Thursday, September 24, 2015

Overcoming Victim Mentality

Victim Mentality is self empathy that needs to be relinquished. A story that needs to be released. It can be addicting. It can feel good. That self empathy. Self pity. Yes, you deserve your own compassion, but if you allow yourself to stay stuck in it, victim mentality will swallow you whole.

Self empathy without self soothing keeps you in victim mentality state. You have to soothe yourself out of the state and not baby yourself to stay there no matter how good it feels. (Paradox, I know) There's a time for everything. There's a time feel and hurt--this may take years--but there's also a time to let go of that pain and that hurt. There is a time to release the old stories and stop identifying with yourself as incapable, unable, unloved, unappreciated, un-whatever. Take time to release the past and the identity that goes with it. Take time to embrace your truth and readjust your thoughts according to who you really are.

You will be wrapped in victim mentality like a straight-jacket unless you go deep and release it. Use meditation techniques to get into a state of deep relaxation. Connect with your Higher Self. Release the story. Give it up. Let it go. Let peace, love, well-being, joy, harmony and clarity take its place. Let go of loving the role of the victim. Stop allowing yourself to feel the twisted pleasure of always being the underdog. Be honest with yourself. Tell yourself the truth. Only when you acknowledge your state can you let it go and move beyond it. Your task is to overcome the helplessness. You are a powerful co-creator and you have the power to overcome any obstacle. You lack nothing that you need. Loving yourself means not allowing yourself to remain helpless; grabbing hold of the power that is yours to own.

The reason this is so important is because your external life is a manifestation of your internal reality. If you identify yourself as a victim, then all you will manifest outwardly is the results of the victim. Going there in your heart will bring it to pass in your every day. You are a powerful being. What you feel inside becomes your reality. This is why you cannot afford to sit around and feel the pain of being a victim. The cost is too high. It feels good to feel sorry for ourselves, and it is necessary to recognize where we've been wronged, but it is imperative that our adult selves swoop into the scene and soothe the helpless child within. It's crucial that our adult selves catch our inner child in victim mode--and that our adult selves saves the child within--dries the tears and reminds our inner child that we are indeed competent, capable, able and powerful today as never before. You must keep yourself up inside, hold yourself higher if you wish to pull out--transcend your old associations with helplessness and pain. Stop allowing yourself to go there because wherever you're going inside yourself is what you are manifesting in your reality.  Stop allowing yourself to go there by soothing and resolving your own pain. This is saving yourself.

heart emoticon Jenna Ryan ‪#‎SelfLoveU‬

Victim Mentality is a set of conditioned thought processes that keep you stuck and tied to a helpless identity. When you have victim mentality you keep yourself there by the stories you tell yourself about who you are, how the world works and what others are about. We can overcome obstacles of life with great ease, but victim mentality is the very limits we place upon ourselves that chains us to our past. Getting out of victim mentality is necessary if we wish to move beyond our past and realize the power we hold to transform.

  1. Victim Mentality is held in place by negative core beliefs or schemas (groups of negative core beliefs) about ourselves, others and the universe.
  2. Victim Mentality is trust in the negative outcomes of life.

  3. Victim Mentality is Learned Helplessness, which is to say, we give up because we think things will end badly no matter what. We give up before we start.
  4. Victim Mentality is a host of stories we tell ourselves about who we are, who others are and what the universe is all about.
  5. Victim Mentality is the identity we learned in childhood when our needs were not met, we gave up in a way and made decisions about life to our detriment.
  6. Victim Mentality requires conscious effort to eradicate. It will not go away on its own.
  7. Victim Mentality is easier to see in others than it is to see in our own selves.
  8. An example of Victim Mentality is this, "No matter what I do, nothing I do will bring the results that I want." or "Life is difficult and people are always against me."
  9. Victim Mentality is a common pattern seen in adult child abuse and trauma survivors.
  10. Victim Mentality is common among those who threaten and/or commit suicide.
  11. Victim Mentality is replete with cognitive defenses and distortions such as wishful thinking, black or white thinking, all or nothing thinking, etc...
  12. Victim Mentality is the process of repetition compulsion of childhood relationships in adulthood.

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