Differentiation & Healing from Attachment Trauma

This is amazing content I am reposting, courtesy of the following Instagram Page: @Wiseheartpdx 

THIS IS NOT MY ARTICLE. IT IS COPIED FROM INSTAGRAM POST!!! 

IT'S SUPER GOOD!!! 

"From a process orientation, differentiation is an active, ongoing process of connecting to and honoring your own experience, acting in integrity with your values, and engaging in collaboration with others to meet needs. When differentiated, you are able to identify your needs and preferences in any given situation and to speak up for them when necessary. You regularly and explicitly clarify boundaries. You are able to manage the reactivity and discomfort that comes from either risking greater intimacy or potential separation and conflict. ⠀
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Differentiation could be described as being who you are in the presence of who they are. If you are someone who thinks you are more connected to yourself and happier when you are not in an intimate relationship, you may have developed your individuality but likely have difficulty with differentiation.⠀
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Here are some core skills and behaviors that signify and support differentiation to cultivate and watch for:⠀
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1. Groundedness and clarity about your identity; confidence in your innate goodness and lovability⠀
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2. Self-awareness, self-empathy, self-regulation/soothing remain accessible and consistent throughout a given day⠀
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3. Self-responsibility: an ability to share unmet needs without blame, criticism, or demands⠀
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4. An ability to meet differences with with respect, curiosity, empathy, or celebration⠀
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5. An ability to listen with empathy in interactions you perceive as difficult or challenging⠀
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6. An ability to make changes within or to end relationships in which collaboration and mutual respect are not met⠀
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7. Consistent engagement in activities and behaviors that support your thriving⠀
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8. Having multiple trusted strategies to meet any given need; not expecting to meet any need with just one person or one strategy ⠀
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9. A consistent sense of meaning and purpose⠀
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10. A consistent and confident sense of autonomy and agency ⠀
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11. An ability to express authentically while considering the needs of others and risking conflict ⠀
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12. Mindfulness practice: noticing your experience with compassion; having an ability to identify your intention, feelings, needs, and requests in any given moment