Thursday, March 11, 2021
Holding Onto Your Truth when People Don't Approve of You
We all crave approval. We all want to be a part of a group. We want to feel as though we belong, and that we're loved and appreciated. It's natural to desire approval. The problem occurs when your identity is wrapped in what people outside of yourself think about you or your actions. It's important to stand your ground and maintain your personal integrity regardless of what others think of you or their perceptions of you.
There are times when people, family members or groups of people try to label you and degrade you and shower you with disapproval. This may make you feel ostracized. It may make you feel unloved, unappreciated, and unsupported, especially if the people who disapprove of you are vocal about it, spreading lies about you and engaging in smear campaigns to make you look badly. This can really hurt on a deep personal level, especially if you are a people pleaser already.
So the key is to be able to take flack, and to notice negative feedback, but not internalize negative feedback and smear campaigns into your identity. It's important not to take disapproval personally. Everyone has their own opinion and their own values. Sometimes your values will clash. Sometimes people will lie about you and smear you to others, and those people will believe everything they hear without knowing anything factual about the situation.
People may formulate negative opinions about you based on the gaslighting of other people, who try to paint you in a negative light by gossiping about you constantly. You cannot get people who believe lies about you or who have a bad opinion of you, or who are envious of you to like you. No matter what you do, people who are not on your side are never going to see the light through you pleasing them. You cannot prove yourself to people who are committed to having a bad opinion of you.
So what can you do when you stand your ground and others disapprove? The best thing you can do is support yourself and draw near to people who are supportive of you. Not everyone is going to like you, and that is okay. Not everyone will have your passion, and that is okay. Not everyone will have your drive and determination, and that is okay. You are who you are no matter what anyone else says. Stay true to who you are and take feedback with a grain of salt if it is hateful, defamatory and false. You are beautiful and no one can take that away.
Lot's of people will not approve of you if you are amazing; they may have reason to hate you for your good qualities. If that is the case, or if they're angry and nasty, then let them go. Or as the Bible says, "shake the dust off your feet". Open your heart to those you love and the things you love and continue to thrive where you are. Stay true to your values and give yourself room to make mistakes. No one is perfect, and we all have the right to be who we are in this world.
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