1. When a person repeatedly tells you what to do.
You are a grown adult and you do not need other adults telling you what to do. You get to make your own decisions, and anyone who thinks that it is their job to boss you around is controlling, and if you like it, then you are giving up responsibility for your life to other people. STOP.
2. When a person interrupts you while you are speaking.
If you feel that you are regularly interrupted while you are speaking to a person, then it is true. It's really happening. Face that you're being interrupted and being squished out of conversations with this person and accept the red flag for what it is and don't try to change the other person into a healthy person who can relate on your level when it is clear that they can't even let you talk.
If you interrupt others when they are speaking, stop. Everyone needs to be seen, heard and understood.
3. When a person doesn't listen to you.
When someone is
listening to you, you feel it, you hear it, you sense it, you know it.
When someone does not listen to you, it is a sign that the person does
not care and never will--it's best to let this person go and/or keep
them at a distance because they will never listen and it's damaging to
you to try to communicate and relate with someone who won't listen to
you.
4. When a person refuses to allow you to exist.
If you feel like talking to the person is hard work, that sharing anything about yourself is very difficult, or getting a word in about what your life is all about is not easy and flowing, then you are dealing with an emotional stingy person. Communication should be easy, flowing and reciprocal.
4. When a person tries to make you feel guilty for setting a boundary in the past. Some people hang your boundaries over your head like you did a bad thing when you set it; you hurt them with your boundary, need for space and/or distance.
5. When a person texts you asking how you're doing, then doesn't respond when you respond to their text.
This is an annoying Red Flag. It's a pattern with some people and if they do this to you, it shows you that there is something wrong. Normal, healthy, loving friends and people who want the best for you don't leave you hanging via text. It takes 5 seconds to text someone and hold up the conversation. It should be a rare occurrence when you or your friend leave texts wide open with no response. *Super Irritating
6. When a person tells you to go hang around or be with someone who has abused you in the past.
No one who cares about you would tell you or encourage you to go be with someone who has injured and hurt you in the past.
7. When someone states the way they need you to be in order for them to feel comfortable.
People who are toxic will share the quiet part out loud. This is usually a subconscious process, so they don't mean to do it, but they will give red flags to their red flags. They will say things like:
- "I need you to make less money than me because I would feel uncomfortable if you had more than me."
- Oh that's great, "I can date you and my ex-wife will become jealous."
8. If someone brings up something negative about yourself that you shared.
People who love you and care about you and who are for you do not do this. The only person who would do this is
- 1) Someone who is trying to gain power over you through making you feel bad and negging you;
- 2) Someone who feels threatened by you and feels the need to bring you down to make them feel better about themselves; or
- 3) Someone who is playing power and control games.
9. When someone only likes people who think exactly like they think.
It's human nature to be unique and have our own opinions and beliefs. If someone is closed to you having your own ideas and doing your own thing, then that is a red flag.
10. When a person does not text you back or call you back as they said they would.
I don't even need to explain this one. This is a huge indicator that the person you're talking to doesn't like you, respect you or give one crap about you.
11. When someone calls you up to tell you their problems, but when it's your time to speak, they have to get off the phone. (This is a pattern)
No explanation needed.
12. When someone brags about their life.
A healthy, secure person does not have to brag about themselves. It's okay if a friend tells you about great things happening, but this should not turn into a nightly monologue about how great they are.
13. When a person is addicted to drugs.
You cannot have a relationship with someone who is addicted to drugs. You also cannot help a person who is addicted to drugs. An addict must help himself or herself. Getting involved with this person will lead you to a dark place--steer clear.
14. When a person flies off the handle and goes cray cray on you.
Obvious red flag.
