You Have Permission

Growing up the way I did, with a step-father who was a huge disciplinarian to the point of being abusive, I learned somehow that my lot in life was to be sad, bad and undeserving. I was conditioned to believe that I couldn't have fun, couldn't enjoy my life, couldn't embrace the totality of my vitality. He forced me to deny my pleasure, deny my wants, needs and anything that made me individual.

As an adult who is healing, I see that in many ways I've carried this abusive, punishing parental figure with me in my heart. This voice I cannot hear, but that underlies my thoughts, feelings and beliefs. This voice tells me that it's not okay to be happy. It's not okay to be equal. It's not okay to enjoy life. It's not okay to be who I am. This critical voice tells me that it's not okay to shine. Not okay to experience my truth.

While soul searching I found the root of this voice, the one that tells me that I deserve to be punished, that I am unworthy and incapable of complete fulfillment. I discovered that beneath the lies that I was taught to believe about myself there is a core of pure love--the source of my existence. This pure love, this source, this truth of who I am was not thwarted by the false teachings. This truth of who I am was only silenced for a time, but it is still alive and well. This is my personal power. Now that I am aware, I can tap into this truth and experience it in some ways for the first time.

The truth is that I AM WORTHY. I am pure love. I am valuable. I am capable. I am competent. I am equal to the rest of humanity. I am able to experience pure joy and pure bliss. I am able to tap into this truth of who I am and allow every part of me to live fully and experience this truth that is me.

I have permission from my truth, this source of my existence to be who I am. All I need to do is realize it. The punishing father taught me to deny my truth, to deny my right to completeness. Though I was taught to deny my essence, today I have the power and authority to override the negative voices and give myself permission to be who I am. Today I give myself permission to be happy, to live fully and to be equal. You can too.

Haters: Boxing With Shadows

Haters: Boxing with Shadows #psychology #philosophy #haters

I think haters are haters because they cannot see the truth. They don't realize the beauty of who they are. They cannot tolerate their own shadows, their own perceived badness, so they project their negative attributes onto others, releasing the tension they cannot bare. They point to others and aggressively attack them with intention to harm. Their goal is to inoculate their victims with fear, to maintain equality, regulate their emotions, exert control over their environment and boost their own self esteem--however tenuous.

It's true what Carl Gustav Jung said, “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” And everything that others are irritated about can lead us to a better understanding of them too. The things that others are irritated about give insight into their hearts and minds, telling of their level of personal enlightenment, growth and maturity.

We're all at different places. Some choose to step out of the transaction; to live in real-time, facing reality with the accompanying pain, and reigning over their own cognitive bias. Courageous souls in the midst of overcoming weaknesses, embracing the obstacles, on the path to finding the beauty of truth that lies like buried treasure beneath their own defenses.

Others stay on the lower plane of finger pointing, fault-finding, with an outer-locus of control, missing the milestones of growth until they whither like a rosebud failing to bloom.

And that is, growth. Growth to Love. And I believe we are all growing, if we allow it; to a greater place of love and acceptance of ourselves and others. I believe love is the ultimate force in the universe, the force that holds it all together. Any time we feel need to lash out at others or downgrade another person, it seems to me a diversion, or distraction from the true essence of love. Our true purpose on this earth is to learn how to let love flow purely through us. #philosophy

It is the blocking of love that harms us. It is the denial of reality that leads to pain. Focusing outwardly is ground warfare. Rising above the fleshly antics of the desperate ego's attempt to gain approval is the road less traveled. Using our cerebral cortex to rise above our instinctive lower-brain leads to maturity, individuation and inner peace.

We must learn to love the beauty in others, the truth in others, authenticity. We must support one another as we reach for the understanding of truth and love. It is an illusion that we are separate. We're all connected, joined in myriad ways--locked for better or worse--on this planet together. We need each other.

We must fight the battle in our own hearts against jealousy and envy of the good fortune of others, because, it is your own heart that either allows or repels the blessing in your own life. There is enough to go around, so long as you'll allow it. You can't hate another and love yourself.

It is not possible. You cannot wish ill on another and not become ill yourself. It is not possible.

Haters should focus on their own selves instead of turning the self-object into a 3rd party. They should accept their bad parts, realizing that it's not so bad after all. That beneath all the fear and shame and guilt, at the core of their being, therein lies an infinite supply of pure love. If only they spend their energy searching and finding the beauty in their own hearts rather than boxing with shadows they can never hit.