Love Your Enemies Rant

Having animosity, even towards one person, pulls it onto yourself. What you focus on, you become. You are a powerful co-creator. You have to get to the place where you wish even your enemies good will. You are a vibrational being. You cannot afford to think badly of others, even the creeps--even the narcissists. What you think, you become. The things you dislike in others often represents the shadow side of yourself that's repressed, buried and denied about you. Use your ill will feelings towards others as a guide into your own heart, to get to know yourself better. Wish everyone well. Hope for the best for everyone. Disregard that old way of living in which you're competitive and envious with others. The higher you lift those who are around you, the higher you yourself will go. Become a vibrant beam of magnetic attraction of good, positive energy. Win the war by loving everyone and wanting the best for all. While you're healing, recognize bad behavior, but don't dwell on it, just move away from it. Move to people who are nurturing, nourishing, get out of the game, get out of the drama triangle by loving and wanting the best--even better than you--for those around you. This is where source is bringing me. To love my enemies, to wish the best for those I used to envy, breaking free of the game and loving. Jesus was right. Love begets love. <3

Stop Focusing On Toxic People in Your Life

My latest area of growth is in my areas of focus. For a long time I needed to focus on negative people and actions of others just to become aware of it. So for several years I've spent an inordinate amount of time focusing on negative behaviors of those around me that I was in so-called "relationship" with. I would call them out, post about it on FB, write blog posts about it. That was an important time of growth and awareness. I needed that time to separate ME from the negative environment I found myself in. I had to figure out how to set boundaries, how to walk away from toxic relationships, how to trust my intuition.

But there comes a time when you figure it out. I got it now. I know what poor behavior is. I know the silent treatment. I know gaslighting. I know the narcissist. I know it when I see it. Yeah, I still attract it to some extent--to a large extent. But what I'm learning to do now is ignore it. Let go of it. Stop pointing at it in my life because okay, calling them out does no good. Knowing what they're doing to me and getting them out of my life is enough. Enough already! Enough.

Now I am learning to focus on building positive connections and creating meaningful, fulfilling relationships. Sometimes it's easier to sit there and point the finger at mean people than it is to just be vulnerable and call up a friend who is kind. I'm learning to adjust my attention from negative behavior, to noticing those around me who are good, who are present, who are there for me. I'm opening my heart, giving my attention to those who give back. I'm looking for the positive, healthy loving people who care about me--no longer trying to change people who do not. It's so much more productive!

And the toxic relationships are falling away; for the first time, I'm experiencing true connection. Letting the good in and keeping the bad out. Give and take. Forgiving and forgetting. Allowing myself to feel my feelings and express them moderately with another person. Setting boundaries. Being respected. Wow. What a difference! What a better way to pass the time than to focus on abusive others.

There is a time for everything. There is a time to focus on the abuse you're enduring, but once you notice it, get out and stop focusing on it. Whatever you focus on you will draw to you. We create our own reality. So it's important to know what you're dealing with, and then to let them go. Send them on their way with love and light. We are all united. We are all part of the same whole. Nothing is gained by hating them. Just let them go.

Open your heart to the love that surrounds you. Give the healthy people who love you more of your time and attention. You find them everywhere, if only you stop looking to negative, painful and abusive others. Focus on people who are doing you right. If you don't know any, focus on finding them.

- Jenna Ryan 2016

Zero Tolerance for Bad Behavior

One thing about me. I PUT UP WITH ZERO BAD BEHAVIOR from other people in my life. In all areas. I always have an escape hatch and I'll walk away from anyone, anything, any time and for any reason if I feel I am being abused, used, violated or disrespected. It wasn't easy to get here, but it surely feels good now that I am here. I don't care who it is... I don't care if you're the President of the United States or the cutest potential suitor who ever entered my life--I require that everyone in my presence respect me and respect my boundaries. NO EXCEPTIONS.

I cut-off people who are rude and disrespectful of my boundaries. If I find that they are sorry and willing to make amends and stop the bad behavior, then I will let them back in my life again, slowly. Everyone makes mistakes. 

But those people who abuse me using tactics such as triangulation, gas-lighting, silent treatment, alienation, baiting, bullying, drama, withdrawal, game playing, etc... These people are removed from my life without question. I say Buhbye. It is not hard because I have no tolerance for people who abuse me. Even if it's a client and I stand to lose $100,000. I will walk away in 2 seconds. NOTHING can make me stay in a situation where I am disrespected. NOTHING.

I listen to my gut and if my feelings feel as though I'm being disrespected or dragged into something that is not in my best interest, I bow out. No explanation is needed, though sometimes I'll speak my case. Sometimes it hurts like hell, especially if you adore the person, but no one is worth your SELF RESPECT. 

I can say that since I started this practice of eliminating the people who are hurting me from my life that my life has gotten increasingly better. LIKE WAYYYYYYYYY BETTER. Better than I could have ever imagined. Each person I cut out who was abusing me ended up bringing me joy times 100 in return. Cutting abusive, manipulative people out of your life makes your life worth living again.
Some of the hardest people to say bye to were family members, and to do that, I had to have the help of a therapist. However, the people who were hardest to say goodbye to made me stronger to say bye to the easy ones, like the client who keeps trying to belittle me, dangle the carrot of money in my face or put me in triangles.

GET INFORMED as to what abuse tactics are so you can cut people off who use it. Your life will be SO MUCH BETTER. I am living proof!!!