narcissistic, hurtful, exploitative and abusive people, especially when you were raised in an abusive environment. We feel defeated, helpless, hopeless and wrong. The truth is, we are NOT HOPELESS. We can CHOOSE today to let go of hurtful people and embrace ourselves. There is a lot of value inside of you that you may be spewing / projecting onto a hurtful person. This list is about how to stop doing that. Love to you. Enjoy! Also, see these Affirmations for Over Empathizing
  1. Every time you think good thoughts about that abusive person, remind yourself of how they are not good for you.
  2. When you find yourself feeling concerned for a person who has treated you poorly and has chosen not to stop or respect your boundaries, remind yourself that you are better than that.
  3. Build a relationship with yourself inside yourself that is between your wise, parental part and your lower, more vulnerable child part.
  4. Treat your inner child with love and respect so you will become immediately aware when you're being mistreated. Awareness is a huge piece of it. 
  5. Protect your inner child, vulnerable, trusting part with your strong, wise, intelligent, healed inner adult.
  6. Make yourself bigger and other people smaller in your own minds eye.
  7. Pay attention to your thoughts and recognize when your vulnerable inner child is seeking approval from people who are abusive, mean and exploitive. 
  8. Reparent your inner child by reminding yourself that you are a valuable, worthy being who deserves love and respect.
  9. Remind your inner child that you do not need the outside person who is hurtful to you.
  10. Remind your inner child of other things you can do besides focusing on a hurtful person.
  11. Remind your inner child that it doesn't matter what other people think of your decision to be strong and protect yourself.
  12. Remind your inner child that you are an adult and you are strong and you can protect yourself.
  13. Remind your inner child that you are no longer little, but that you are an adult now and you have resources to protect yourself and stand up to hurtful people.
  14. Remind yourself that you do not need this hurtful person in your life, and that the hurtful person's opinions, thoughts have nothing to do with you.
  15. Remind yourself that you are better off without the hurtful person.
  16. Distract yourself by focusing on something that is beneficial to you, rather than focusing on the hurtful person.
  17. Give yourself a break if you happen to forget and slip up and allow the hurtful person access back into your life. Don't shame yourself for making mistakes. You are growing, you will get there.
  18. Set boundaries with unhealthy people. 
  19. Work on your internal self-talk. Listen to what you are saying to yourself about you and this hurtful person. Create mantras and affirmations that affirm your worth and that help you to remember that you are more valuable to you than this outside person.
  20. Draw, write, color, do art that demonstrates your painful feelings relative to the abuse this hurtful person has inflicted upon you.
  21. Draw, write, color, do art that demonstrates your painful feelings relative to the guilt you feel for letting the abusive person go.
  22. Draw, write, color, do art that demonstrates your painful feelings relative to the responsibility you feel for care taking someone who does not have your best interests at heart. 
  23. Affirm yourself whenever you take action to stop hurtful people from damaging you.
  24. Affirm yourself with positive mantras constantly whenever you hear the internal critic shaming you for protecting yourself from hurtful others.
  25. Remind yourself that you are not responsible to take care of the needs of hurtful people. You are free to detach and take care of you.

Now, take a moment to sit down and journal about this list. Think about how you are allowing a hurtful person access to your vulnerable inner child. Think about the items on this list that resound to your heart. Think of your weak areas. Think of your strong areas. What are some things you can do to strengthen parts of yourself listed above so that you can start taking better care of yourself and keep bad people out-of-your life? Journal, journal, journal... Talk to a safe other. That's how you do it. That is the process for learning your worth and value. You can do it!!! I have faith in you. 

No comments:

Post a Comment