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| 2 FACED AGAINST SELF |
LOVING someone actively who is not loving you is an act of SELF HATRED and shows lack of internal boundaries and childhood trauma.
Worrying about what other people think about you and your life and changing your truth to fit in is an act of SELF DESTRUCTION and abandonment of self; a form of being 2-faced against self. It causes perpetual emotional wounding to occur unconsciously. This wound causes painful negative emotions to bubble up from the core (false core beliefs) that are the root of addictive behavior and a catalyst for traumatic bonding.
Letting someone who is abusive towards you in any way back into your life is an act of SELF DESTRUCTION and a form of being 2-faced against yourself. You must love yourself from the inside out and install internal boundaries to block yourself from seeking nurture from the betrayal source.
Reaching out to a hurtful p;erson as a source of nurture is Self Destructive.
Yearning and longing for a person who is abusive to you is a way of being 2-faced against yourself. (At war with yourself -- split)
Reaching out for someone who is abusive to you is like hitting your precious self.
Loving / longing for someone who is emotionally or physically abusive towards you is an act of internal violence against yourself. A form of self hatred.
Loving or longing for someone who is abusive towards you is a work against self... pushes healthy, real relationships away and replaces with safer, painful relationships that fit with your faulty programming.
Loving or longing for someone who is emotionally abusive towards you is an act of SELF DESTRUCTION.
Taking responsibility for everything in a relationship that goes wrong and letting all of your boundaries be violated is complete ABANDONMENT OF SELF. The act of not setting boundaries keeps you in the perfect position to be traumatically bonded to the Perpetrator and keeps you from existing at all.
Reaching for someone who has betrayed your trust or shown you unkindness and disrespect is a form of SELF DESTRUCTION.
Allowing others to disregard your boundaries is a form of SELF DESTRUCTION. You are saying...
"I do not exist."
"I do not matter."
Some of us were trained to exchange our very existence for conditional love. This is accomplished by failing to maintain boundaries both internally and externally with other people.
We fool ourselves into believing that this person is more important to us EVEN than we are to OUR OWN SELVES!!! Giving the other person precedence, we forget who we are and abandon our own needs, wants, desires, feelings and more.
We fault find ourselves to keep this abusive, conditional-love source active and engaged, providing us with a "fix" for our deeper emotional issue--that of abandoning our TRUE SELVES.
Giving up self to hold semblance of worthiness in eyes of others is SELF DESTRUCTIVE, self hatred, 2-faced, self abandonment.
Performing for other people and living your life to please others is an act of SELF DESTRUCTION.
Creeps don't matter. YOU DO.
Dear Jenna,
ReplyDeleteI always read your blog and I have to say that this post really hit home for me. It stopped me dead in my tracks and I can't tell you how much I appreciate that you wrote this. I've printed it out and will reread it often. I'm still processing the information, but you are spot on with everything you wrote. Thank you for clearly explaining the dynamics, and yes it is self-hatred and stems from childhood trauma. Thank you for writing this post, it's brilliant!