You Earn Respect

You cannot tell someone you love, "you must start respecting me." Respect is earned by your actions. The way you allow others to treat you gauges how much they respect you, whether it be a friend, spouse, lover or family member. It's how you allow yourself to be treated that garners the respect of others. If you let others treat you in disrespectful ways, then they will disrespect you. That's how relationships work.

And it's okay to be respected. You have to HOLD the respect that you earn. You have to get used to being respected because it may feel weird at first.. It may feel weird in a variety of ways for the rest of your life as you grow stronger and stronger. It's a better feeling than being dissed.

***You can't be mad at yourself for not respecting yourself either. This is in itself disrespect to yourself. You have to honor wherever you are and be super-nice to yourself even when you're being disrespected. This is crucial. You can't carry the shame of the disrespectful person. You have to let their shame go. They are the ones who are treating you badly. Let them feel bad for themselves. It is not your fault they're being an asshole.***

You earn respect. Respect is earned. You go to work, then you EARN a paycheck. If you take care of yourself, set boundaries and walk away from bullshit, you will earn self respect and the respect of others. Earning respect is about refusing to give to anyone who is not treating you the way you deserve to be treated. You deserve the best. You deserve to be honored, cherished and valued.

If someone in your life is not honoring you, cherishing you and valuing you, and you continue to maintain the relationship as is, this could be because of a few reasons:

1. You feel worthless so you feel that you have to give an unequal amount to another person in order to be loved.

2. You are codependent, merged, stuck, addicted to another person because you do not know what is emotionally yours and what is not yours.

3. You don't have a sense of self and you don't realize they're being abusive or disrespectful towards you because you're not in touch with your intuition.

4. You don't have the relationship skills to set boundaries.

5. You are being totally controlled by a narcissistic family system.

6. You are afraid of being by yourself if you walk away from a chronically disrespectful person.

7. You take the blame for everything and internalize their disrespect, thinking you deserve it.

Well, you have to work on all these things if you want to gain the respect of yourself and those around you. As you require respect from those around you, you will begin to respect yourself more and more. You begin to earn your own power, perhaps for the first time. And you get stronger and stronger.

So the key is to get to the place where everyone in your life treats you with great respect. Where people make you feel welcome, are glad you are alive and who care about your feelings. Your job on this planet is to learn to be respected. You've got to earn the respect of those around you.

Ways to Earn Respect

- Refuse to engage with people who are rude to you.

- Make requests for things when appropriate.

- Make sure your voice is heard.

- Speak up when things are bugging you.

- Look people in the eye.

- Feel good about yourself.

- Set boundaries.

- Know what you want.

- Ask for what you want.

- Refuse to be controlled and manipulated.

- Stand your ground.

- Don't give in.

- Consider your own interests first.

These are just a few thoughts on respect. I'm really thinking about this and making adjustments in my life to reflect the utmost respect for myself. It's incredible.