The narcissist has a running list of insults ready-made for their target to be hurled at them during the devaluation phase. They use these insults daily to keep the target in a state of constant confusion, and to solidify the target's experience of being "less-than" or beneath the narcissist in every way, and to maintain the Narcissist's Superior role through what I will now call Superiority Framing (see article in this blog).
The insults may be direct or indirect, depending on the strength and awareness of the target. The stronger the target, the more covert the insults must be from the narcissist. Insults are woven into the fabric of every conversation and every engagement with the disordered individual, focusing on the perceived insecurities of the target.
All of the narcissist's communications are a manipulation to to narcissistic supply from the target. Nothing that comes out of the narcissist's mouth is accidental, as the primary concern for such a person is getting narcissistic supply, or fuel (attention and admiration) from the target. The narcissist's communications center on the following:
- Promoting themselves as Superior
- Bragging
- Demanding Attention via emotional threats and punishments
- Body language and facial expressions
- Attention seeking behaviors
- Addiction (black hole of all problems)
- Lying
- Story telling
- Trance words and phrases
- Know it all
- Competitiveness
- Insulting target as Inferior to them.
- Discrediting the target's accomplishments
- Backhanded compliments
- Withholding
- Body language and facial expressions
- Lack of reciprocity
- Gaslighting
- Lying, deceiving, conning
- Creating drama
- Unsolicited advice
- Comparison / Triangulation
The sophistication of the narcissist and the quality of the supply that the target provides determines the energy, effort and efficacy of the narcissist's ruse to exert control and get supply.
There is no middle ground, no regular conversation. The target is always triggered to provide validation or self deprecation and defensiveness with the narcissist. The target is trained, and is put in a position to constantly prove their worth and value, prove their view point and thus to build up the fragile ego of the narcissist for a short period of time.
